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A word of warning, dear readers. If you're in the mood for a heartwarming story or some juicy gossip, you might want to hit the "next" button and read someone else's blog. This is not going to be an uplifting post, but a more call to action.

Over the weekend our house was once again full of kids (most of whom are now in college), many great discussions, and the regular hustle and bustle that my husband and I are so used to.  Last night, though, the kids' conversation took a different turn. I'm one of those moms that always eavesdrops, checks and controls. My kids are well aware that when they really don't want me to know something, they take it out of the house. The same goes for many of their friends who grew up in my house over the years. So it didn't surprise them when I stepped outside to listen in on their heated conversation. What surprised me was how angry I got as I listened to what they had to say.

The argument started with politics, touched on religion, and then became really nasty. One of the guys proclaimed that Americans really never landed on the moon, that it was all a hoax. He also declared that 9/11 was orchestrated by the Bush administration. After getting over the initial shock of his statement, I began to see that he was not the only one believing this lunacy. Others were joining in and agreeing with what he was saying. As my kids tried to control the situation, I found them defending America and what we stand for.  

Later in bed, I tossed and turned thinking about the conversation and what had happened to the minds of those kids when they left to go to college. I couldn't sleep, so I got up and began to write.  

As you read this post, please keep in mind that this is not about whether you are a republican, democrat, Christian, Jew, Muslim, or subscribe to any other religion or belief. This is not about your race or mine. This is about our children and what happens to their minds when they go off to college.

I believe that once kids get to college they are brainwashed. That's right, brainwashed. I always thought that you went to college to broaden your horizons and to learn. So why is it that 90% of the kids coming back from college are way too liberal? And why do they only see one side of the story? During last night's debate, one of the kids said he didn't agree with the Health Care Reform plan proposed by the Obama administration. Without skipping a beat (or actually listening to anything he had to say), several other kids jumped all over him.  At no point was he given an opportunity to defend his statement, and they ended the "debate" by calling him a racist.

I probably wouldn't be so upset if their argument was legitimate.  However, no one wanted to listen to what this guy had to say. Whether right or wrong, he wasn't given an opportunity to speak. And once they shut him down, no one explained why the reform was good for America. Why? Because not one of those kids took the time to learn about it! The media screamed that it's good, their professors said it is what we need, and they all bought into it without question.

This really bothers me!  The issue here isn't whether health care reform is good for us or not. It's about the lack of information and strident opinions that are not backed by knowledge. It's about calling someone a racist simply because they disagree with you. At one point during the argument I got so angry that I jumped in and asked everyone, "When was the last time you called your grandma? Your aunt, or uncle? When was the last time your family got together for a holiday?" The responses I received made me even more depressed.

We live in a world that is complicated, angry and fast, and our kids have been dealt a bad hand. They didn't get to enjoy the peaceful, worry-free childhood we did. Instead, our kids had to deliver from a very early age. First it was their grades, then the A.P. classes, then the extracurricular activities, then the charity work to look good on their college applications, etc., etc., etc.  We parents were so involved with our own lives that our kids were left to do their own thing. We failed to teach them family values, so they concentrated on their achievements and getting ahead. The results are frightening.  

Someone recently pointed out to me that the people on Twitter and Facebook tend to be very narcissistic, and I agree. Who cares what we had for lunch or dinner? Who really gives a damn about the status line on our profile? Wouldn't it be more beneficial if we took the time to pick up the phone and call someone special in our lives? Or reminded our kids to do so? And when did it become okay for professors to teach our kids what's right and what's wrong? Shouldn't they stick to teaching their subjects instead of pushing their political views?  

About half of my friends are conservative republicans and half are democrats, with a few independents mixed in. But that has nothing to do with our friendship. If we were to sit down and discuss politics the conversation might get heated, but it would never get abusive. Why? Because we respect each other's opinions and we care about the relationships we have built. Apparently, the current generation of kids doesn't. Why worry about hurting someone's feelings when you can instantly make another 100 "friends" on Facebook, Tweeter or MySpace?

Am I on a rant here? You bet! But I come with a message. I applaud all the women who didn't have kids because they didn't let society dictate whether or not they should have children. But for those of us who did, I'm here to remind you that our kids are our responsibility and ours alone.  

