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I’ve been reading blogs and listening to the voices in the wind. So the question is, just how hard is it to love your husband?

  I’ll start. It’s damn hard especially when I get up at 6:15 in the morning to go to my first job at the local gym to lead water exercise class and then right afterwards I clean up and go to my full-time job 8 to 5. Two days out of the week I go to the senior citizens center for water exercise class at 5:45 to 6:30. To top it off I work a weekend job on Saturday and Sunday for four to six hours both days.  

  What does he do you ask, works commission which is nothing if you don’t sell a thing! So I can tell you it’s damn hard in my case.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • 47: I am on a small base and commission.  I know what you mean.  Self Employed is nice and we need lots self motivation and discipline.  Ask him if his company has trip or incentives, help him to see the benefits.  Do not nag - be there and cheer.  I am from the other end and I know how I like to be encouraged and motivated.
      If my spouse pressures me, I actually put on my reverse gear.  Hope this make sense from the other prospective.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Hmmmm..Great question 47..Most times it’s not hard at all for me to love my husband...When I’m drained of energy or just need a break from the baby..sometimes it’s like pulling teeth to get him to take him..even if it’s for 30 minutes...and when he’s on his computer?..Forget it..all in all though...he’s a keeper and not at all hard to love him..sometimes it’s a task though...lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Dear China,

       Working hard as I describe means I have no time for nagging or anything else. There’s no more cheer left. The man has skills to work a good job, he chose commission work.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • As far as the working thing...I’m glad that my hubby is not comission based...but at the same time..he can sell swamp land to anyone..lol..He has the gift for gab and it comes along with much charm...

      Seriously though...he’ll do what he has to..to bring the money home and allow me to stay at home with the children, if I so choose to...If he could find a part-time job, he’d work morning, noon and night if he had to...Our joke is that..that’s the asian in him...lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Its very hard.  Especially when you have been together since teenagers.  Neither one of us had the opportunity to grow up without each other.  We still sometimes look at each other as if we were kids.  That can be so hard to get past.  His work is pretty much seasonal, road construction in the good weather and snow removal in the bad weather.  Either way, he’s busy for endless hours, especially during the winter.  He sleeps when Im awake and vice versa.  Weekends during road construction, he’s exhausted from working in the heat long drawn out days.  I work in 4 different locations and he never knows what office Im in at any given time.  It’s very hard but worth it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Sometimes, he makes it very hard to do that.  Those times, when he wants to make excuses for not picking up after himself...he works 2 jobs he tells me...WTH, so do I.  Plus, gone are the days when barefoot and pregnant was the norm.  It a lot of hard work...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • I can’t help but love my husband. If I do get upset with him, you can’t...you just can’t stay mad at him.
      I have to say I am very fortunate that I have a great husband. I have no complaints......right now anyway!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • LC; No complaints is wonderful. Keep loving!

      Soulful; I’m tickled pink for you. That’s me. That’s what I want in my man, the vision.

      Doreen; That’s what like minds look like to me.  

      China; Midlife Crisis, maybe for him. I’m not there yet!

      [Link Removed]


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Soulful, you got one of those too, eh...my hubby also has that gift, he will sell you, the shirt off your own back



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Love is really a choice, not a feeling. Or rather, our thoughts choose our feelings for us. If we can train our thoughts to love our husbands (or whatever else we want to do/change) then we can harness our feelings, and our actions will follow. I, like Doreen, have been married to my husband since right after high school. We went to college together, grew up together, and learned how to be adults and be responsible together. I have been married more years than I was single. I can’t say that it has been a bed of roses, not thornless ones anyway. :) We’ve had some rough times, times I wanted to quit. Times I hated my life. And then I came to the point that I realized that *I* was in control of how I felt, so I trained my brain to not acknowledge the negative thoughts, and foster the good ones. It has paid off. Through taking my thoughts captive I have not only stirred our relationship to the highest level it has ever been, but I have also learned to respect myself enough to not stay in situations that make me unhappy. I figure out what is bugging me and I change it. Maybe for you that means a job change? I am thinking about the movie we saw when we were on vacation in Cancun - The Pursuit of Happiness. Great movie! I think it is highly relevant to your situation.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Well hmmmmm, in my case the question should be reversed.  

