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Benefits
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Benefits
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Twenty five years ago I met a woman on a tee-ball field. It was a bright and hot summer afternoon, and she was wearing a white, eyelet skirt, a white puff sleeved shirt. Golden haired and lovely I simply HAD to meet her and discover her story....
That was how it began. We became friends immediately upon that day. We entered into a friendship as long lost sisters and definite soul mates in the way that only women can connect.
This friendship has seen us through a combination of 5 marriages, the growing up of our combined 5 children, the loss of her son at the age of 18, and several missing moments when the communications just started to dwindle, though we always picked up where we left off as if time simply folded those blank spots into nothingness.
Last March she created a situation in her life that swept through mine as well and I realized that she had manipulated me in a way I never believed she ever would. I barely spoke to her from then until September and, as of September I have not returned any calls nor initiated any.
I have told my husband countless times that I am done because she betrayed my trust, my generosity, my spirit in an unforgivable way.
Yet we have always vowed, from the beginning, that we would be together until the first one of us dies and the friendship will see us through death and beyond.
As I face my current issues with my health I know that it would be easy to pick up the phone and ask her to help me, to comfort me, to be my rock again.
And she would do it in a heartbeat.
But I can’t do it. My hand is stayed by the knowledge of her actions and I just can’t seem to find my way into a place of forgiveness right now.
And it weighs so heavy on my heart....
I’m so sorry that you have had to discover something ugly about your friend. Is it anything that can ever be worked out? If not, then all you can do is cherish your memories and move forward. It’s hard when someone you truly care for is not what they seem. But you know, it’s her loss also and she knows why and that makes it even worse.
i agree with inakika.. and you have to be strong and keep pushing on! if the friendship can be restored, great! if not, well, its her loss.. Pray about it is all i can add..
i will keep you in my prayers
I am sorry that you had to experience a betrayal of sorts. If the friendship is worth saving send her a note explaining your concerns.
Otherwise cherish your memories as previously suggested. I will also pray for you.
Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I do feel that the day will come when I will be able to write to her and tell her my thoughts, but I will need to be in a place of non-reactiveness. I’m just not there right now, too filled with unrest and the anger is still too quick to surface.
Teeky, you are right. Everyone that comes into our life is a earth angel, I do believe that. Whether the experience is a long one or short one, there is usually an opportunity to be willing to see something about ourselves. And that is a good topic for the next blog. 
Blessings to you all...
Lynn
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