It is never wrong to teach, explain and remind our kids that life is all about relationships. That Tweeter, Facebook, etc., get old very fast, and when something happens it's the support of our family and friends that gets us through. And it is not wrong to remind our children that it is their responsibility to call and take care of their elders, that grandma and grandpa are not there just to provide gifts at Christmas.  

As women over 40, it is our responsibility to fix this crazy world.  It is our job to teach our kids how to be civil, polite and respectful of others, especially their elders.  Because if we don't, we will all be very lonely at our deathbeds.

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Member Comments

    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • I come from a family of politicians and political activists but my blessed only daughter has no interest until one day something happens to her ...... for years she had a weekend job which was untaxed as is the way because she is a student – she then starts work full time and bam instead of her carefully worked out wage of X amount all allocated for shoes, clothes, make up, trips out it was Y a full third missing OMG  I'm surprised you didn't hear the hollering all over to the West coast of the USA.
      So I explained about taxes and government and what it was spent on and how she had three choices – don't work so pay no taxes and have no life or don't pay taxes and go to prison or pay taxes and vote for a better government if you don't like what they spend your money on ........ while she had been in lala land of spend as you earn we had gone to war, same stupid government etc; new tax laws passed and she had taken no interest .....
      But some day's I'm blown away when listening to my daughter and the girls who work for us just coming out with amazing statements and when I ask them to back it up or qualify it they will say oh it was on Facebook or such and such site ..... And they believe some utter crap no facts, no substance. It's like if it's on someone's wall on Facebook it must be true – you can imagine how quickly I rip that to shreds – but I often wonder do other parents hear this rubbish and say "hey listen to yourselves " .....
      My mother who is 73 and very savvy said the other day Mark Zuckerman the founder of Facebook is more powerful than the President of the US ....... maybe she is right in some homes?



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Great post Yana, and you are right, schools are so quick to jump in with their own personal political beliefs, just recently with Obama’s speech to out students, our local schools came up with some nonsense about not having the technology to allow the children to watch the speech. Bullcrap, they have the technology to allow our kids to watch movies....We do need to stand up collectively and inform and educate our kids. Not everything is a schools/teachers responsibility, we as parents also need to do more.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • I allow my kids to decide while giving them both sides.
      They once asked me what religion they should be. I told them as they get older it is their decision that I am not going to force that on them.

      They have all gone to different types of churches with me and or with their friends. They need all aspects.

      As far as politics, they do tend to follow us, but I always try and explain that they need to read up on and decide for themselves.

      My mother is Catholic, I went to a Catholic pre-school. But, after that, I was allowed to make my decisions for myself.  

      We, as parents should not force our opinions on our children, but let them learn and grow by making their own decisions on certain issues.

      IMHO

      Gr8 blog Yana!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • WOW - I am angry with you. I agree with you. Here’s the problem with the newer generations political views: We have grown up under the influence of our families and adapted to or “coined” ourselves democrats or republicans based on what our families political standings are.

      Now, I have no problem with this, I am the same way. However, a LARGE percentage of the people who believe the same thing as their family have no idea what is going on, rather just  picked up the label because that is what they grew up around.

      I too respect each persons political standings, but when someone can not support their statement, or let alone have no idea what is going on, that is wrong to me in many ways.

      Here’s proof (and this is actually not the newer generation but 30/40 year old age group)
      During this past election, Jay Leno did his “street talks,” (or whatever it is called), where he went out and asked the general public some questions. He basically fed about 5-7 people, all the republican viewpoints, stating things such as pro-life, anti gay-marriage, etc. and they would nod in approval going on to say (this is true), “THAT IS EXACTLY WHY I AM VOTING FOR OBAMA“.  

      They are clueless, uneducated, and are voting for someone whose policies they don’t even understand (or know for that matter).

      One more example. I was in class one day (college), and a peer had a large Obama sign he refused to put down (in class). So, eager to know why he was voting for Obama (after watching this leno act), I asked him. Do you know what he said?  

      “BECAUSE HE‘S COOL.”

      I tried to pry and ask him what he does/doesn’t agree with and he said he didn’t know, but that Obama is cool in Hollywood and he wants a cool guy to be the next president. PATHETIC.  