      My husband does it all. Works 50 hours a week. The drive round trip to his job can be up to 3+ hours. He grocery shops, helps with laundry, takes me to my doctors, takes the kids to their functions, he does it all!

      So, I asked him how hard is it to love your wife?
      He said hard...why? then he laughed and said it’s easy to love you. Relationships and family can have hard times, but the love is there.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • lol...bfly...guess you answered that..huh?

      mztracy..it is impossible to not love you...you are genuinely a beautiful person...and even though you try to make me think you are evil...I can honestly say I know why your hubby loves you...I do too....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Bfly,

      When I read your response I burst into laughter, I know what that determination feels like once you make it.  

      We will have another party when it’s done!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • At this very moment....it’s really hard.  I am fuming.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • !http://images.fabulously40.com/uploadedimage/2627/thumbx120/hpim0703.jpg! My husband is great, as long as you aren’t spending money or he doesn’t have to be involved in a conflict!  We got married four years ago.  He loves me even though I don’t weigh 95 anymore..far from it!  He loves me even though I have ms.  He knows when I’m tired and doesn’t complain when the house is messy because I’m too tired.
      He works hard for our family. No matter what..I love him!


      Jomi, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Dec 24, 2008
    • My husband works very hard and long hours. In addition to being a painter, he has his own home improvement business. Often he does not get home from work until after 8:00 pm.  

      He sometimes makes it hard to love him, but I know I can be just as difficult as well.  

      Marriage is a lot of work. It is not easy.  

      If you have been married for a long time, you are not the same person you were when you said I do.

      For me I’ve been married for 23 years. We both have changed since that day.

      But with hard work and prayer, I hope to make it another 23 years.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Dec 24, 2008
    • 47 & Doreen:   Anger and Lack of Love are 2 separate things.  Sometimes you have to agree to disagree.....I know, I know, sometimes feels impossible to do. I’m not preaching...just sayin’

      Bfly - divorce here also in 2009. Let’s remember, Life isn’t fair, but it’s all good.

      LOVE LOVE BB’s quote!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Dec 24, 2008
    • Bfly - very well said. I agree with you and wish you the best.



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      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 24, 2008
    • Bfly, there comes a time in our life when we have to do what is best for each party involved.  You gave it your best and still your best was not good enough for him, but I am sure that should you go that path again, your best will be more suited to someone else who is more deserving.  Best of luck to you....happyhappy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Dec 24, 2008
    • My husband is very easy to love. Of course he gets on my nerves at times but that doesn’t even last very long. I just can’t stay mad at him even when I want to! He has a great big heart & is working so hard at our business to make sure we have everything we need to survive. He gets up every Sunday morning to go to church because he knows there is a higher power than himself. He is friendly, funny, respectful, patient, generous, humble...and the list goes on! It took me a long time to find this man! We got married 3 years ago when I was 37. I have been divorced once when I was too young to have even been thinking about marriage & swore I was never going to get married again. So to you beautiful ladies who are going through ruff times, I hope that one day when you are ready, you can find your best friend & soul mate like I have. It happened when I wasn’t even looking!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kathryn O'Hara wrote Apr 7, 2010
    • When I married my husband,I was 21 and he was 22.  I can honestly say he was far more in love with me than I was w/ him.  But I married him because he fit every criteria on my “list.”  I had a list of physical,spiritual and character qualities I felt I needed in a husband.  He just, fit the list.  Over the years, I have fallen more in love with him,and he is a truly amazing man. When he is being a jackass (NOT on my list...)I think back over the qualities I wanted in a man and he still has them.  On rough days, I pray a lot and on good days, I pray a lot.  

      I heard a good line once; the definition of love is not a feeling, it is the choice to accept somone, every day, for who they are and who they are not.  

      But having said that, it must be incredibly hard to have a man who works on commission.  Being gainfully employed with a regular paycheck was definitely on my list because my dad earned good money, but it was very irregular. So I can appreciate the difficulty a commissioned job presents to you.  Consider yourself hugged,hardatit!



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