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Ok girls, I’ve decided that one of these days I’m going to go on vacation.  LOL!  Not really, but this is my little fantasy.

On this vacation I’m going to do every stupid miserable rude things that our customers do to us.  We built this fantasy at work yesterday.  

For starters, I’m going to wear a stained gray tshirt and jogging short with my fat neon white legs, then I’m not going to shower for my whole vacation.

I’m going to show up 15 minutes before restaurants open for breakfast and rattle the doors and peer in the windows.

Then later in the day, I’ll find 10 friends are even strangers if I have to and two minutes before closing time, we will traipse in and order an extensive meal.

I will let my husband wear gym socks and flip flops together and I will complain loudly if he does not get an AARP discount.

I’m going to go to the south and complain when places don’t have unsweetened tea.

I’m going to drive a big motorhome and take up two traffic lanes and when I park, I will use six parking spaces as near the door as I can possibly get.

And, the thing I most look forward to on this epicurian based vacation is walking into a restaurant and sitting down and ordering four things that aren’t even on the menu.  

Yeah, it’s that time of year where I want to throw knives at customers.

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