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I didn’t really worry too much about money during my marriage because we lived pretty compfortable, especially when I was working.  I bought lots of stuff I liked especially for the kitchen.  I loved so many items in the magazines.  They were hard to resist.  I filled my house and decorated it just right.  I also worked in retail so it was very tempting to purchase a “good deal“!

I am now learning how very little I need.  No cable tv at home.  I don’t go shopping for clothes because I have plenty.  I now realize how wasteful I was at times and I am nothing compared to friends.

I am now looking forward to living in my means with my new start after the divorce and once my home is sold.  

I don’t need a 2400 square foot home for 2 people when half that is more than enough for 2.  Plus, I need something I can maintain with my health.  I don’t need to buy anymore gadgets, serving bowls, collectibles etc.  I am good for life.

Everything from my past will be perfect to fill my new home along with some addictions from my boyfriend.

I want to have money in the bank so I never have to feel the fear that I have been going through.  I want things simple and easy.  No more added stress.  I have learned how the more you have the more it added to my stress in my life.

No more credit cards, cash or debit only.  If I can’t afford it...I don’t buy it.

I actually appreciate everything more now that it isn’t so easy to just get it.  It is amazing how much I learned.
If I could go back I would do things different ; but you live and learn.

We learn from our mistakes in life.  They are the lessons to look for and improve on in the future.

Dianne



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Dec 5, 2008
    • Having been in your shoes many times, I feel your pain.  Money will come and go though.  But as long as you have a good career and live in your means.. and prepare for retirement and your health you should be fine.  

      All women should live like they will be divorced someday and realize that they must be able to provide for themselves in an unpredictable world.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Dec 5, 2008
    • Diane you’ve brought up a very important topic. I read the post by our legal expert the other day about new laws in California. The courts will not award alimony and even have re structured child support. Both spouses in the divorce will be required to make their own income even if the wife has been staying at home for years.

      Sobering but very valuable.

      You‘re ispiring and encouraging in your post. The voice of logic and reason.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Dec 5, 2008
    • Wow I am amazed the courts are restructuring like that.  Many women give up thier lives for a marriage and mothering.  It is sobering and Peeper.. this is a wake up call.  

      New Fairytale: 21st Century

      Cinderella needs a job and a career before she meets prince charming and after she meets him, hopefully she wont support him and she will keep all her seperate assets.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 5, 2008
    • The days of being barefoot and pregnant will definitely have to be a thing of the past.  

      Diane, this is truly inspiring and hopefully will be an eye opener for some women.  Like Teeky said, I have never lived in my dream home, etc., but I have always made the home I live in feel like it is.  

      Ellen, I happen to be one of those women who have some separate bank accounts, however. we do also have joint accounts.  I was working and independent before my husband came along and I saw no reason to become dependent on him after.  If I want to get myself whatever, I believe I should be able to go do it and not have to give account.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Dec 5, 2008
    • Divorce does indeed teach you plenty.  

        Diane I too believe that you are strong already and prepared for the next chapter in your life.

        We are here for you.

      much love
      47



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 5, 2008
    • Bfly, your father is a wise man.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 5, 2008
    • so sorry to hear that, I know you do.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 5, 2008
    • Thanks for sharing
      I sometimes take things for granted
      I have to step back and treat everything as blessings
      As well as remember, when I am 6’ under the ground
      I need nothing.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shopgirl1960 wrote Dec 6, 2008
    • Tory is right, women can learn from your reality. Great post Dianne!estatic  

      It is wonderful that you shared my friend.

      (((((cyber hugs)))))



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Becca wrote Jan 2, 2009
    • Congratulations Diane!

      Too many women believe that their value comes from the things they purchase. I have the belief that life should be simple and decluttered. All the clutter becomes the focus instead of yes - the simple things in life - what is the most important things you have? For me it is my boys, I have been through an ugly divorce from an abusing (mentally and physically) man. We made it though it all and what we focused on was we have each other and as long as we have that - we will survive.

      We are our own Rock and it is as strong as we allow it to be - material things are just material,they can be replaced.  

      ROCK ON!
      Becca



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Holly Beck wrote Jan 4, 2009
    • Good for you! The things you say make a lot of sense. I believe the world would be a better place if more people would realize that they have enough “stuff” and that buying more only complicated their life rather than making them happier. Your words have inspired me! Thank you!



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