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Eight years ago my mother married a hateful very intolerant man.Over the years he has stolen from my sister,my daughter and myself. Four months ago out of the blue,while I was out of town with my dad, he called my boyfriend to tell him that my sister and I were ingrates.
My mother has taken the stance that Im the devil incarnate and am unfounded in my wanting to have nothing to do with them,that im attacking a man who has never done anything to me. She is now trying to get my sister to have nothing to do with me,and Im sure shes going to tell my daughter Im manipulating everyone.
I am saying nothing,crying to noone, I just want them to leave me alone. I am truely shocked, I cant comprehend a mother treating her child(grown or not) this way and I feel a little sad about it



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Nov 14, 2009
    • I would feel sad too! I am so sorry..... keep venting until it’s all outfrown



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Nov 14, 2009
    • I’m so sorry.. Vent away.. I too would feel sad..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lori Daniell wrote Nov 14, 2009
    • I cannot even imagine the pain you are in...let it rip girl..let it rip.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 14, 2009
    • Clyn, Ive been in this situation in different ways with family members.  Your mother wants you to accept her husband unconditionally and she is either blind to what he does and says or she knows and still wants her family to accept him the way she does.  Basically its a way to force you into her circle by cutting you off from your family.

      This is a hurtful thing comming from a mother.  I do know this very much, first hand.  Its taken me many years to raise my mom, in different ways as our battles were over the fact I was a working mother single most of my life, and she wanted me to be married and living off a husband.

      Therefore, she would do much the same to me, more times than I can count in my life.  

      My advise to you is to understand its not you.  Its your mother and her husband that has the problems.  For some reason they want you in their world to abuse and if you dont step in to that world you will not get you be with your family or loved ones.  Its a ploy.  Take the high road and dont step back under those terms.

      Tell your mother and sister you love them very much but you wont accept the blame in this situation and pray your mother can see the truth someday.  

      It will happen, I promise.  It happened in my life, Ive had years with out speaking to my mom which hurt us both very much as we never stopped loving each other.  She is just old school and didnt understand a working mother.  Ive had to teach her its OK.

      Your situation is more extreme because of the abusive person in your mothers life.  Be brave as you dont need that negativity in your life.  My family Crest, one of them is HOLD FAST LIKE A WALL of Bronze... I do.  You can too.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lilwhitedaisy wrote Nov 15, 2009
    • I hope none of what i write comes across the wrong way. Your an adult, you can have whoever you want or dont want in your life. Your mother is an adult and can have whoever she wants in her life. The thing here is you think your mother should not be with this man...the man she loves unconditionally , is blind to the faults that you see. It sounds like you have never accepted this man who your mom chose to love, into your life, he is not your father, so why should you! BUT he IS your mothers S/O so out of respect to your mother despite what he has done, despite what you feel towards him.....you should at least respect that HE is who your mom has chosen to be with. You are not a little girl anymore your an adult, you are not the center of your moms world anymore....she has her own world..at that is HIM. Harsh as that may seem, hard to bear as that may feel..those are the facts. You have your own life to live, so does your mother. Hurt as you may feel, if you do not want to have this man in your life...you lose your mom too..they go hand in hand in her eyes. Vent your frustration and hurt, your dissapointment and anger that she chose him over you.Do what you need to do for your own sanity in this situation, but can you really live with out your mom in your life....if not you may just have to swallow your pride and accept who your mom has chosen to love in her life.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Clyn wrote Nov 15, 2009
    • lilwhite
      I gave them the respect that they chose each other. Even after the lieing started I let it go and tried my best to be nice. Then came the stealing and and the verbal attacks on all of us. Now my mother is his puppet lying to cover for his lies.
      I do not care to split them up or anything like that,I just made the choice not to have that BS in my life.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 15, 2009
    • Allow yourself to feel the hurt but I do feel you‘re making the right choices for yourself to stay clear of the controversy and the drama in all of this. Sometimes just quiet strength speaks the truth louder than anything. I understand, though, that this is very hurtful.

      And, you can vent here anytime you need to. We can always listen, understand and lend whatever moral support you need.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lilwhitedaisy wrote Nov 15, 2009
    • That was the point i was making clyn, to choose for your self as an adult, I can understand that sometimes just like us, our parents dont always make smart choices, and their choices , just like ours, sometimes affect a whole family. You need to love your mother, respect her choice, but understand that you cant be a part of her choices as it affects you. Sometimes taking the higher road, not playing into the trap of its me or him, and just continuing to be who you are, taking care of your own life, and hope that your mom will see that she also has to respect you as her daughter and your choice not to be disrespected by her husband....as he has disrespected you..and by doing so your mother too..after all you are her daughter! but i wanted to focus on you as it is you that was needing to vent, let it go, realise that he is who she wants, faults and all, but that you have a choice to have that in your life or not..and by the sound of it you have made your choice...and you are sad that it has come to that...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Samib wrote Nov 16, 2009
    • Too bad she is oblivious to his negativity, but he may have her fooled.  I’m sorry you are going through this, but don’t get sucked into this.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Allinet48 wrote Nov 17, 2009
    • Sometimes loving someone is just not enough. You can choose to not have these people in your life- sounds like you need to take control for your own good(and your children).



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