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Ok, so it’s opening weekend!  My husband is an avid hunter, and when the season opens, I become a widow.  I do enjoy my time alone.  However, after the house is cleaned and I’ve had a few hours of down time to myself, what’s next?  I have an 11 year old daughter, and when my hubby is gone, we do get to spend quality time together.  We usually go out and eat, go to the movies, go shopping/window shopping.  And just sit around being silly and watching tv.  

The only thing that I don’t like is, when my husband goes out of town, he thinks the fun in life should stop for me until he gets back.  He thinks I shouldn’t have any friends over, and I shouldn’t go anywhere and have a drink or hang out with my friends.  This is ridiculous because I have never done anything for him to distrust me, and I don’t really think that’s the issue here.  I just think that he wants me to “wait” for him to get back before I start having fun again.  I have gone places with friends like to lunch and dinner.  As long as I have my daughter with me, he don’t get too bothered, but if I’m alone he just can’t stand it.  I don’t go out to bars or clubs either.  But have been asked to go to “our” regular hangout with a couple of friends.  The one thing that is really stopping me from going is that the only baby sitter that I have is my mother in law.  I love her to death, but I don’t want it to be talked about behind my back by his family that I “dumped my daughter off and went out” while he was gone.  This is a second marriage for both of us and I have no family here to babysit for me.

If it was REALLY a big deal to me, I would hire a babysitter and go anyway, but it’s really not.  I just kinda wanted to blow off steam.

So, any other girls out there have any similar situations? or are widows during hunting season?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Oct 18, 2008
    • I understand where you are coming from even though I’m passed the younger children thing.  My husband hunts...but I have always gone or done whatever I want.  I don’t go to clubs or anything  but I have gone to cookouts, parties, drop-ins or out to dinner with my friends...(women of course) without my  husband.  I guess I’m blessed to have a husband that never kept me from doing that.  But...we allow each other to have their space and do the things we want to do.  It’s not hurting anything.  As long as the two of you still do your own thing together...its actually very healthy.  I don’t get mad when he plays golf all day or goes hunting...I’m happy for him.  He enjoys it.   When there are events that we both need to attend...he’s there.  When he is gone...it gives me a chance to enjoy being at home by myself.  My boys are young adults and are usually either working or gone off with their friends.  I have so much that I’m in involved in and so many hobbies that I enjoy that I have plenty to do if I choose to do it.  

      I say...you both sit down and talk about it....and let him know how you feel.  Seems to me he want to do and go with his hunting buddies but he expects you to just sit and wait.  Sorry...couldn’t do that.  Girl...take some time out for YOU.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jldixon wrote Oct 18, 2008
    • Hey girl, thanks for your input.  I did tell him last night that he was being very selfish, and he’s mistaken if he thinks I’m not going to have friends over and that I’m going to sit home and do nothing while he’s gone.  He’s not used to me going anywhere when he’s gone b/c in the past (we’ve been married 7 years) I didn’t really have friends to go and do anything with.  But now, I’ve met a few girls, and I have the opportunity.  So, he just don’t know how to deal with it I guess.  Something new to him.  But, yeah, when he gets home I’m def. going to sit him down and talk to him.  In my previous marriage I went and did everything by myself.  He was NEVER there.  And my husband now (Terry) he’s so good to me.  He does whatever I ask him to do, he cleans, loves to cook, vaccums, even cleans toilets! LOL  So, I feel very fortunate to have somebody like him, a complete turn around from the 1st marriage.  Getting off the subject though, yeah, you‘re right, it is healthy to have your own space in a realationship, and he has his, because he hunts, fishes, and travels some with his job.... I think it’s just that I’ve never had a hobby or friends to do it with.  So, he’s just gotta get used to it.
      thanks again.  :^}



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Oct 18, 2008
    • JlDixon...that is so good your husband helps you out in so many ways.  Mine helps out as well....without me asking at times too. I guess you‘re right about your husband just not being use to you going and doing without you.  But you do need some time and space for yourself.  It defines who YOU are.  Find something  you would like to do...learn how to do something that YOU like.....whatever...do something YOU like to do.  

      Have a great day today....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jldixon wrote Oct 18, 2008
    • Yeah, Maryclark, you are sooo right.  I need to find something that I like to do.  LOL  Thing is, what I like to do is read, write poetry, and making my house look nice.  I do like antique stores and thrift stores, and that's what my friend and I did a couple of weeks ago.  And believe it or not, Terry was home, watching football, and had dinner ready when we finally got back home.  I'm just not one of those "on the go" people.  I'm kinda a home body.  To be honest with ya, Terry has showed me and my daughter a whole different world since moving down here.  He's introduced us to scalloping, snorkling, lobstering, 4 wheeling, golfing and fishing for my daughter just a whole lot of things that we weren't exposed to in SC. The small town that we're from, well there just wasn't much to do, guess that's why I've never been a busy body. LOL But I'm learning though! smile



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