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Earlier today we were talking about sons leaving home and empty nests. I ended with the statement that I was gonna take my car back.

   Well I’ve done it. And I feel awful. So now the college student takes the car with him. And the worker stops working, should I feel like a heel, here are the facts.
This son is 21,he is pursuing a career in music/rapping, before I let him use the car, he had no job and wasn’t looking for one, but I wasn’t going to keep giving him money that he could never pay back. So he got a job just to fund his music endeavors and he has done something towards that. He has no hangups about quitting a real job,so should I feel bad now that he’s not going to be working?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Nov 29, 2008
    • I have a co-worker that refuses to use tough love on her (only) daughter. The daughter is 25, divorced, 2 kids, different fathers, both unemployed, no child support...yada,yada,yada....she is sucking the life and financial resources out of her parents and they are enabling her by not making her grow up and depend on herself. The woman has had a radical personality change in the last 4 years and it has not been for the better. I understand the nurturing instinct but this situation is not good for either of them.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Nov 29, 2008
    • Teeky3,

         The 21yoa does not live with me, reason being that when he got out of the Navy (too early) to pursue his music career I told him he couldn’t live with me if he had no real job.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Felicia Lewis wrote Nov 29, 2008
    • Teeky, I feel you. That’s how  we raised our children...tough love. None of them live with us because they no the deal.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Nov 29, 2008
    • Kids, Kids, what is it.  This generation is truly trying to drive us crazy.  

      47intired, you and Teeky, did give me some really good advice when I was dealing with my son's sudden departure from our home.  Thanks to everyone again.  However, Teeky is right, he is 21 and at 21, we are no longer legally  , responsible for our kids.  Now that does not take away our motherly instincts and the love, care and concern that we will take with us until the end.  In the eyes of the law he is now legally a man, and a man must take care of his own.  You actions are not spiteful, you are actually allowing him to grown into his own and become what you have thought him to be.  He will one day thank you for it.  If he is truly serious about what he is pursuing, this will give him the opportunity to do what he has to do and get it going on.

      Tough love sometimes is what we have to use and most times it is the most effective.



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