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I’d like some feedback on this please. I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive or if others would feel the same way about something that occured at my home yesterday evening.

My husband, who is the Headmaster of a somewhat prestigious college prep school, invited the entire senior class over to our home yesterday evening. They all dressed up, enjoyed beverages and food, and interracted with a few of our board members who were in attendance. The party was outside in our yard but I had the door to our sunroom open in case anyone needed a bathroom.

I saw kids trailing back and forth from the sunroom to the back bedroom  where the bathroom is located which was what I expected. But toward the end of the evening I went into my kitchen to put something away and saw that my bins of chocolates had been opened and many of them were gone. The little cups the chocolates sit in were just laying there empty.

The first person I went to was my husband and asked him if he, by chance, had eaten several chocolates. He said no. I then brought him to the kitchen and showed him the empty cups. I didn’t make a scene. I just told him that this upset me.

His reaction was to get irritated - at me. “What do you want me to do about it? Just stop the whole thing and make everyone go home.” Not the empathetic response I was looking for. He completely negated the hurt I felt that these “nice kids” would do this.

I bring home bins of chocolates and keep them in my kitchen, air conditioned to 68 degrees, so they will be safe and fresh when I have orders that need to be boxed up. I don’t leave chocolates in my commercial kitchen because I share it with a baker and the kitchen gets very hot. These chocolates were in commercial bins with tight fitting lids, stacked up with packing material on top so they were not easily accessable. These kids all know what I do for a living and these were not “home made candies” but very fancy high end European truffles.

So my question is, am I being over sensitive and should just shrug my shoulders with a “kids will be kids?” And what about my husband’s reaction? How would you feel?

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 20, 2010
    • Not everyone here knows what I do for work, so here’s the kind of chocolates these kids ate



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denis B wrote May 20, 2010
    • To be honest, you have full right to be upset. How old were those kids and where were their manners? worried



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote May 20, 2010
    • I don’t think you are being overly insensitive...you have a right to be upset...I know I would be...As you stated that is your work and everyone should respect that.



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote May 20, 2010
    • I would not only be upset but royally pissed off.

      Unfortunately many kids lack manners, the fault is completely their parents, but that doesn’t help “us” in situations like this one.

      When my kids were younger I have thrown kids out of my house if they came in without introducing themselves, or if they would just make themselves at home in my fridge without asking permission. The lack of manners and the lack of respect for authority always amazed me, so my kids learned to “prep” their friends prior to coming to my house. Later we would laugh how everyone new practically bows when they come in, but that’s how I was raised, this is how I raised my kids, and if they are going to hang out in my house they better know the rules.

      Joe probably was irritable, because he took it personally, in his mind he was saying “DID I NOT TEACH THEM ANYTHING?“, and being a man he just couldn’t turn around and show his frustration at them.

      Next time I think he’ll prep them, and you my dear, keep your chocolates away from everyone, or send them to me for safe keeping.  

      Now take a deep breath, and let it go....since there is really nothing you can do about it now.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote May 20, 2010
    • Chocolatier, you have "EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED OFF TO THE HIGHEST OF PISSITIVY!!!" sorry but if it were me either the hubby or the kiddies would chalk up the money to replace all they ate your hard work went into it and they should be made to pay. I also tell him to enever expect me to want to host those bad a** kids in my home ever again and if he can't understand he can kick rock too!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote May 20, 2010
    • Cynthia kids will be kids but it is your home and the event was held outside. So it sounded like they had to go thru a lot to get to them. So obviously they are lacking some manners and possibly respect. So hell yeah you should be upset at them and at Joe.
      I don’t think you are being too sensitive at all. The fact that your generosity was taken advantage of is one thing but the expense of your product is another too.

      Breathe thru it, shake it off and put some rigid rules into place before the next time.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 20, 2010
    • The expense issue is a tough one for me. The chocolates were left from what I did for a wedding. They were made with Valrhona chocolate - $75 for a 6 pound bag wholesale price. It was probably about $25.00 worth of ingredients - my labor is pricelessestatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote May 20, 2010
    • I agree with the ladies here.. Those kids showed no respect towards you and your kindness.. YES!! I would be pissed off too.. I don’t think I would host another event if there’s a possiblity that it MIGHT happen again.. What if your hubby was in your situation???
      I’m so sorry that you went thru this..

        (((LOTS OF HUGZ)))



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote May 20, 2010
    • Cynthia I would be pissed off too.

