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Let me put it all out there.  

I just “retired” from doing a job I realized (too late?) I hated.  Twenty years of being unhappy was simply long enough.  I’m 42 and done with that part of my life.  It could be argued, and rightfully so, that I have horrid timing—with the economy being in the crapper and all—not having an income right now is a bit rough.  

I also have no real plan.  Ideas, yes, but no real plan of what to do next.  I have a supportive husband, Gavin, who says, “take your time, baby” which is a huge relief and a great source of comfort.  Beyond that, nada.

Friends tell me, “stop thinking and start feeling” or, “it will come to you” or, “don’t let this get too heavy and intense” but I’m not sure what to do with all of this.

I like the David Bowie/Madonna concept of morphing and constantly changing.  I’m just a bit chicken-shit about making these changes since, um, change is hard.  

I  am  trying.  Some days I feel I’m making progress and other days I think this is all crap.  I do have hope I will come out on the other side of the tunnel.  

Today I’m venting.  Tomorrow will include progress and a semblance of a plan.  I have faith in this.  I think.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Nov 18, 2008
    • Stella, Teeky is so right, we have more strength than we give ourselves credit for.  Change is not hard, as humans we just become apprehensive to the unknown and it scares the dickens out of us.  Best way to approach this is to do it in increments a little bit at a time.  Remember when you get to the end of the rope, you don’t let go, you tie a knot and HOLD ON.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stellababette wrote Nov 18, 2008
    • Huge, gigantic thank you for what you wrote!  Yes, I can go through this and it really does make a difference having women out there who can say “go girl!” and mean it.  One day at a time and I will keep writing.  Hope you keep reading!  Thanks again.

      Stella



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stellababette wrote Nov 18, 2008
    • Hi there,
      Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I needed this today.  Yes, I will get through this, and yes, I will tie a knot at the bottom of my rope and hold on.  I’m going to be fine.  

      Thanks again.  I mean that.

      Stella



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Nov 18, 2008
    • I, also, am going through numerous changes at this time...divorce (FYI I sort have a boyfriend now thru Eharmony!), leaving a job I was at since 1981, potentially losing my house and making a move...possibly a move across the country...etc...but one of my lifelines is right here with this group of wonderful women friends and supporters. Keep your head held high and put one foot in front of the other...you will persevere.



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