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The Illusion of the Perfect Partner  

Perfection is an illusion that permeates across many facets of our lives. For some, it shows up in our quest for the perfect partner. Have you ever been in a love relationship where you were really happy, in love and thought your partner could do no wrong?  Then one day, your partner does something that rubs you the wrong way.  Soon after, he makes an insensitive remark.  

You start thinking, "Maybe there's a more perfect person for me." It's possible, but even if you think someone else is more perfect than your partner, that person has their limitations. It's a trade off. You trade one partner's faults for another partner's faults. Hindsight is 20/20 and many people leave a good relationship only to have regrets later on.  

The Grass Isn't Always Greener  

When a love relationship doesn't go our way, it seems easier to leave and start over with someone else.  When we continually approach relationships this way without looking at the role we play and taking responsibility for our side of the equation, the illusion that the grass is always greener elsewhere, perpetuates.  

The cycle of wandering into greener pastures eventually leads to the initial greenness wearing off.  This leaves you with the same cow, just different spots. For instance, say you leave to find someone exciting because you're bored in your relationship. Once the excitement and newness wears off, you're left with another boring relationship. If you're continually unfulfilled and bored in your relationships, it might be you.

It's You, Not Him  

When we're dissatisfied with whom we are and where we're at in life, we tend to project it onto our partner. In the instance above, think of the times when you've been bored with your partner. Was your life filled with passion and excitement at that time? Did you feel fulfilled with your own life? Or were you expecting that to come as a result of being with your partner?  

It's not your partner's responsibility to bring excitement and fulfillment to you. Knowing where you're bored in your own life gives you the opportunity to create excitement and fulfillment for yourself. When you feel excited and fulfilled on the inside, it shows up on the outside. And when it does, you'll notice that the grass is always green despite your partner's imperfections.  

What are your thoughts about the perfect partner and greener pastures?

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