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It’s funny how life’s journey has so many twists and turns...so many ups and downs...it’s funny the ups and downs come and go but we still are here...guess it shows how resilient we are.

The last few months have been fill of many of those twists and turns...and yessss I am still here! When I get into the stinking thinking I tend to isolate myself...from my friends and from family...I know it shouldn’t be that way but for me I have conditioned myself that way...to handle things in my own way and in my own time.  The down part of that is missing out on my friends and family but I guess that is what works for me...

Anyways as mentioned a lot has happened...there have been a lot of changes...

Steven, my grandson is now in a behavioral treatment unit and he seems to be doing well...he has been there for about 5 weeks.  The first few weeks were awful...he had so much anger in him as he did not want to be there...but he has since settled in and understands why he is there and is trying to do the best he can in bettering himself...

I have accepted the idea that Steven will be living with me for an undetermined amount of time as he is not ready to go live with his mother and to be honest I don’t think she is ready herself...He has expressed the idea that he wishes to stay with me...and I have told him that he is welcomed here for as long as he wants...as long as I am not a ? yr old Nanny with a ? yr old grandson living with her and cramping her style...lol...or else I just may move in with him and start cramping his lifestyle...know what he said? “Heck Noooo!” LOL

His mother Melissa is still in Scarborough and doing as well as she can...she quit her job as one of her co-workers was sexually harassing her...after reporting it to her boss nothing was done...she lasted about a year with this and finally had enough and quit...although she is struggling a bit financially...she and her partner Mark seem to be doing well and there relationship is strong...I am happy for the both of them...I am learning not to butt in...as hard it gets sometimes...I bite my lip and tell her I love her and whatever decisions she makes I am behind her all the way...something that at one time I could not do...

Miranda is doing well...she was to move out but that did not work out...so she is still living with me...I do not mind though as financially it works out for the both of us...we are looking into getting a larger place though...a 2 bedroom is a tad bit small for the 3 of us...Hopefully we will have found a place by early next year.

My health has been on and off...lately my legs have been really acting up...but I am working on it...I have lost about 23 pounds...slowly but it is coming off...I can get a bit anxious though...I want it off now...fast! But I know it’s not going to happen overnight...

One of my main reasons of losing weight is that I have recently been diagnosed with Diabetes...something that I have been dreading...It’s my own fault...I was warned last year to smarten up or I would end up with it...but no...I did not listen...so I can’t blame anyone but myself...what am I going to do about it?  Well I have been working on losing weight...I test myself everyday to see how my sugar is and I am more aware of what I put in my mouth...It’s a hard lesson to learn but I am learning it.

My relationship with my mother has totally changed...I had to look deep down inside myself and ask myself if I wanted to waste my life being at odds with her and fighting about this and that or spend the rest of my life at peace with her loving her with all my heart...I chose the latter...things are so different now...we are closer and we can talk about anything and everything...I cannot ever remember being this close to my mom...and it is an awesome feeling!

Yes...I have learned that in order for me to be peace with my life and the people around me I had to quit pointing fingers and start from within.  I feel blessed as I have a loving family and tons of caring friends...for that I am grateful.

Megwetch (thank you)

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