Ladies—having a loved one involved in porn is a hard road to walk. It can be painful, scary and demeaning especially if the one involved is your boyfriend/husband.

There is hope. There is help. There is healing. I know, I’ve been there.

What I’ve learned:

1. Trust that "inner voice" when you feel something is not right. You're experiencing that for a reason.

2. Never blame yourself. Your husbands addiction is not your fault or because you are lacking in some way.It's been amazing to me as I've talked to many women facing this in their marriages, how beautiful, smart, talented,and loving they are.

3. Confront your husband about your suspicions or concerns with his involvement in porn as calmly as possible. Not to say that you shouldn't tell him how hurt or angry his choices have made you, but try to do it without emotional extremes.Men are much more willing to open up when they don't feel attacked or criticized.

4. Learn all you can about pornography addiction. Understand the signs, symptoms and meaning behind your husbands' choices and actions.

5. If you decide to stay together and work on your marriage, get involved with a support group for wives. It helps so much to be with other women who are facing the same challenges you are.

6. Compliment even the smallest progress you see your husband make. If he comes to you and tells you when he's slipped and viewed porn, thank him for telling you. Encourage him, support him, and tell him often that you love him.

7. If your husband isn't remorseful or willing to change make the best long-term choice for you and your children.

8. When your ready and have had sufficient time to grieve, ask God to help you forgive your husband. Whether he changes or not, do it for you. Forgiveness is the only way to restore peace to your heart.

Visit my website or blog to find more help, support, and understanding, and check out my book—written as a fiction novel, based on my story.

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