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Remember that episode on Oprah  where Dr. Neuman  announced, "if your husband is cheating  it's entirely your fault?"  Remember how outraged we all were and how many women logged in to post their comments and voice their opinions? It even looked like Oprah almost fell off her chair when he made that statement.  I don't think she would have had him on the show if she knew that he was going to make such an announcement.  

Unfortunately, while many women across America spoke out, just as many sat home and believed the guy. Many women, and not just women over forty believe that if their husband fell out of love with them they are to blame.

We live in a society that dictates our weight, fashion, and our latest cosmetic procedures that we just cannot live without. Women over forty are now under the pressure to look thirty, WHY?, because media says so. Forties are the new thirties and if you looked in the mirror this morning and didn't see yourself as a thirty year old, chances are your husband doesn't love you. What a bunch of non-sense?  

Sure life is complicated. We live in the information age where it's hard to stay on top of everything that goes on everyday without skipping a beat. We are wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, and being overwhelmed comes with the territory. We sometime run on low fuel, forgetting to take care of our selves, and forgetting to look in that mirror and remind ourselves of the awesome job we are doing.

Valentines is around the corner.  When I sat down to write this article I thought of  writing the fun things you can do with the men you love, but my fingers took over and my mind went completely in the opposite direction- something that has been happening more often lately.  

sex, kiss , husband

I have a different message to all of you. If you have been married for a long time, and feel that sparks have disappeared into the past, it's time to figure out how to reignite them. It takes two to tango, it could not have been all your fault. Now is the perfect time to walk down memory lane and find out why your husband fell in love with you and vise versa. You might be twenty years older, and twenty pounds heavier, but you are still that girl he married and fell in love with. Now is also a good time to remind him why you fell in love with him, the qualities that he had that became non-existent as the years flew by.  Communication is the key. We are not mind readers and our men usually have no clue what we want, unless we tell them over and over again.

I'm not a physiologist, nor am I am marriage counselor, but I do know that men and women respond to positive energy, to happy people. Men flirt with women that are confident, sassy and strong.  I remember one woman who's husband divorced her for a girl twenty years younger. She said to me: "Looking and feeling good is my biggest revenge. My ex husband wishes he could have me back, instead I'm now married to a man that adores me, AND I look and feel fantastic."

Believe it or not, focusing on yourself more can actually be one of the best ways to make your husband fall back in love with you.  

If you are recently divorced don't be sad, embrace your new you. You are old enough to know what you want, and young enough to do something about it. If it is that body you always wanted, a diploma you never got, or that trip you dreamed of but put it off until it was the right time, the right time is NOW.

Embrace your new you and watch those men turn heads.

Happy Valentine's Girlfriends!

How about a Contest or Two?

So I could think of two different ones, take your pic and Good Luck!!!!!

Perfect Valentines Day Date Contest

 

Post a story 250 words max of your Perfect Valentines Day Date. Give as many details as possible. You will be judged based on creativity and romanticism.

The Best Valentines Cake Contest

Post a recipe along with the picture and the nutritional value. The best looking cake with the least amount of calories wins.

One winner per contest, the winner will receive either the Nights In Rodanthe DVD
OR
The sound track, He's Just Not That Into You 

Post your entries below:



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Just for fun: I need only two words “GET OUT”

      I will be back with a better attitude, promised!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • LOL! Chinadoll......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • This is the cake I made for my family last year for Valentine’s.  It isn’t even remotely low cal.  It was a white cake mix with buttercream frosting between the layers.  Buttercream frosting covered with fondant.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Tulip: That was sooooooooooooo pretty!  I feel hungry even consider I had no appetite lately.  That rocks me!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • WOW Tuliplady, that’s beautiful where is the recipe?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shopgirl1960 wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Holy Cow Tulip... that is GORGEOUS!!! I am impressed!

