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My husband cheated but that doesn’t have to determine who I am and what my future holds.  After giving this marriage my all I realized tonight that I have to give myself just as much!  Dang, I wish I would have thought of that sooner, but no worries...It’s time to make decisions that are good for me.  I have to spend a lot of time proving to Joy (me) that I love her...I didn’t realize how much attention I DIDN‘T pay her...Yeah it’s a love thang!  It’s all about me; getting emotionally healthy, spiritually free, and physically strong...THEN my kids will be blessed!  Darn, I must say that my future is looking pretty darn GOOD!  Share with me how you have been loving on yourself!



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Oct 31, 2008
    • Joy,

      Girl, you don’t need to know how I got through it as you asked earlier. You have found the key. Now open the door.

      When you asked me that  tonight I went back and just finished reading all the post on your blog. It took a while to read all of them. What wise women are on this site.

      You have found tonight what took years for me to find. You truly have to know who you are. It is not selfish to love yourself first. It is Biblical. The Lord was trying to give us a road map for life, If we would just listen.

      When you get free spiritually and physically it helps so with the emotions.

      There were many times I cried out to God. I read some of my old journals and amazed at what the Lord has done.

      I truly believe there is power in prayer. Ask God for wisdom. He will give it to those that seek it.  

      I am so glad that you found this site. I am honored that
      you requested friendship.

      I will be here on the sidelines cheering you on . There will be good days and bad days. But, you have your feet on the right path.

      Instead of Run Forest Run... It is Run Joy Run!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Oct 31, 2008
    • You GO GIRL!!!!

      We are all rooting for you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterscotch wrote Oct 31, 2008
    • Just so you know I am totally crying right now and even though the pain is beyond words I know that doing all I can to love myself inspite of how I feel or what I see is truly a gift from God.

      YANA:  This site is an incredible blessing...Thank God for you and your vision!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Oct 31, 2008
    • Joy, I encourage you to be strong, to know that yes, it is all about you.  Be the best you that you can be, take good care of you, like never before, and hold your head up, don’t even beat yourself up for a minute....

      And know, that "This Too Shall Pass".   And when it does, you will be in a better place, looking back, saying...*"Lord, look where your brought me from"*



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterscotch wrote Nov 2, 2008
    • thank you and blessings.  your words of encouragement are right on time.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Nov 2, 2008
    • Joy,
      It is a blessing when you finally realize that it truly is all about you.
      I came this realization myself not that long ago after years of thinking that it was somehow emodest to feel this way. I have learned that if it is not all about me then who am I to try and help empower another.
      You must know and love yourself first before you can know and love someone fully.

      Trust in you and in your process.

      Bonnefied quoted something that I know to be true and always helps me when I am unsure of my next step or afraid of the challenges that face me this too shall pass  

      Whether it be good or bad it all passes away eventually and what is left is either the good feelings that come from the good or hopefully the lessons that were learned from the bad.
      They are both to be cherished.
      Peace.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterscotch wrote Nov 3, 2008
    • Almostfiveo,  

      No doubt my friend, No doubt!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • Yes the vows does say foresaking all others.  I agree.  But I don’t think I would expect my husband to foresake his family during this time.  It’s not a family reunion, a graduation, or even a family picnic.  It’s a homegoing service for his brother, who I sure he loves.  

      We have to more reasonable, and give a littlee compromise sometimes.  I am not saying he should leave you during this time either, b/c this too is a major surgery, nd ofcourse he should be there in the event a major decision has to be made.

      What I am saying is, couldn’t your surgery be rescheduled?  Have you even considered that?  If it’s not a do or die surgery perhaps you can reschedule it. and accompny your husband to SC for the funeral.

      Unless there are other reasons behind what you are saying, I really don’t see this s such a detrimental issue, that warrants a divorce.

      I love my husband, and not only do I love him, I love his family, and I will always be their too support him, when it comes to his family, and he like wise have always been there to support me, when it comes to mine.  We’ve both travelled this road before.  he’s lost his mother, less than 2 years later his sister, and a year and cpl months later his brother.  2 monhs after his brother died, my father passed. There was no question ever, as to wether or not we had each others support, thats not an option.

      The vows also,, says, to be there for eachother, through the good and the bad times.

      I would like to encourage you and to reconsider your decision.  Talk to your surgical consultant.    

      Like I said this seem deeper.  I am sorry that you feel like second fiddle.  and I pray that you and your hubby can sit down, and work this out.  Can’t he go and be back in time?  I don’t know...it just sound workable to me....

      I could be wrong, and may not be faored in this response...but this is MHO.

      your fab40 sis



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • Leadinladytracy I agree with Bonnefied on this.
      Although we don’t know the full story, and it does sounds like there is a lot more to this than him not being there for your surgery, this has got to be a really rough time for the both of you.

      I’m sure he is possibly torn between being there for you and also being there to say goodbye to his brother.
      Is there a way,...as bonnefied suggested, that you can postpone the surgery?
      This is a terrible situation to be in for you.

      I hope everything works out for the good of all involved.
      Peace



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • leadingladytracy...I understand. Only you know what you go through and what you feel. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
      I hope everything works out for the best and that you have a speedy recovery.
      Take care.
      Carol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • Only he who feels it knows it...  You should know what it is you have endured over the years, and sounds like the road has come to an end.  I wish you all the best, I pray that all goes well with your suregery.  I ray that what ever final decision id made in reference to your marriage, it’s one that you have thoroughly examined.

      I Pray GODS BLESSIMGS



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Rowe wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • This is a tough situation as we don’t know the whole story. I have experienced great loss of loved ones and I would never expect my husband stay with me versus not go to a family member’s funeral. You only get one chance to say goodbye. Would you be left in good care with your parents?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Rowe wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • I apologize - I got on to the last topic in the thread and did not address the original blog.

      I’m so sorry that your husband cheated on you. I would be devastated to have found out that my husband cheated on me. This door has closed and has allowed another to open. Hopefully through this doorway you will find the man who will treat you with the respect you deserve! Hang in there!



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