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Holidays could be miserable for some Single People.

Each commercial, every advertisement, and thousands of articles portray holidays as this happy occasion among family, friends, and loved ones.
Like it or not we all embrace our families and make the best of the holiday season. Usually there are dinners, parties, and festivities and everyone is busy with the daily hustle and bustle.  

Letter to Santa

I have several friends that become down right depressed during the holidays.
Not to say that this applies to every single person out there, but definitely to the ones in between relationships. It's as if they are forgotten during that period.

Unattached women are more sensitive to each others feelings and tend to bond during the holidays.  They go out to lunches, exchange presents, and try to keep themselves busy. Men on the other hand tend to stay away from friends, in fear of being seen as week or lonely. So instead they get glued to a TV, fast food, and chase after women in bars.

So this year let's make a difference in the lives of our friends. Every one of us needs to feel that we belong somewhere. We all want to be loved and cared for. Of course not all single people are miserable, just like not all married people are happy. One thing is for sure though, holidays are a very intense period in all of our lives, so let's make it a point to invite our single buddies for a martini, to go out for a movie, or have them over for dinner. Let them know that they are not alone, and that you care.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • Share your stories how you keep your single friends happy during the holidays.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lakessler1 wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • I didn’t get married until I was 40 and had been out of a serious long-term commitment for six years before that. The holidays did get harder as I got to be an “older single woman“. I felt like I was growing into a stereotype, the old teacher spinster who holes herself up and reads good books and listens to sad Barry Manilow songs. However, with the rise of the Internet, my life changed dramatically. From having few options of meeting someone in this small town I live in, I joined Yahoo Personals and Matchbook and eventually met my current husband, who is a total joy! Funny thing is, with so many years of depressing Christmas’s, these holidays are so full of gratitude and bliss now that I AM married and in a great relationship. It’s been like travelling through a lonely desert only to reach the promised land after 40 long years.

      However, that said, I did do some things to help me through the god-awful holidays when I was single. I fed homeless people, went to a few parties (with lots of single people who “got it“), viewed Christmas lights in local neighborhoods with a good friend, and generally tried to make the best of it. Networking with other single ladies helps a lot. It’s like an “orphan club“, but we all need to be with folks who understand us.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • I’m single and it’s hard at Christmas but I have a wonderful daughter at home - so we have each other. Sadly our family are not local.

      A lot of my single friends go away for Christmas and the New Year and have a great winter break together and actually a lot of married friends are quite envious - as they are waited on hand and foot and in a warm climate and no squabbling / bickering families to contend with ...
      I have four friends who are hitting the South of France next week ....coming back to London all bronzed and refreshed in the middle of a bleak January ...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • I used to be single for 9 years before I got married.  I remembered to lonesome moments.  Plus my family were all overseas.  So I was with a son from his age 2 to age 11.  I made myself busy.  I joined the church choir and sang on Christmas eve, sometimes Christmas day.  I did a lot of activities with my son when he was young, either went snow slugging (sp?) or friends visiting.

      Now I am married, had my family situation be a little stable, I would make sure all my single friends are with somebody.  If not, they would welcome to stay with me.  This year it may be a little difficult but I will make sure to give them a call.  estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • I have a couple of single friends-one has a great relationship w/ her sister and spends the holidays w/ her family.  both parents are deceased.  she has also made a lot of close relationships w/ the  people she has worked w/ for over 25 years.  

      the other has a “sister from hell“, she has decided she is better off disassociating herself from her. She is close to her niece and nephew and his wife.  She spends the holidays w/ them and other single girlfriends as well.

      Since we always go away, I tend to give them a call, send cards and check in with them a couple of times.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • jenz41 and I found each other here at Fab40 and we are ringing in the new Year together!! Planning on having a Fab Time!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!! FAB time done in true FAB STYLE!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-qtay wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • It is time!
      2009 will be the, “Year to Shine“!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Teresa Lee wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • I’m single, but my kids do come home from college over the holidays so that helps. It’s not just the holidays though. I live in a small town that is very family oriented. The rest of my family is 700 miles away and so are my 2 best friends. I struggle with this, but it makes me more aware of others who are alone over the holidays. I made invitations to a couple of other singles for Thanksgiving. That made me feel good and hopefully it was a blessing to them as well.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Teresa Lee wrote Dec 18, 2008
    • vintage...I am certain you are a blessing to many. How thoughtful to remember your single friends and focus on them. More people need friends like you! :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Dec 18, 2008
    • Being single myself and being a party planner this is my element! I make “dates” with my single girlfriends and have Girls Night Out or Girls Night In!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Dec 18, 2008
    • Jenz and Jenni, that is so awesome! I’m so happy for both of you.
      I wish I could be there to help ring in the new year



