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I just read Hotwomen aka Hot Mama’s article on being ‘THE GOOD MOTHER’

Her article was so thought provoking..it so explains my current situation at home.

I am a married Indian women ,mother of two teenage girls living in Malaysia.And being the perfect duty bounded, ‘drop down to yur knees n scrub the dirt off the floor‘mother and wife is what my husband loves to turn me into.

Infact that is exactly why we quarrel almost each day.He is pecking at me each day like my mom-in-law.(The dominating mom-in-law senario is very common here in Asian countries)
He demands this n that and absolutely cannot understand if I refuse to clean up or choose to order take away for a day or two in a week.

If i tell him Im tired,he would roll his eyes n say what is there to be tired when u stay at home each day.He calls me from office.I would be touched when he ask me how i am doing but in actual he wants to know what i am ‘actually’ doing at home.

Girl...i get by by lying through my teeth.What he doens’t know wont hurt him.Yes..i go shopping with my girlfriends,yes..i read novels,yes...Im on the net.So what..????????????

Come to think of it..I am different and i have always been that way.Indian Wifes are so dutiful and obedient to their husband and family.They get up early in the morn,shower from head to toe,go to the altar n say their prayer,fix breakfast and start cleaning the house.

Yes..i have done all those..In those exact order maybe
twice in a Year.I cannot get into that routine no matter how hard i try.When it is his off day n that means he doenst have to go to the office,i get into that almighty routine just to please him.

I have being pleasing everybody all my life.When exactly do i get to do what i want to do?????????

Meanwhile i am being constantly reminded how lucky I am to be at home and do whatever i want!~



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      L J wrote Jul 22, 2009
    • I LIVE HERE IN THE STATES, BUT I GO THRU THE SAME THING WITH MY HUSBAND, SO DON‘T FEEL BAD...

       I THINK ALL MEN WOULD BE THAT WAY IF THEY COULD GET AWAY WITH IT!
      IT IS JUST IN THEIR NATURE I THINK... BUT I SAY
      ” THEY NEED TO GET OVER IT“... THE STONE AGE IS GONE!
      THEY NEED TO BE GLAD THEY HAVE A WOMEN IN THEIR LIFE THAT WILL PUT UP WITH THEM, CAUSE SOME WILL NOT AND I AM GETTING TIRED OF WALKING ON EGG-SHELLS WHENEVER MINE COMES HOME,TOO...
      THEY THINK JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE MAKING THE MONEY THAT IT GIVES THEM THE POWER OVER US, BUT IT DOES NOT IN MY BOOK...
      LJ



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Jul 22, 2009
    • I too live in the states and like LJ says it’s like that everywhere.. I don’t work so I stay home and do my housework but there are times that I want to have a ME time and I’m very thankful that my husband isn’t always getting on to me for not cleaning this or that.. My husband does call me but to see what I’m doing or asking me if I could please do this or that for him.
      I do get help from him and our boys, so I’m really lucky.. I’m not trying to brag and if it sounds that way I’m sorry, it’s just I don’t understand how any man can be like that.. I grew up that both husband and wife can take care of a household.. My brothers were taught everything that will help them in life and I did the same for my boys..

      My boys know how to cook, clean, wash clothes and at the same time be hardworkers and great providers for their future families..

      I wish you all the best..

      Marie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jul 22, 2009
    • Cultural differences I know are part of what we women have to contend with. I am glad to be in the U.S. for various reasons. I’ll be submissive when he’s worth it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jul 22, 2009

    • Take a stand for your right to be treated with the respect you deserve as a woman first, then a wife and mother. I applaud you for wanting to do things you so desire to for yourself. Go for it and whoever doesn't like it can get down on their knees and scrub the floors until their change come lol. STRONG WOMEN UNITE!!!!!estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Subathra wrote Jul 22, 2009
    • Thank Q very much.Al yur responces are so inspiring n touching.

      I am so happy to be a part of tis amazing group.

      ThankQ gals..

      If there is anything else u r curious about Asia n its people,go rite ahead n ask me.

      Love u all



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janet Wooley wrote Jul 22, 2009
    • You know I know what you are saying and thank God my husband is not like that but I on the other hand I am very strong willed and he does not ever tell me what I can and can not do for one IF he ever did I wouldn’t do it. I told him early on. I will do anything in the world for you as long as you ask me to do it. If you ever TELL me to do something you better have time to watch it NOT get done until you do it your own self. To me that is just respect and we deserve to be treated respectfully. I in turn treat him w/respect.
      Sorry you have to go thru this and thanks for telling us we can ask ? if we want, you too.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Jul 23, 2009
    • I am in the states also, part of the Mexican culture (my people) have the same expectations of women, so I can relate to what you are saying. I was glad to get away from home where these expectations are stilled placed on the women. Men work outside the home and women must stay in the home and run it. The sad thing is for some of the women that are now working outside the home, they still have to come home and do all the housework. I’m all for equality, I have raised my sons to know how to do all the chores normally associated with women’s work, they will make good husbands one day. If I was you I’d probably be doing the exact thing. Keep doing what you are doing, stay strong, welcome to this site.



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