      Republican or Democrat, I just wish the public was more aware of what is going on, or just not vote at all.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tammy Slater-Kendrick wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Yana, you are so dead-on-the-mark with this post! Unfortunately, our society is so quick to jump on the bandwagon of whomever is popular that most never take the time to find out the facts for themselves. Our young people are being fed mis-information from the media, from movie stars and popular musicians and from their peers on social networks. The last thing they need is to have respected professors make the matters worse.

      When I was the Faculty Coach and acting Department Chair of a local college, I frequently reminded the other instructors that our job was to educate and to teach the students to think for themselves to prepare them to enter the working world - NOT to force-feed them our own beliefs and values. When we had class discussions that involved volatile subjects, everyone was given an opportunity to make their case and no one was allowed to personally attack anyone with an opposing opinion. It was considered training for corporate meetings where you damn well better be able to explain your position and not personally attack someone.

      Since Pres. Obama came on the scene, everyone who questions his actions or criticizes what our government is currently doing is quickly dismissed as a “racist.” Unfortunately, that’s probably going to continue as long as he’s in office.

      Keep speaking up, Yana! Don’t let those kids blindly follow someone else just because it’s the popular thing to do.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Scorpion13 wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • It’s a young person’s nature to question EVERYTHING. Yeah, sometimes they go off the deep end with ill-formed ideas, but so do adults. As a college grad with an M.A, I never felt I was being brainwashed...and I certainly had conservative as well as liberal profs. The purpose of college is to teach you to think. To consider. To try out new ideas. Sometimes heated debates are part of that. Maybe the greater lesson they need to learn is how to listen to all sides and all opinions without shutting down the poor kid who disagreed.

      I have to say,I love teenagers (yes,I know I’m weird!)and young adults because they approach life with such zest and sometimes a zeal for overturning the previous generation’s ideas of right/wrong that often makes us uncomfortable.  

      Still, I think dissent is a good thing. It’s how this country came into existance.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anne Lyken-Garner wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • I don’t like to talk politics, but there is one thing I want to pick up on. Family, as you said, is what’s important and the kids learn that from home - from us.

      I think you have a point with the twitter/facebook scenario. People are too busy ‘getting to know’ people they would never know because it’s a safe relationship. No input is required. You can look up hundreds of profiles and ‘like’ a few here or there.  

      I do hope we don’t forget our real-life friends and family. Great post!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • “*when something happens it's the support of our family and friends that gets us through*“... So true.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Elaine11 wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • This is such a common problem and it saddens me and yes, makes me angry. I for one wish my children didn’t have to go to college for the very reason you stated...brainwashing. They are taught by people in positions of influence what is “right” to believe and what isn’t. They are not taught about freedom of speech. They are not taught to listen to differing points of view but taught that if someone doesn’t agree with you they are wrong, end of story. What ever happened to healty debate on any topic? My goal is to reinforce to my children that they have every right in the world to differ in opinion from anyone, even me, but they are to be respectful. Which I guess is something else that is no longer taught in school. Respect. Something that is sadly lacking today.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • I’m so with you on this! Brainwashed kids tend to come from homes where values, thoughts and education are not nurtured or discussed... and I, too, was a Mother that checked, eavesdropped and controlled...  

      I’ve always had an open door with my son... anything was okay to talk about.... but I had and still do have rules... if the subject turned to politics or an opinion about something... it had to be backed by facts... that forced me to show facts too.

      I discovered a lot about myself raising my son.  I realized, growing up I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion that differed from my parents.... and if... stupidly... I tried... it had horrible results.... so I was determined to be different... Erik has opinions... we don’t always share them... but he has his reasons for his opinions and they are at least well thought out... and I respect him and he respects me... he respects his grandparents... and what they worked for all their lives...growing up, he called his grandparents every other week for years... even just to say hi and tell them about school and see how they were doing... I guess it boils down to family values.