      And shhhhhhh...low cal right ? Hee Hee



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Anything that beautiful must be healthy.... STUNNING!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • That cake is positively beautiful, Tulip. Are you a pastry chef? WELL DONE! Low cal-Schmo cal! I’d eat it regardless!
      Is the recipe available?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Paris Mano wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • That cake is beautiful. It is too pretty to eat!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Come on girls, where are your submissions?????

      Only few days left until we announce the winner NOW IS THE TIME.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rystmom wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Oh tulip how beautiful! How could you ever cut into it?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Onevision wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • TULIP! That cake is amazing, you are so talented!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Let me start by saying that my husband who I’ve been married to for 22 years June 6, treats me as if it were Valentines day every day.
      He brings me breakfast and coffee to my bed every morning without missing a beat.
      He still opens the car door for me when we go out.
      He has always and still does leave me little love notes at least once a week.
      He calls and leaves sweet messages on the answering machine. He has even called several times and sang, You are so beautiful, and I just called to say I love you. Imagine checking that message on speaker phone at work.
      It would take days to tell you about all the wonderful things my husband does for me and our children.
      He is the most amazing man I know. Even on my worst days when I know I look like crap, he always tell me how beautiful I am.
      So you see why I can’t just tell you about Valentines day, every day is Valentines day for me. I love him very much and he still lights my fire and I believe I still light his also.
      Happy Valentines Day



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marybeth Pitner wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • OMG that cake looks delicious!!!  I want that recipe...
      Who cares about calories with that!! YUMMY



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Recipe is on the side of the cake mix box.  Nothing special.

      Buttercream frosting is 1 cup butter, 1 bag powdered sugar and enough cream to make it frosting and some Watkins vanilla.

      Fondant is available most anywhere cake decorating supplies are sold, although this was homemade which is a pain in the butt.

      And yes, it was kinda hard to cut into it after all the work I put into it.  But, it was last year when our daughter was going thru the messy bits of her divorce and spending a lot of time with us, so I made her favorite.  White cake.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dennie05 wrote Feb 11, 2009
    • LC..you are a very lucky woman!!!  Do you think you could have your husband write a blog to share with our husbands...what women REALLY want.  

      As far as the cake....you are very talented.  It must be a passion of yours.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Feb 11, 2009
    • Dennie, believe me, I remind myself everyday how very blessed I am. I pay close attention not to take his good heart for granted.

      The cake looks beautiful, almost too pretty to eat. But I bet it taste just as good as it looks.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Desi~lu wrote Feb 11, 2009
    • Perfect Valentines Day Date ~

      My husband is so totally amazing to me.  We spent our very first Valentines together last year and it was the most perfect date I could of ever asked for.  Sad that I had to hit my forties before being treated like a princess.

      The day started off with a dozen red roses and a cup of coffee brought right to the bedroom, followed by a very romantic card that he had wrote such sweet nothings to me.  He bought me a stuffed ape with a heart with wording that said “Our First Valentine“.  Tucked inside of the heart was a jewelry box with sapphire earrings (my birth stone) inside.  I also got a box of my favorite chocolate. Ferro Rocher Hazel Nut Chocolates.  I was so overwhelmed because I’m used to getting absolutely nothing in the past.

      My sweety had to work that day, but e-mailed me a beautiful e-mail from work, very romantic, plus he called just to say he loved me as well.

      That evening he took me out to a resturant here in town called MoMo’s, opening and shutting the car door all the way, along with the resturant door.  To finish the evening off he took me out for icecream.  Talk about being spoiled.  I loved every minute of it.  He is already in the process of making this Valentines just as romantic.  He told me to plan on a wonderful evening and that’s all he’s telling me.  Boy I love my husband, he is the kindest person I have ever met.

      Desiree’



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Feb 11, 2009
    • Desi, that is so sweet! You must be very excited about his plans for this Valentines Day.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Donna08 wrote Feb 11, 2009
    • First of all Tulip, that cake looks absolutely wonderful!  Who cares about calories with that cake....untilt he next day of course!lol!

