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All things considered I regard myself to be pretty frugal.    I am always ready to take advantage of a bargain,  I can never, ever  be swayed by peddlers and vendors or telemarketers selling wonder products, and I will penny pinch on the smallest of items, be it a stick of bubble gum or a tube of toothpaste.   In sum I will not buy it if I do not NEED it.  

My problem though is that very often tis the oddest of things that I find myself needing.  Usually these needs are not extravagant or prohibitive, but once they have been established in my head as a bona fide need they can become obsessive and very difficult to let go. Case in point, the bronze lipstick with tiny shimmers I saw in the department store a few months back.  I can't for the life of me imagine where I would wear such a thing, but for some reason I saw this as the missing item on my dresser and even when I persuaded myself to leave it behind I was so haunted by this need that I returned the very next day  to purchase this must have item.   Needless to say, I have never used the thing and cannot imagine why anyone else would either.  But for a tiny moment – point of purchase, or perhaps the moment of reveal on arriving home  – having this item made me so inexplicably happy.  

And so it is that every weekend as a part of Saturday routine I visit some of my favorite boutiques and department stores to see the most recent arrivals, admire the gowns and formal wear, and review the items on sale.   Every week I arrive at home with a small package containing a needed item (or two) that I could not leave behind.  Without any real control mechanism (complaining husband, or screaming bank) these little trysts of mine have been allowed to continue unchecked.    

But so what,  I tell myself, these excursions provide me something to look forward to  on the weekends and as long as I control the amounts spent, it will never be enough to put me in the poor house.  (I have set an upper limit on weekly spendings and Credit Cards  are never used for this purpose).

But lately, I have found that my needs are becoming increasingly ambitious.  

It started a few months ago when I begun having these pulses in the back of my mind telling me that I needed a new car.   Why? I wonder.  The one I have is perfectly fine,  Its handsome, stately, problem free  and gives better mileage that many of the newer models on the market.   Hoping to bring some balance to the issue, I mention the possibility of a new car to my teenage son.    With eyes all alit he ventured that "we" should either get a BMW or a Volvo.  He then volunteered (yep you heard me, volunteered)  to research the merits of both models and bring some more options to the table). No discussion as to need was required with this person.   So I called my brother.   The self proclaimed guardian of the clan and a person of higher reason.   After I listened to him rant for 20 minutes on the state of the economy, the merits of setting aside funds and the concept of "need"  I got the picture.  Right I said to myself as I gracefully backed away from the car issue.   Thanks for that bro, but I must go now before the shops close.  I have to get myself a new leather tote for work.  Heavens knows I really need it as the present one is looking rather ragged.

But worse, there are occasionally those needs that are just doggone irrational.

Just this past Saturday, for instance, while doing errands I ran into my cousin with her beautiful baby daughter.  As I held the little angel and took in the soft baby scents I again felt a tugging at the back of my mind (or maybe it was my ovaries) telling me odd things that I was not prepared to hear.   And why not, I thought, I already have two boys, what I really need is a daughter.    These thoughts continued to churn as I collected my dry-cleaning and completed my errands.  

But then as I entered my first boutique of the day and engrossed myself in the small luxuries of the moment my focus returned.   And in that moment the budding need that had clouded my mind earlier, (the one that would inextricably bond me for the next 18 years should I be bold enough to follow through)  dissipated.  And as it faded it was replaced by the small material things, (shiny, exquisite, fitting) that I know can always be relied on to impart moments of instant pleasure.  

(Note to self.. see Gyn about some more reliable/irreversible options!)



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Oct 6, 2009
    • Hmmmm.... should I laugh  or offer advice? I think I will chuckle for now....estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Oct 6, 2009
    • Just last night or perhaps early morning I stumbled upon a website of prescious babies photographed in the most adorable poses...and I began having these longings of wanting another baby...I enjoyed being pregnant and feeling life growing and moving inside of me...but snap back to reality, factory is shut down, for that matter so is the playground...so all I can do is wait for grandbabies...sheesh I wish my oldest would hurry up mature enough to be a daddy, find himself a nice girl and start making babies for me to spoil...and of course return.estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Venus 7000 wrote Oct 6, 2009
    • LOL Vikki,  I am actually quite good and don’t go overboard.  But occasionally, just occasionally, things get a bit skewed.

      Lola, I am with you.  I cant wait for grandchildren.  And heaven forbid I should ever have a granddaughter.  I would just spoil her to pieces.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Oct 6, 2009
    • ditto venus.....estatic



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