      From what you said about your children defending America and their opinions... and their relationship with you and your hubby ...looks like you did a damn good job, Mom... be proud... you taught them values... and respect...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tok08 wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Or do you think it may just be a symptom of our age? I feel quite sure our parents despaired of ‘youth’ when they were our age. I find myself turning into a grumpy old woman about lots of things. But I realise it is just because I am now getting older and am in fact turning into a grumpy old woman. Which actually I quite enjoy happy
      If children are shocked by suddenly being hit with the reality of adult life, then surely the parents haven’t taught them how to survive the adult world?
      But in terms of them all shouting at each other - they merely have the arrogance of youth and believing totally that they are right and that we ‘grown ups’ just haven’t got the first idea. They will be amazed in a few years time, how much we seem to have learned!
      We were all the same. Age will ripen them nicely. No need to be so hard on them.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Since Pres. Obama came on the scene, everyone who questions his actions or criticizes what our government is currently doing is quickly dismissed as a "racist." Unfortunately, that's probably going to continue as long as he's in office

      so true Tammy.

      Then on the other side you have those calling him and anyone liking him nazis, terrorists, hitler.

      Sad people cannot grow up on both sides and stop the name calling.  

      For me, personally, I feel he deserves a chance to run the Country. He is and was voted in fairly as our President. Must be hard to be the first black pres. IMHO

      As for respect and such, those things are best taught at home and practiced at home. I hate when my kids come and ask me if I am a ‘nazi’ cause I voted for Obama. My comment is always the same. No, i’m not. Sadly ignorance abounds in our Country. And I also tell them that those who did not vote for Obama are not all racists either. Sad what our children have to hear from grown people!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Ssdelmar wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Yana,

      The only thing I would disagree with in your posting is that ‘it isn’t uplifting.’  

      On the contrary, to read of your wonderful parenting and undeterred involvement in your children’s lives, and your active attention to their character development is very uplifting.

       Now more than ever, kids need guidance in separating fact from fiction and the publicity hounds from the true heroes and heroines in our society.  

      Your kids are very fortunate.  

      ssdelmar
      www.GetCareerWise.com



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deprogrammed wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • To me college does promote a path of linear thinking; however, this phenomena is not limited to the young.  How many of your peers feel the same way?  How often do each of us get together and have an Amen session (kinda like this one)?  Birds of a feather, and all that - like attracts like.  The people you spend the most time with are probably of the same mind, so aren’t we, by this discussion, doing exactly what they did - coming to a conclusion without fully vetting the opposing view?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janie Emaus wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Yana -

       What a great post.  I am in complete agreement with you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dona wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • In my opinion, “Critical Thinking” is a skill that is lacking in many people today—- people of all ages.  I believe it is a lesson that needs to be taught as early as possible in a young person’s life.  And, needs to continue being learned/reinforced all the way through their formal educational school years.  Hopefully, that lays a strong foundation to last their entire lives.  

      No right, no wrong, no judgment...simply informed opinions being made and communicated when necessary.

      Just my ‘blue-sky world’ speaking... ;)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Awesome post, Yana...I don’t know where to begin..we live in a world that has mixed feelings about every subject under the sun..if you buy this product, you will develop a disease..if you have a difference in opinion about major issues, you are dubbed an ignorant idiot..if you say the sky is blue, there is always someone right there stating it is purple..anyway, that is life and we encourage our kids to have proper morals, values and respect, but will there be someone waiting to test them along the way, sure..but if they are strong in their convictions and have a good solid base, then Joe Schmo can talk till he is blue in the face, but our kids knowing they have strength, love and support from their families will be able to rise above anything.estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamra wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • I believe you are correct, Yana.  Many in academia hope to move the world toward a socialistic society, and often take the opportunity to convince young voters to join them.  It is maddening and makes me angry, too!  But I take heart in thinking these kiddos will see the world very differently once they are forced to survive on their own.  They will most likely become much more moderate, blending their idealistic desires to save the world with a longing for their own fair treatment.

      It is truly sad when people behave like sheep going to slaughter, voting for a candidate with little understanding of his/her positions on issues.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sausan wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • I’m one of those who chose not to have kids.  I never had the empty arm syndrome and I never regretted my decision.  I’m also very careful not to talk about politics or religion.  

      I’m of the mindset that we are all one god/goddess (whatever) subdivided by our different cultural/societal/individual minds.  Collectively - on certain venues - we can conquer anything; divided we stumble and fall.  