      Yana, nice blog. It’s been a while and I’m glad I stopped by and see such wonderful activities going on! I’m trying to catch up!

      As for Valentines day, my hubby is a wonderful guy, but when it comes to planning, he leaves it all up to me and I’m kind of bummed out from doing all the planning all of the time, and I’ve told him this too many times!  

      Now were I to dream up a Valentine’s day wish....it would be..

      We would both take the day off but the kids would still go to school for their day.

      He cooks me breakfast, then we spend the morning together talking and making love.  

      We go out somewhere for lunch, I love Macaroni Grill’s Lean Bellini drink - yum!  Which would then be preceded by a wonderful lunch.

      I love to window shop, or stopping somewhere to surprise me with a choice of scented candles or lingerie purchase at one of the stores nearby! Im not too fussy!

      Then we would return home to cook dinner together and await the arrival of our kids coming home.  

      We would retire for the night watching a great movie and having more intimate moments!

      Nothing too grand, because it would have to fit into our day!  Now were we on vacation somewhere....dum da dum dum!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Feb 12, 2009
    • that cake is amazing.estatic
      fixed my post as did it wrong! lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Feb 12, 2009
    • My perfect Valentines Day would be spent with all of my family and friends back in Chicago that I miss so much! Of course my husband & kids would be there with me also. Talking on the phone is nice but to be able to sit and look them in the face & listen to their stories of all that has gone on in the past year since I’ve been there would be priceless! Valentines Day for me is not just a day to spend romantically with my husband, but a day to show everyone special in my life just how much I love them. I don’t need candy or flowers, just your time, laughter, and love.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shopgirl1960 wrote Feb 13, 2009
    • I stood in front of the window gazing at the field. It was Valentine’s Day and it felt different than any other. A warmth filled my body as I recalled the last  picture that he had sent to me. He was even more handsome in this picture than the last one as he stood upon Mount Hood preparing to ski.His cheeks were slightly red from the cold, and his eyes sparkled with anticipation.  I could feel myself smile at the joy he had already brought into my life.

      I couldn’t let myself love again, and this was much to soon to feel so strongly for someone I had not yet met. But it was his laughter, and the way he understood those things I thought and felt too. I couldn’t keep my heart from falling..... he was everything I had wanted and dreamed for in a mate.  He was the one for me, I just knew deep inside my heart. I prayed that he would be.... please God let this be the one who makes my life feel complete, if not just let him simply slip away.

      The phone interrupted my thoughts and I so hoped that it was him.  I gathered a blanket in anticipation of settling in for many hours of wonderful conversation . As I looked at the caller ID I recognized his phone number. I could feel my heart swell with joy. His voice was warm and already so familiar,“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said. And with these simple words, I knew this would be one of many Valentine’s Days we would share together, not on the phone, but in person, loving each other, and so thankful for our fortune.

      The music filled the room with the sound of his guitar and voice, and  I realized that my mind had transported me back to the beginning of our relationship. His love had now filled my life for two years and every day had become like Valentine’s Day.  I longed for him to put his guitar away and take me into his arms.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kelly Robertson wrote Feb 15, 2009
    • LC, is your husband’s astrological sign Cancer by chance? You‘re one lucky lady! ox
      Hugs, Kelly



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Feb 15, 2009
    • Kelly, he’s actually a pieces.
      He’s water and I am fire!
      I have read that normally pieces and aries are not normally compatible, but when you find two that actually get past the hurdles, are totally meant to be.
      Have a great day!
      Lisa



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Feb 15, 2009
    • Yana..you are so right!  As my pastor would say...we need to be filling each others love tanks!  I would say my love tank is empty and probably his is too.

      Tulip:  the cake is gorgeous.  I’m going to contact you about using fondant.  I have been very interested lately in using it.

      LC:  you are so blessed to have such a wonderful husband.  How you two react to one another is a testimony in itself.  Keep it up!



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