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I just finished talking with one of my husband’s former lawyers...I had to explain  to him that we need to be represented for my husband to stop paying child support.  His children are 18 and 19 and are both in college.
His original doc. states that he pay until they are 24 and still in college.
Now for a review. He and their mother were never married. He has payed child support for several years. He has paid weekly when the kids were at our house every other week.
She kicked Ryan out of her house 3 years ago in March because he wasn’t at her car after baseball practice when her clock said 5:00. The story goes on, but I won’t bore you. Anyway, he has lived with us since. However, my husband, who calls himself thrifty, but I have other words for it, acted like I didn’t know anything when I told him that he needed to go to the court and fill out the paper work with a change of circumstance. He never did it.
He has had to go back to court for so many things. We went one year so Ryan could play summer baseball. We had to go so the boys could be in Boy Scouts, etc., etc.!
He’s tired of paying lawyers. This I can understand, but I also believe in covering your ass!
This past year he found out that Collin wasn’t living with her. So, he quit paying her. I again said..you need to go to court and fill out the paper work and stop the support the right way. Once again, he didn’t listen!
So, talking to this former lawyer made me want to scream. He says that Dave should have done these steps....duh!
Now it’s going to cost so much more than it would have if he had done it the right way.
We originally thought we had a lawyer and she took another job and told us 3 days before court she couldn’t represent us.
They gave us two weeks to find a lawyer. I made an appt. with one. Gave them the information and we had to wait a week. Went to his office on Friday and he was HER lawyer.
I don’t know why they didn’t notice that they were representing her...So, back at square one.
I can’t find a lawyer that hasn’t represented the kids in the past or that does‘nt have a $750.00 retainer.
I have been on the phone for hours! UGH!
If my hubby had listened to me and not acted like I know nothing this would have been cheaper and easier.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • My husband’s “thrifty” too.

      I don’t know what it is with men but I know of many who just can’t stand the confrontation when it comes to their kids, child support and lawyers. I don’t if it’s guilt or something else.

      I’m sorry this responsibility seems to have fallen on your shoulders.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • He’s paid thousands and thousands in lawyer fees.  He’s tired.   I say make it end already!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Right. End it!!!

      Here's a case of a guy who is not disabled but is an idiot!

      I have a GF whose new BF never got a divorce from wife #1, but got another woman preg and moved in with that woman for several years, and had another kid with her. After that relationship ended he moved back with wife #1 because it was still his house. He still has not officially gotten divorced, is paying the mortgage for the house of wife #1, paying child support to the mother of the two kids, and letting wife #1 make all these demands on his $$. If he’d have taken the damn time to get a divorce or at least talk to a lawyer, this crap would not still be dragging.  

      Oh, why did he never get divorced when he knocked up the other woman? Because he didn’t want to marry baby mama, and if he was still married, he wouldn’t have to. Huh???

      And he sneaks out of the house to see my GF so wife #1 doesn’t get mad. Wha???? he already went off and had kids with some other chick!

      Sorry to digress, but the men in complicated situations not talking to lawyers is crazy.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Lou, that was funny!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Jomi - men run banks thats why they lose money - women save - men cut corners ...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Owlmaria wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • my prayers are w/ you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Your husband should find out how long his kids have lived elsewhere and ask for a refund of the child support he paid, when they weren’t even living with their mother.  A lawyer would probably jump on that scenario, and maybe you wouldn’t have to pay such a large retainer, but most lawyers won’t do anything unless you put down a 500 dollar retainer, unless it’s a lawsuit, then they get their money when the case settles.  If he has  grounds for a lawsuit against her, then chances are you won’t have to put down any retainer.  You can also get free advice usually over the phone from different lawyer offices prior to setting up an interview with one.  Good Luck, I understand your pain, as men rarely listen to our common sense, even though they usually lack it!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • thanks deanna..I made an appt. with one for him tomorrow.  It will be a 900.00 retainer.  All I can see is he can go talk to the lawyer!
      I will be going to my home town for funeral home calling hours.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Laura G. wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • I can relate to your problem, but the differences is my husband lets me run the show.
      so when it comes to paperwork or money he lets me handle it therefore the issue in under control until the child is 18. There is no reason for him to be paying child support so that his children can see him or come live with you. Once they are living with him he should not pay child support. Plus the kids can work now. You don’t need an attorney either. Do it yourself, fill out the paper work and speak to an attorney general officer. They should help. Let me know what happens.......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Feb 13, 2009
    • cutemom...we are going to trial.  She is now asking for money that she owes to a psychologist.
      She and her ex were taking the boys to “family” counseling and using my husbands insurance which pays 50%.
      I think she’s so used to living off others that she thinks money grows on trees.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Esther Bloom wrote Feb 13, 2009
    • Believe me I have a friend that sound like the ex wife and she never stops... Good luck to you and my prayers are with you. My friend thinks she deserves the money and has every right to it!!! She is a little wacky!!!!frownestaticestaticestatic



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