      I’ve also discovered that young people love to be heard and want to make a stand or dent, somehow, somewhere.  It’s the behavior of the animal kingdom in general.  Out of the home, which for most of their lives has had it’s own system of beliefs and set of values, young people must make a way for themselves - by themselves.  As they get older (like ourselves) their minds will change (like ours did), primarily because of life’s experiences, which ultimately turns into wisdom.  

      Today’s youth is bombarded by so much technology that serves as instant gratification that there is no surprise as to why they think the way the do.  That’s something we older, wiser people have to remember.  In my own personal life, I just step up to the plate and hold my beliefs firm until I’m heard.  No one needs to agree, but with substantial proof as my foundation, the argument usually dies.  But it took years of training myself to be able to do that.

      I wonder if those who were discussing that the moon landing and 9/11 as fake incidents had actual proof as to the “fake-ness” of what they were saying.  Did anyone call them on it?  If there is no proof, it’s only rhetoric.  Young kids are just learning all about how to understand what it going on around them.  

      We are still here to guide them, and that’s what really counts.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Dear Yana,

      I do have the experience that you and Annie don’t. My older kids are 28 and 30 and my youngest is 20.

      In eight years, my middle child has gone from extreme to almost extreme in her behavior, level of responsibility and willingness to come to grips with her beliefs (political and spiritual). She has adopted some of my teaching, but not all, and she is back to college now with work experience under her belt. We have made it through a time of severe disagreement, which has now developed into a warm and caring friendship. I remember what I was like (I’m sure more rebellious than you, Dear Yana!) and realize that like some have already said, it goes with the “terrible 20’s” territory. They‘re just pushing the boundaries and bouncing ideas around. Unfortunately, what lies outside some boundaries is very dangerous in their world. I also agree that critical, discerning thinking is not taught in the “dumbed down” schools. Neither is respectful dissent condoned much of the time. This is one reason a sizeable homeschooling community (our grandchildren) has arisen.

      My oldest has always been solid, hardworking and respectful while enjoying his fun too. He is constantly thinking, probably over-thinking, not afraid to go against a majority of his friends as one of the few conservatives, and though they disagree sometimes, he is well-respected as a good, kind and caring human being.

      I’m still waiting for my 20-year-old to get through her time and praying that she will choose and do the right things eventually. It made me angry too for my older ones, and it makes me angry for her now, the things they are bombarded with...and it hurts to know they‘re being hurt. There are no guarantees in parenting. Our children do eventually have to act, make mistakes and learn from them or not; but since each of them was born, I’ve held on to the promise in scripture in the Book of Proverbs - “Train up a child in the way he should to; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • @sausan     “I wonder if those who were discussing that the moon landing and 9/11 as fake incidents had actual proof as to the "fake-ness" of what they were saying.”

      yes, Susan, my son did, and this is how this post came about, what I’ve heard from them as facts that they believed in was complete lunacy. They couldn’t debate the facts, they didn’t have a leg to stand on, that is what made me really angry. I can accept brainwashing, but at least give me some facts how you accepted this nonsense and give me one clue that would make sense for me to even give you the benefit of the doubt.

      @Anonymous There is NOTHING wrong with forming your own opinion, if you can back it up. However, if one yells that 9/11 was orchestrated by the President of the United States that person better have some solid facts to back it up, or you he will stand there looking like an idiot.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamra wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Anon, your point is exactly what many of us are saying.  The kids should process information and form their own opinion, not blindly follow what is being fed to them.  And listening to their peers is one important source of information.  If they aren’t listening to each other, they will miss out on a vital source of knowledge.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • For goodness sakes - conspiracy theories are always around. Of course they have no facts for it! They are just youngsters talking rubbish.
      Suggest you go and take wine, put your feet up and leave them to their immature conversations - they will grow up. No point getting angry. They could get angry with you for eavesdropping their conversation and at least they were spouting rubbish rather than talking about or doing drugs!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Should’ve blogged tongue out...scroll up



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Venus 7000 wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • College teaches us to think.  It teaches us to have an opinion.  It teaches us to be passionate about what we believe in.  I gotta tell ya, those were some of the best years of my life.  

