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Lately my boyfriend has really let himself go. I dont know why the lack of caring for himself,he wont tell me if anythings been on his mind. I would gladly be there for him but I also will let him handle his stuff himself if thats what he wants.
My problem is this. He has gained alot of weight and now he snores every night, Im lucky to sleep through the night twice a week and every morning about 4 I wake up to his snoring. He never snored before he gained all the weight.
I need to talk to him, Im getting bitchy cause I feel tired all the time, not to mention that Im getting a bit resentful and it comes out as me picking at everything he does. I dont like the way ive been but I dont know how to let him know this needs to change. How do you think you should tell someone something like this in a way that isnt mean.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 25, 2009
    • I’m sorry you‘re dealing with this, but we all go through identity crisis at some point in our lives and maybe this is something he is going through right now. Even if you’ve asked him over and over again what is bothering him and he says nothing, don’t give up on him, continue to be there for him, but us a different approach. Begin to tell him how much you appreciate him for whatever your reasons would be, tell him how important he is to you.
      You can also let him know that the changes you see in him are a little disturbing and you‘re very concerned about him and you‘re there for him and with him through whatever it is just ask him to open up to you because you care and love him dearly. Also speak to him about the nights you‘re up worrying during the times you can’t sleep hopefully he’ll open up to you. I wish you the best.happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mjmurphy wrote Jun 25, 2009
    • I’m with Niecy on trying a different approach...Men don’t like to talk about their feelings and rarely go to anyone for advice in solving problems. Also, he may benefit from going to the doctor about the snoring. He could be having breathing problems at night and may feel as exhausted as you are, having it checked out at a sleep clinic is probably a good idea. Hang in there.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janet Wooley wrote Jun 26, 2009
    • Reverse rolls here, what if you were the one that gained the weight and were snoring? How would you like to be told? Sometimes telling someone something is wrong w/them puts them on the defensive side. And sometimes nagging one about it just makes the problem worse. Do you have bikes? Plan a date and make it a workout that he is not aware of the fact that he is working out. Sometimes people eat for comfort watch his habits. But all in all we can not change another person only our selves, ask yourself this: what if this never changed, would I still love him? Most times in my case anyway I am the one that needs to change me, my attitude.Until a person is willing and ready to change it aint happening. Not a word spoken will change a thing.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Faye43 wrote Sep 1, 2009
    • My bf snores and I am a light sleeper so we rent a two bedroom apartment and sleep in separate rooms. Yes we still take care of business if you know what I mean. It is better first thing in the morning when you are refreshed than at the end of the day when you are too tired, excuse the digression I did not want to come off as a cold fish happy



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