      How would Joe feel if the roles had been reversed and it was his work they had eaten and gone through ?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jbrwn65 wrote May 20, 2010
    • Dear Cynthia,

      When I was 17, I knew better than to eat chocolates at a stranger’s home that were clearly packed away. It bugs me when people unfairly take advantage of another’s hard work. You are not being “oversensitive“, but righteously angry!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote May 20, 2010
    • I would be upset initially as well, but shrug it off as a learning experience. Next year, just relabel the boxes something obnoxious such as rice,prunes, tampons or pads. Use your creativity and I am sure that those boys will go running!!!estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 20, 2010
    • Max LOL!heart Good one.

      Thanks for all the feed back, Ladies. I do appreciate it. And, I, too knew at 17 not to get into other people’s stuff.  

      Thanks for all the comments. Much appreciated.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cristina Corral wrote May 20, 2010
    • How dare they!  The nerve of someone opening ANYTHING of yours! Your husband should have been more protective by saying something to the kids or to everyone!

      People take advantage of the fact that you have all of the ingredients to make your own items so it must not cost that much OR it won’t hurt you because you can make them again!

      I have had family members do that to me.  They come into my lab and take from a batch of product without even asking?  By then, the damage is done, because I can no longer use the product!

      People are insensitve to our hard work and you are correct, it is PRICELESS!

      Please tell your husband how upset you are not only with the kids actions but with his or lack thereof!

      I’m sorry.frown



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote May 20, 2010
    • You have every right to be pissed and I would think that Joe would be upset on your behalf too.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Brown wrote May 20, 2010
    • I would be pissed as well. Not only for the chocolate, but they should not have been snooping. Makes me wonder what else they helped themselves to.  17 is old enough to know that could be considered as stealing....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote May 20, 2010
    • Are these kids? You said senior class In college? Obviously they knew what they were doing whoever It was. I would have been pretty upset and especially upset at my husband for not being more sensitive about the problem.frownheartbreak Did you know he was bringing all this class to the house? or did he just show up with them?

      Any how next time If there Is a next time, have some chocolates In the same Bin but add laxatives to them and then you will know who It was who ate your chocolates...LOLestaticohhhh



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wookiemom09 wrote May 20, 2010
    • How would your hubby feel if a student walked into his office, picked up papers and just walked off.  Yes your chocolates are worth stealing (so delicious) but asking is not wrong.  He was probably embarrassed and frustration they were so immature to steal from his home.  What else could they have taken that you don’t know about?



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Coralee Flug wrote May 21, 2010
    • Not an over reaction at all, I am guessing your hubby may have been a little embarrassed and defense went up for his reaction. I agree with Yana so many kids just do not have any manners..

      Hope you can dust off and make it a good day that you have not lost to much time.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Veggie wrote May 21, 2010
    • I agree your husband was probably embarrassed and felt torn between you and the kids.  You confronting him put him into an emotional panic.

      BUT, you should be first on his list!  Yes, the kids are his means of making his living but his reaction was insensitive to your needs.  Not a really good choice of words.

      You felt violated and rightly so!

      Forgive your husband and the kids - for yourself.

      Me being me, I would not let it go as far as hubby goes, though.  Any one of us can react improperly initially , but when we effect another, we need to later sit back and make things right.

      Let him know that you understand the position he must have felt he was in at that moment, but his reaction made you feel unimportant on his priority list and you do not like feeling that.

      Now that the situation has passed and no you didn't expect him to tell everyone to leave , how is he feeling about it now... without defense, justification and as someone else mentioned, if the shoe was on the other foot what reaction would he have appreciated from you?

      How would he have felt and reacted if something equally important to him was violated by someone you had in the house and you reacted to him in a similar way?

      It’s not usually easy, but for yourself, forgive him and them.

      I totally believe in what goes around comes around - not necessarily in an ‘evil’ way.  Each & every one that was involved in the stealing and even hubby’s reaction will come back to them and this situation will pop into their little heads as a reminder of their wrong doing.  Hopefully they’ll see the lesson that needs to be learned.  If not, the lesson will continue to present itself until it is learned.

      You don’t need to do anything but let it go and share with him your feelings.

      heartheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote May 21, 2010
    • Cynthia, sorry to hear this happened, and you have every right to be mad..this was a violation of your work and if it was boxed, that means “not open to public“..Joe’s reaction is typical of most men, their poor little feelings get hurt when put in a situation and they respond that way..I like Max’s idea, put a label on it!estaticestaticheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote May 21, 2010
    • Yes I would be upset!
      I am very sorry this happened to you. I understand you work very hard and the results are beautiful! I’ve yet to sample happy

      Frannie as usually you crack me up.



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