      I loved a good debate.  And I was willing to argue either side of an issue.   And yes, in some of these informal debates, it mattered more who could shout the loudest than who had the most factually researched argument.  happy It was just fun.  

      In the end when all the shouting,  fact-twisting and name calling was done, it is all forgotten.  Because someone argues a point passionately, that does not mean he/she actually believes it.  It is often intended to provoke a response from others and get them involved.  

      Teens will be teens.  Invincible, narcissistic and eternally optimistic.  Eventually they grow up, take on responsibilities and discard of their rose coloured glasses.  Just give them time.

      ----------------
      BTW..I agree with Anonymous.  And I would have actually enjoyed listening in on the arguments.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Texaslinda wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Hey Yana,

      Great post. My children range in age from 33 down to 15 and I also have four grandchildren. While my children were/are living at home our rules seem to match yours, Mom and Dad have full disclosure with our kids, we want to know who, when, where, and why. We meet the parents before our kids go to parties, spend the night, go on group events, why, because we are the parents and it’s our desire to care enough to be involved.  

      I have been shocked when we call to speak to parents or drop by their house before an event and they tell us, “Thank you for calling/stopping by none of the other parents have, they just drop off their kids and go.” I guess we are a bit old-fashioned...

      My son’s friends love to come to the house because we are involved and available, we lay the ground rules of what is and is not accepted and the kids don’t seem to mind... they keep coming back.

      IMHO - as parents we are obligated to share our opinions, beliefs, and desires with our children to include faith and politics. If we don’t share what we believe then the only resources they have are outside opinions who may not have their best interests at heart.

      This topic is one near and dear to my heart, thanks again Yana for the post.

      Linda



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lori Daniell wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Very valid points that everyone makes on this important issue.  My opinion is that in that age demographic, it seems rather important, as if a right of passage, to jump on some band wagon.  In the 60’s it was Stop The War (albeit important) and Woodstock, Free Love.  

      In comparison, some kids that age do not even have the capability to engage in conversation utlizing words that have more than 1 syllable.  Which would you rather encounter?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Maria Louise Van Deuson wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • As women over 40, it is our responsibility to fix this crazy world. It is our job to teach our kids how to be civil, polite and respectful of others, especially their elders. Because if we don't, we will all be very lonely at our deathbeds.  

      I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, the comment that I would like to add is teaching ‘kindness.’ Kindness is indeed a rarity. Kindness is viewed by many to be weakness, and that is sad.

      Thank you Yana for sharing. You do echo many of our feelings, and it is our responsibilities to speak up when we hear young people acting the way those ‘kids’ were acting.

      Ultimately, remaining quiet is a form of condoning the behavior.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sausan wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Yes, conspiracy theories are always around!  There are even those that will debate the existence of the holocaust and other atrocities!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Fabandfifty wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Yanna - I signed up on this site a while back and haven’t done much with it.  I saw your subject “I’m angry” and something wouldn’t let me delete it, although everything was telling me to.  I’m glad I didn’t.
      I couldn’t agree with you more. I am one of those who didn’t have children. I tried out of the social obligation, but couldn’t, so here I am. I have adopted many nieces, nephews, friends children, etc.
      To the point - I agree that it’s not only the college students being brainwashed, it’s all of us. At least those who don’t really think for themselves. After all it’s much easier to let the media think for us. Who wants to take the time to really research a subject such as health care reform. It’s just much easier to let the media tell us what to think. The same held true with our past election. Let the media tell us who to vote for. I also get so peeved when I hear the media telling us about the approval ratings the president is getting. Who is running this country? It’s the *(%*)#$)( MEDIA!!!!
      I think if we could just pull our heads out of the sand, and begin to think for ourselves, this world would begin to turnaround. The media controls everything. We really should ask ourselves why this is. It’s really what we’ve evolved to. It’s the age of instant communication - smart phones, internet (although few really use it for a good purpose), texting, emailing, yes facebook, twitter, etc. etc. People want it now and they don’t want to wait or heaven forbid to do good old fashioned homework!!!
      With this being said, I agree - we need to bring it full circle back to the family values that most of us grew up with. I remember listening to broadcast of the first man walking on the moon on my transitor radio at summer camp. So I know it happened! I also remember Sunday family dinners, weekday family dinners - where we all sat together each night. T.V. could only be watched when dinner was done and all chores were complete. Programs were all rated G, so there was nothing for our parents to restrict us from watching!  There were no microwave ovens, dishwashers, and no computers! We spet time together, we were a family!  I truly feel sorry for kids today that have never experienced these values. No wonder we’ve seen so much tradegy ie; Columbine, etc., etc. Sadly the list goes on and on.... Just as I could go on and on, but I’ve said enough.

