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I'm terrified and happy at the same time.  I have just gotten my eating habits under control so I'm praying that I can continue to remember to eat my small meals as the day progresses.  In the past I would get caught up in whatever clinical trail I was managing and lunch would just be forgotten.  I'm packing my lunch this evening and bringing veggies galore and even some chicken noodle soup just for good measure.  My days of eating out are on hold since it tastes yucky.  I don't see the use of paying for food that brings me no pleasure to eat.  I still don't know what I'm going to wear since all of my size 8 clothes don't fit.  I'm just going to wear a big beautiful belt around my favorite dress jeans and a white collar shirt.  That should do it.  I plan on taking lots of pictures which I'll post.  I'm sure I'll start crying before the morning is over.  Well its time to soak in my bubbles and calm my nerves.  Wish me luck.
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Saturday, November 22, 2008

Well I lived through my first day back to work.  I was so nervous I forgot the camera so I have no pictures.  Nothing out of the ordinary happened except I was so nervous I forgot to eat my small meals throughout the day.  I know that was not a smart thing to do.  I did drink a glass of green tea around noon along with some celery sticks.  That was the best I could do under the circumstances.  I was told not to worry about jumping in right away and to just relax and read my emails and see whats whats.  So I did just that and found that it is amazing how quickly the mind remembers old habits.  I woke up around 5am to work out.  Call me crazy but this was my routine before I got sick so I said what the hell lets start this day off right.  I felt ok and wanted to push the envelope and see how much I could take.  I'm not one to sit on the Anyway I did my Tony Little Gazelle exercise machine for 15 minutes and then topped it off with 50 sit-up's.  I jumped in the shower got dressed and was in my car by 6:15am heading out to work.  I put on my fuzz buster and hit the petal to the metal.  I did go over the speed limit at least once during my drive.  Please forgive me but I drive a 5 speed and I love pretending I'm in the Indy 500 and about the cross the finish line.  I arrived around 7:20 am to a wonderfully dark hallway.  I love being the first person to arrive at work.  I took pity on the caffeine drinkers and make four pots of coffee and a pot of hot water for tea.  I sat in my office staring out the window for about 15 minutes before folks started arriving.  As expected everyone cried, we hugged, and I watered down the story of my health pitfalls.  I did not see the purpose of upsetting anyone or having them worry about me for one second more than necessary.  Besides, I was back at work so that is the most important thing.  By the time 4:30pm rolled around I was so tired I could barely keep my head up.  I managed to drive home and found my hubby waiting for me outside with a bouquet of flowers and some soup.  He made me dinner and then put me to bed.  I tried telling him I had to get online to let my fab40 ladies know I was ok but he rubbed my back and before I knew it the sun was shinning on my face and I was greeted by a beautiful Saturday morning.  Today I accompanied my hubby to Winston Salem, NC to inspect 4 properties for a mortgage company.  We had to inspect the homes and give them bids to get the property in selling condition.  I am actually just getting home and needed my fab40 fix before I went to bed. Now I feel complete.  I'm going to enjoy reading some blogs.  Maybe comment on some topics if I can get my mind to think clearly and then I am going to bed.  I don't want to miss my sunrise Church service because I overslept.
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