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      AnneMarie Kimberling wrote Dec 20, 2008
    • This year is very hard...  single... recent heart-break...  250 miles from family...  just not in the spirit... and unfortunately, all my friends are married and focused on their families (and children) - and I am very happy for them....  So this year, I’m just hoping the holidays fly by extremely quickly...  Soon, they will be over and then I can prepare for that sappy holiday of Valentine’s Day - yikes!  happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Funjewelri-com wrote Dec 20, 2008
    • I’m sure people who are single are probably not the happiest this time of year.  That is were family and friends play a big role.  However, I know alot of married people who are miserable together and are only staying together because of financial needs and not hurting the children.  Therefore, for all you single people...married life is not all it is cracked up to be.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Teresa Lee wrote Dec 20, 2008
    • amk924... I’m in the exact same place you are. I put up my tree today. I decided I needed to do it for me. I’m surrounded by folks who are in family mode. Most of my friends are married with young children. Mine are grown. They’ll be here some, but they’ll spend a lot of time with friends as well.
      Hope your holidays go well. Do something for you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Dec 21, 2008
    • With children, its incredibly hard to have alone time.  So I jingle.. Single.. and love it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Dec 21, 2008
    • Well I was married and the relationship was turning toxic. So when I decided to leave him, I became thankful for having courage to get out. Life is and continues to be a struggle. But I have fabulous friends and  when I get sad, I try to remember that where I am now is a whole lot better than where I was.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Teresa Lee wrote Dec 21, 2008
    • I 2nd that vgirl, I got rid of a toxic mate and I feel powerful because of it. I, too, have to remind myself of that when I attempt to have private pity parties. LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cosmopink wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Just found out my husband didn’t pay the bills for the last two to three months.  I just avoided water disconnection—that’s how I found out how bad the situation was.  And then I dealt with the rest of the bills.  I’d ask him how the bills were going, were they getting paid, and he’d say yes.  When I confronted him, he said he was overwhelmed.  But he never told me!  Now we‘re in a hole (not the first time), and what little money I have has to buy gas for the car and groceries and a few little gifts.  I was paying the bills and we were good, then my mom had surgery (I’m an only child) and I was there for her plus working full-time and I asked him to help with the bills.  

      Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I’m not lonely.  I certainly do not have a partner in this relationship.  He works and watches TV.  No abuse, no drinking, no gambling.  He watches TV and that is all he wants to do.  And nobody really knows what I’m going through.  Yes, I’m very lonely.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Teresa Lee wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • suitejudi, I’m really sorry you‘re going through that. The relationship I referred to above? I was very lonely the entire time. I understand at least part of what you‘re going through. Being together (with someone) doesn’t always mean being happy. Did he spend the money, too? Are you able to get things caught up? Being lonely is one thing, coupled with this issue I imagine is devastating.

      {{{{hugs}}}}



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cosmopink wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Ah, ladies, thank you so much for your responses!  To answer, no, I can’t see where he spent it, and he really doesn’t do anything so I don’t know where he would spend it.  Yes, I’ll get caught up, but I’ll be on payment plans with a few utilities for several months.

      And, bfly, same thing—he does not help in any decisions.  I’ve asked him several times, if money wasn’t so much an issue, what would he like to do.  He can never come up with an answer!  I have so many things I still want to do and the only life he seems to want is the TV remote control.

      I have tried to change me to change him.  I have tried to change us to improve our marriage.  And I have blatantly tried to change him.  He said this morning he’ll try harder.  I just don’t think he really has it in him to try.  If I were to walk out the door, I don’t think he’d even do much to stop me.

      Yes, I could use some miracles!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • I am thinking, should I create a group called “it’s hard to love your husband” not that we don’t BUT... or any suggestion with group mission and group name and your take?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cosmopink wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • That’s probably a good idea—I sort of took it off subject.  Maybe, “How do you know when it’s over“?  That’s probably more where I’m at.  I don’t know.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Well, I am in a different situation.  I love my husband.  He loves me.  He has a medical condition so I am as lonely as you are.  I just wonder can the group be opened for those lonely hearts, in a relationship, out of a relationship, or on a fence of exiting.  Welcome your comment or should it be pin pointed?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cosmopink wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • How about “Married but Lonely Hearts“?  That might cover many of these relationships.  How do you feel about it?  or just, “Lonely Hearts“?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Hmm, can I think a bit.. immediate thought is a group called Lonely Hearts .. then subgroup to single and lonely, married but lonely....hmmm.. still thinking.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • this is probably way off topic but.....my husband has this friend.  He happens to be an ace mechanic and also an alcoholic.  My husband is so dry its not even funny.  How he is friends with this person I have no clue.  Anyway, this friend of his, my husband wants him over Christmas Eve (fine with me) but wants him to sleep over and be with us Christmas Day.  I just cant.  I wont.  Husband and I are now in heated argument over this.  I just dont know what I should do.  I gave ultimatum.......him or me for Christmas.  Was I wrong?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Just a footnote...this guy has no family (well he does) but chooses not to associate with them.  I think because he doesnt want them to know he drinks like he does.  This guy crashes and drools from being drunk.  It’s disgusting.  I dont want to be around that during the holidays.  HELP!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Doreen I hear you.  Be right back, I need more juice in my brain.  Let me recharge first. happy



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