      I just ask that those who have relied on the media for education, to do their own homework. I honestly believe if more did this, then it would reduce the power the media currently holds.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Venus 7000 wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • “if they are just repeating things blindly with nothing to justify an argument or opinion they look stupid.”

      Oh come on!  This is a daily occurrence.  Everyone does it from time to time.  Most get away with it unchallenged!  These kids are not writing a thesis, they are having a friendly debate.  If they were required to submit a paper on the subject then yes, hard core facts would be required.  Give them a break.  

      I think its great that they were exercising their brain muscles doing something other than playing video games.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cori87 wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • Hi Yana,

      I’m still spinning in circles about the assertion that we didn’t go to the moon and that 911 was a hoax.  Independent of preference, stated political party or world view, how do we work to make sure we get the really big facts straight?  Wow wow wow...

      Thanks for your post - Cori



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachlaura wrote Oct 12, 2009
    • I just upgraded to the premium membership because I realize what an amazing group of women I’ve had the privilege to be a part of here at Fabulously40.  

      I haven’t been very active but I am so honored by the thoughtful and respectful and passionate responses of all of you. Thank you for being conscious, authentic, passionate, loving and open.  

      The issue is communication. If one is demeaning, judging and retaliating that is not communication. That is subjugation/manipulation/opression. I for one am in an endless inquiry of having more compassionate communication. I agree those of us who see the problem can be the root of the solution.  

      I invite us all to take on the quest and be the change we want to see. Model listening, invite self-expression, agree to disagree, treat everyone with reverence, learn from others. In fact, I have a dear friend who has all kinds of conspiracy theories. And though I may not be convinced of all that she is, I value new information to evaluate for myself.

      I believe when we can truly and purely listen, communication will happen and peace will be present.

      Thanks you precious women.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Oct 13, 2009
    • Great post Yana....I totally agree with everything you have said.  Most of you know that I’m pretty vocal on my conservative views...and I always will be.  But at home...I have never been that vocal with my boys but allowed them to form there own opinion.  Maybe they were listening when I thought they were not. Or maybe because everyone in my family except my niece’s husband...are all conservative Republicans.  I can’t ever really remember discussing major politics with my boys...maybe an issue or two.  I do know that my father kept my boys when they were little.  He was a conservative Republican...had a law degree but never practiced law.  He only went to learn everything about it.  Loved politics....so maybe he had an influence on my boys...I really do not know.  But...I know that my sons have an opinion that they formed themselves....and I am very proud of them.  

      But on the other hand...this young generation we are now seeing in our workforce...lacks face to face communication skills...thanks to email, Facebook,Twitter.. texting..etc.  It is so much easier to post a status...text a message...write an email..than to pick up the phone...write a letter..OMG...actually writing with a pen or pencil...or getting in your car...and visiting a relative. Where has all of that gone?  That is one thing my boys are lacking....and I can’t figure it out.  Great reminder for me..to start talking to them about this.

