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I have a twin brother who is also n his third marriage..interesting, huh?
The first day he brought her to meet my family he whisked me outside, before I even met her, and started giving me a lecture. It was basically that I had better be nice to her and he expected me to be good friends with her.
I was blown away at the way he was acting, because I will try to be friends with anyone!
Being lectured before you even meet someone doesn’t really start things off well. It made me feel nervous and already condemned.
I met her and talked to her. Apparently I wasn’t nice enough. I got another lecture that I should act like I acted with his last wife. His second wife and I were very close, and still are.
I told him that I needed to get to know this woman better and build a relationship! Am I missing something?
Then I made a BIG mistake! My ex sister-in-law’s son and his wife had a baby. I went to see the baby at her house.
I swear we have been in WW3 ever since....it’s been like 7 years!
I even took his current wife to lunch to apologize, but I also added that at my age no one was going to tell me who I could have as my friends!
We are still struggling to have a good relationship. We get a long but that’s about it.
They don’t understand that it takes personalities that match to make a great friendship. I still talk to my his ex wife because we are like sisters. We laugh and giggle and can share anything..we also believe in God, which they don’t.
I have to act like I don’t talk to her though...he asks or makes a comment once in a while.
I understand that he is divorced from her because they had problems.  But, she and I never had a problem!



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • That is so High School! Your brother is acting like a child (pardon me, Jomi)
      My brother and his wife are divorced. At first, my mom was insulted that I not only kept in touch with her, but I would visit her and we would still call ourselves sisters. Why not? She didn’t divorce me! Besides, I have a niece from her and my brother, should my niece have to grow up with bitterness?
      I applaud you for doing what your heart tells you, your brother needs to get with the program. You can’t force someone to like a person just because. It will take time for you to warm up to his new woman. And he’s not helping trying to force you to like her. The problem is he wants you to dislike his Ex and you‘re not having that.
      You have to be true to yourself. Your brother will have to learn to live with it, you‘re a grown woman.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • I think you probably know what i think here. tongue out

      Your bro needs to grow up!! Now, if his ex did something horrific to him for them to break up, then i can see his issue. But if it was a mutual thing, then oh well.

      You owed no one an apology either. If she is your friend that is your business.  

      Tell him high school is over...get over it, grow up or pi$$ off! estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • Inakika..It’s not only that he tries to make me like her.  She talks down to me and she doesn’t really have  a fun personality...forgive me for saying so...but if I try to joke around she glares at me.  I would like nothing more but to be able to be more than just friendly....but it does take two!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Peejay64 wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • I know there is a special bond between twins, but relationships between women are just different! Men who are our relatives/siblings can’t expect us to just like whomever they like, accept them, and love them.  It’s not that easy.  Sorry you have to deal with this stuff!  BUT.. your life is YOUR life. You can choose your own friends and keep your relationship w/ the previous wife without his consent, approval, or maybe even his knowledge of it.  It’s none of his business.  As for the new chick, give her a chance, but be true to yourself too!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • I agree, Jomi, it indeed take two. I would not even force the issue. Your brother is trying to force something that just ain’t happening. I would say be cordial as you can stand to be and that’s it. I have a hard time being phony and it sounds like you do too. It would be written all over my face.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • My brother and I used to be so close until this happened.  Sometimes I feel that it’s her trying to keep us apart.  I have been texting him lately and it’s been nice.
      I don’t like it when we go to their house..usually for Thanksgiving or a family gathering...because I start stressing before I get there.  UGH!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • Inakika...I hate being phony and I love being happy.  They make jokes and are sarcastic all the time.  That just doesn’t make me feel all cozy and loving!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • Me too, Jomi. I just don’t know how to be fake. If I like you, then you know. If I don’t, you still know!
      I hate people that try to bring me down. I try to surround myself with happy people.
      It’s really something how one person can destroy the dynamics of a family gathering.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kck0036 wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • I can relate, I have a sibeling that is just like this, telling me what to say how to say and what to feel. It
      is hard when you want to have fun and just enjoy family.
      she is not happy unless she is in “Drama“. I feel so
      uncomfortable like you Jomi when it is time to go to
      a function because I am having panic attacks..(where is
      the valume?) Just cannot understand why some people have
      to ask you to feel the way they do when you have your
      own feelings...I feel for you not only on this but your
      saddness of acting like he wants you to when around him
      because I have to do the same thing with her. I could write a book on family sibeling rivalry but I wont bore you with
      my drama, Good luck to you and I can see the smile and love  you have in your eyes and can tell you are a wonderful person, just keep being that way! happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • Fab 40 is a very addicting habit!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • tori...me too.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • First of all...I don’t think you should have had to apologize for going to see your ex sis in law..sorry..I don’t get it...and to be forced to like the new ‘flavour’ of the however long this one lasts?..Ridiculous...Family sure are something else...Talk about giving you the freedom or choice of who you want to befriend!!!!!



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