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Benefits
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Hello Fabulous 40 & beyond!
Dating after divorce is NOT easy. Dating after being married 17 yrs is NOT EASY!!!!!
I divorced at 38 in 2006 and decided at that time to take some time to travel and do some soul searching.
I’ve met a few people not worth even discussing but all lessons in life.
Now, I’ve recently joined e-harmony in search of soulmate. So far, so good I date a new person every week. I’ve sort of become a serial dater.
I must admit it is somewhat exciting but at the same time sad that because I married at 21, I missed a huge part of my life. Now I feel like I am making up for lost time and playing catch up with my 20’s and 30’s.
The beauty of 40, is never wanting to be 20 again! For that I am grateful. However, I do have the chance of weeding out traits in people that I find unacceptable; so dating sevral men in a month, is not such a bad thing.
I do yearn for that special person in my life and don’t give up the hope of finding him.
Any feedback or similar experiences are welcome.
Please share.
Virgo13
Thanks for your message. I completely agree with putting things out into the universe. I’m a firm beliver that the universe always conspires in our favor.
My dating experience has been a quite different from yours because I live in a large, cosmopolitan east coast city; where everyone is too busy, too harried, 5 minute attention span and jaded with the luxuries a big city offers.
The ratio is 4 women to 1 man, so they are in no hurry for committment or even establishing meaningful, purposeful relationships.
I also don’t have children and find myself meeting men that are NOT SURE they want any; men that share custody with their kids or my all-time favorite...men MY AGE that want a 25 year old trophy girl.
This is not the general consensus and I can only speak from my personal experiences. I’m sure some of them are just guilty by “gender” association and not because they feel/act this way.
I am at times tempted to leave my beloved city.
Funny thing you should mention this letter to the universe.
I have written a letter myself; a checklist of sorts I will call it.
I call it my: Added Value. I use this term to define experiences, people and things in my life (and OUT of my life as well).
In this letter to the universe I have listed the emotional, spiritual, sexual, physical and financial values I need in partner. The last two being last on my list since money and beauty will never sustain any relationship.
I trust the universe will manifest itself and send my way exactly what I’m looking for.
In the meantime, I am enjoying dating and meeting new people. They all teach me something about myself and what are deal breakers and deal makers in my life.
This list serves as a barometer of sorts and a checklist. I go back to it often and sometimes even after my dates.
I guess I’m not alone!
hello———I am separated currently for 2 years after a 30 year marriage. I am 51 and this freedom has been unbelievable. What I have found is there is a lonliness after being married. I have decided that there will be no toxic people in my life. My friends have literally saved me at the worse times and I believe I am doing ok. Everyday seems to be a struggle financially, but even that is something I am dealing with. I have 2 teenage sons, 20, and 23. They get a bit outspoken at times as they live with me. I told them they are allowed to have an opinion, it doesnt mean I am listening to it. If you are successful with the dating sites, thats great. My advice is to be careful. Let us know how you are doing! vgirl
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