      Thanks again for a great blog.  Just an added note:  I’ve been angry about how so many have been shut down because they don’t agree...or been called a racist because they don’t agree.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Sickinger wrote Oct 13, 2009
    • Great post Yana! It is sad that kids now a days are fed opinions and not facts. Unfortunately, the same is true with adults. I try to stay involved politically, and it amazes me the number of people who will argue an issue with you, when they know nothing about it! They cannot provide any facts to back their beliefs, only stating them.
      How can kids be expected to be any different if the parents are so closed minded? I raised mine to be independent and think for themselves. I want them to find their own way and take their own stand in the world, but not without knowing what it is they believe in.
      As far as the race issue and President Obama, myself I did not vote for him and can honestly say that I would not still, however with him being the first man of color to take the White House, it is very easy for ignorant people to use the race card when they do not agree with his policies, and I also feel that it makes it easy for HIM to use it to defend himself....saying that it is BECAUSE of his race that the people do not back him and not because of his policies. I am not now nor have I ever been a racist and my not backing the President has nothing to with race...simply what he stands for and where I feel he is leading our country. Anyone who took over for Bush, would have a VERY difficult road and one that I would not want to walk, but I think he is listening to the wrong people. IMHO. And that opinion IS based on facts!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hamilton wrote Oct 13, 2009
    • Here’s my 2 cents:  Perhaps in public school there is a “norm” that teachers / instructors must follow, however, in college, it seems that the primary focus are the opinions of the instructor between which trickles the foundation for the class they are teaching, if, in fact, there is a foundation.  When I took a personal finance class, I was disgusted how I was told that the instructors way was the only way.  I was a young mother of three, working full time, trying to earn a degree.  The stuff I learned from his textbooks (I do mean HIS - he WROTE them, required we purchase them, and we were graded against them) was negligible.  

      Although I don’t agree with your statement that you are a controlling mom, I do agree that getting involved with your kids is the right thing to do.  Did you notice how your children stood up for those values you instilled in them?  Perhaps the parents of the other young adults that were there were not as active in their children’s lives as you, thereby allowing them to absorb the garbage of non-moon landings, orchestrated by Bush attacks, and did they mention that the holocaust was bogus as well?  If not, it may have been brought up in another conversation.

      I am not judging you or the kids.  I agree with your rant.  BS is BS no matter how prettily it is packaged.  If we raise up our children in the way they should go, they will turn back to it.

      peace.

      /e



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Fonti1 wrote Oct 13, 2009
    • Wow, I can see how you would be angry! However I have to disagree with what is being said! First I work at a college and have been a professor, now I am an adviser. Please don’t assume all professors instill their political opinion on students because we don’t, at least the good ones don’t. I am, also, working on a doctorate, and my research has led me to several conclusions. First we have done this to our children by codling them and making decisions for them, they fail to learn how to do it on their own. I see time and time again parents forcing kids into the career of the parents choice, telling their kids what classes to take etc. Telling this generation how special they are has set up the narcissism in them. They cannot be anything they want to be, their ability will limit them as well as their intellectual strengths and weaknesses.  

      With all this technology savvy ability we have failed to teach them how to properly use the internet and resources available to them. You can not Google everything, students today do not know the difference between a legitimate website with good information and a website that is a scam or right-wing(or left)propaganda. So instead of getting so wrapped up in our own lives and leaving students to text and twitter and facebook, and google their life away we need to work with them to teach them how to use the internet, and how to send an e-mail (that does not have a stupid e-mail address)that is professional and respectful. Manners and respecting others opinions should be taught in the home first, and reinforced at school, not taught at school!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Oct 13, 2009
    • Wow! This is a great post.... so many things that I agree with and a few that I don’t.
      I will say that I was raised to be very open minded and not judgemental and that is how I attempted to raise my girls. I was raised to think for myself and again what I have attempted to do with my girls.
      As far as being liberal or conservative I am neither but I am both. It depends on the issues. I will say that this past election was the 1st that both my daughters and my step son could vote in. I did encourage them to vote, that it was their responsibility, and a chance to have a voice like the rest of the adults. I also encouraged them to look at all different kinds of info to help base their decision. I encouraged them to ask people they knew that had an opinion. They knew what my choice was and why. But when they would say they were going to vote for someone I wanted to know why. As their parent and 1st person of influence it’s my responsibility to make sure they are objectively informed and understand the stand they are taking.
      I do believe that regions you live in are also deciding factors. As an Obama supporter I have never accused anyone of being racist for not agreeing. Shoot I am living in the middle of a racial divide. It’s all about personal choice and who you are more comfortable with on policy. All I can say is that I am American and this is a great country. One that allows us to have difference of opinions and not be shot down for it. I will always support what is right for me and my family. But after much research will that decision be made. I do the same with just about everything from paint to Drs to insurance (life, medical, car)to laundry soap. If it affects me then it’s up to me!



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