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Will we ever tire of those ubiquitous lists in Glamour Mags that list the 5 or 10 tips or tricks that do this or that, good or bad? Well, I doubt that I will because everytime I see one I have an overpowering hankering to see how I stand up or how I am messing up my look. Oh Beauty, thy name is Paranoia!

And, perhaps more to the point, aren't we all just a teeny bit afraid that someone will really, actually, finally discover the fountain of youth and directions to it will be hidden in some back page of Elle or Bazaar, or on some blogpost, and that we will miss it completely?

So Allure published one recently: "The 10 Beauty Mistakes that Add 10 Years". Oh great. How could I pass that one up, especially at an age that, well, um, I don't necessarily have 10 years to spare! But who does??

So I pounced on the article to see how I did, and since I feel that it is my responsibility to my readers to speak the truth, no matter how painful, I decided to show you how I stacked up! Point by point. For the whole world to see. Here goes:

The 10 Beauty Mistakes that Add 10 Years:

(1) Thick Foundation: Guilty
(2) A Base that's too light: Innocent
(3) Heavy Concealer on Dark Circles: Guilty
(4) Face Powder on Top of Lines: Guilty
(5) Blush on the Apples of Cheeks: Innocent
(6) Lipstick that Migrates: Guilty
(7) Major Lipstick: Guilty
(8) Mascara on the Lower Lashes: Guilty
(9) Eyeliner on the Lower Lashes: Guilty
(10) Sparkly Shadow on the Outer Corner: Innocent

Seven guilty, three innocents!! Ten years in solitary and a knitted shawl for my shoulders! Does this mean that my transgressions make me look 70 years older? But Judge, spare me, I have great excuses!! I have imperfections that need foundation coverage, I have the worst dark circles in creation, I have wrinkles AND need powder, I never meant for my lipstick to feather or bleed, I have always loved major lipstick and mascara and a teeny bit of liner on my lower lashes! I throw myself on the mercy of the court!

The little indignities of ageing are so challenging----must they extend to my lifelong makeup practices? What's next---is someone going to tell me that all the young women are going without hose?? What? EEEEeeeeekk!!!!























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