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I’ve worked for the same company for 9 years.  I’ve clawed my way to the top and am now upper management.  In 9 years I’ve gone from a support role to running the operations for a Division of a Fortune 100 Company.  To say I’m impressed with myself is an understatement, as I’ve done well and I’m very proud of that fact.  Dang - I hope I don’t throw my shoulder out patting myself on the back!  I’m sounding just a tad bit cocky now, aren’t I?

Now - here’s the glitch.  My industry is real estate.  Homebuilding, to be precise.  I’ve watched my Company go from one of the most profitable companies in a very competitive industry to losing hundreds of millions of dollars each quarter.  As such, I’ve watched my work load increase while my income decreases.  Yes, when things were good I was well rewarded.  I’ve hung on so far through the bad times but have reached the point where I just can’t hold on any longer.

With every layoff comes more work for me.  I’m getting tired and starting to feel like the stress is turning toxic within me.  I’ve always managed day to day stress pretty well, and for the most part I can usually deal with it.  However - now it’s making me sick.  If there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it’s a train headed right for me!

I don’t know what else to do, though. I don’t know if any other industry or Company would pay me what I’m making now. I love the power and prestige of my current job and position and am scared to try to find that somewhere else.  It might be easy to say “there’s more to life than money“.  While I agree in that concept, I also am the sole support for a husband and two kids.  We can’t afford for my income to take more of a hit.

And where would I go?  Where do my passions lie?  I heard recently that “the daughter of God doesn’t settle“.  Wow - what a powerful statement.  But I just don’t know what God would have me do at this point.  I pray that God will give me guidance and help me understand what my next step will be.  How do I find the right place and position?

My next step is to prepare a resume.  Maybe have it professionally prepared, I don’t know.  I guess I need to get it out there and see what happens.  Are my skilss transferable?  Will anyone else find the same value in me that my current Company has?  How can I start a blog sounding so cocky and sure of myself and end it wondering if I am even employable at all?

GRRRRRR....I hate this uncertainty within myself.  I hate this lack of confidence.  I hate the self doubt.  Come on, self.  Get it together!!


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