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I moved in with my husband in 08 after dating for 1 year. I was renting an apartment and he was buying a house. We got married in 09. I got rid of a lot of my furniture, even though I felt my living room couch was much nicer than his. I also gave away a lot of my small kitchen appliances because he had the same items, except my blender because my son gave it to me for Christmas and it was nicer than what he had anyway. I combined our dishes and gave away things that we had extra. We selected colors for the living room and kitchen together and painted. We agreed that I would paint the hallway and he would paint the bathroom. He chose a nice yellow for the bathroom and I chose a melon color for the hall. Over the past few years things have worn out and had to be replaced. He found a new kitchen table and chairs online because I expressed that I didn’t really like the one he had. He also found a new couch and chair that we both liked, so we ended up replacing that furniture as well. As I look around the room in our living room there is an even distribution of his knick knacks and mine. Things we had before we got together and things we have bought in our travels. Twice now, he has made reference to me moving in and changing everything. Once in a heated argument and once the other night as we were talking. He said, “you just like to change everything.” and rolled his eyes. I asked him what he meant and he said he didn’t want to get into it. I do not believe that I have done anything wrong here. I love to decorate. I like to change things every now and again. I have always thought that people do this. They get married, and combine their stuff and re decorate. He acts like I was just supposed to move in and keep all his stuff and throw mine away. I haven’t changed everything. I just added some female touches. I have gotten rid of alot. I need to know if I am wrong or if my husband is being unreasonable?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jan 25, 2013
    • It sounds like he is being a little petty about this and it surprises that he cares that much about you changing the decor..the only thing my hub cares about is his “man cave” in the rec room, maybe my hub is unusual.

      If it were me in the situation, I would sit him down and speak gently but firmly about your plans and ask him what he wants to include and exclude..after that everything becomes moot..hope this helps.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nita P wrote Jan 25, 2013
    • yes do sit down and talk to him......his behaviour suggests the me, myself, i stage....where is the us, we, couple side to him.  he is controlling, likes to have the last say and likes it that way.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nathalie Girard wrote Jan 26, 2013
    • I don’t think anybody is being unreasonable, and definitly nobody is wrong. I think this is a miscommunication issue.

      Only one way to solve this: sit down and talk to him. Ask him if you changed something that he really liked without you knowing? Maybe you can have a room in the house where you do your thing and another where he does his thing? Many possible solutions, you just need to pick the one that suits both of you best.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jc2222 wrote Jan 30, 2013
    • Thanks Everyone.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jc2222 wrote Jul 19, 2013
    • Just an update on this. I did talk to my husband and he is just uncomfortable with change period but he said he was not unhappy with the way we have decorated the house. I am taking his word for that. We are repainting the bedroom and I took color samples home and we compromised on the color. I like colors that are vibrant and pop and he likes lighter color. It seems to have worked itself out.



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