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It’s been two months since I left my abusive husband (not my children’s father, thank God).  I’m facing my biggest fear: that of being alone.  My kids are at their dad’s for the week, so it’s me, my two cats and my dog.  

I’m finding that God does work in mysterious ways.  In the last two months I’ve made some wonderful female friends, and life is slowly turning around.  My house will be sold this week, yet I can stay here for the next few months with my children, or until I find a decent apartment to house my kids, animals, and me.  

I“m finding a sense of calmness I’ve never had before.  A feeling of freedom and ease is slowly overcoming my feelings of fear.  I now have the ability to visit my mom in Germany if I wish, I can go to Maine or Washington to visit cousins, and I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission nor have any guilt for doing so.  

Yes, life is lonely and scary, and somewhat painful, but I have my kids and, so far, my health. I’m learning that I’ve made some mistakes in the past, but I’m letting go, and allowing myself to really forgive myself for my shortcomings.  I’m looking forward to what lies ahead of me, instead of running away from what was behind me.  Life is good!



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lovehearts wrote Oct 26, 2008
    • hi  

      it is scary to think you have to make it on your own i speak from experience but no one gave me any set of intructions on how to do it.  so my suggestion make it up as you go along, be patient with yourself and surround yourself with many friends they are a blessing...
      women have awesome INNER strength tap into it

      many blessings!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Oct 26, 2008
    • Evelyn,

      I have been where you are standing right now.

      15 years ago I ended my marriage to a cheater and a liar.  He came across as such a nice guy to everybody else. They did not live with him.  

      My kids were 4 and 6 years old. I had to find a job and I was in a new state (because of his job) with no family around. I stayed here since my son was in school. I thought if I was going to start over it might as well be here.

      It was hard at first. I had 2 jobs  just to barely make ends meet. My divorce was the hardest thing I have ever been through. Custody battles,hell on earth. He did not want me , he just did not want anyone else to have me. He stripped me of everything. I said he could have everything,I just wanted the children. He used them  as a weapon to get to me.

      What I found in this valley was a strength that I never knew I possessed. A new confidence that I had not seen in a long time. Wisdom to share with others and a new best friend, ME! I would never stand by and let a friend be treated the way I allowed myself to be treated. I learned that we teach people how to treat us.

      You will find a new you and you will get through this crazy times. Pray for wisdom from the Lord. He will provide a way for you.I am glad that you have found this site  to click on when you are lonely or feeling down.

      You are not alone girl!!!

      As for me. I found the love of my life and we have been married for 13 years. God blessed me and my children. As far as the ex, he rarely sees the kids.  They are 21 and 19 now.  They see the truth and really do not have a relationship with him. It is his loss.They truly think the world of my husband, Don. You cannot believe all that Don has done for them. The Lord blessed me with more love and repect and showered us with gifts.The Lord gave me more than I could ever dream. HE IS A GOD OF SECOND CHANCES!!!

      Good things will come your way. I look forward to hearing your journey along the way. You take care of yourself!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lovehearts wrote Oct 26, 2008
    • darls5  reading your story is like living my experience with divorce all over again.  it is still new married for 30 years and my husband had his escape planned for years and i never saw it coming i was truly sleeping with the enemy.  my daughter turned her back on me and went to live with him because she said she likes nice things and it gets better she is adopted and he helped her find her birth mom and she now has a relationship with her and not me.  he was also a nice guy to the world, what do they all have this script built into their DNA.  anyway how do you deal with the hurt and pain knowing you didn’t deserve what they did?  i am healing from the hurt of one day i was a wife, mom and parent and in blink of an eye i was alone.  sorry i didn’t mean to get into all that, it was truly a lesson learned

      many blessings!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Evelyn03 wrote Oct 26, 2008
    • Thank you for all the positive comments.  I find comfort knowing that I am not alone in what I am going through, and I do find strength from some fabulous women here on this site and in my life.  I am thankful for all of you.  It’s amazing what I find when I let go of negatives and worries.  A Guiding Light is out there.  Thanks again!  

      darla5-  my hopefully soon-to-be- ex sounds a lot like your ex-husband.  He was a great guy to everyone else, except me.  It got so bad I thought I was going insane- I couldn’t do anything right and he said I was the problem.  Funny, how some time away can shed light reality.  He always told me that I lived in a fantasy world because I liked to see the good in people, and enjoy my time with my kids.  Now, I get my “fantasy world” as my reality.  My kids are much happier now that I’m happier with me.

      Thanks again, ladies.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Evelyn03 wrote Oct 26, 2008
    • lovehearts-  my heart aches for you!  I don’t know how to get over the hurt;  I’m not sure we do;  we simply learn how to live again.  I thought I found love again, but it was he who lay the groundwork for abuse.  He is extremely manipulative still.  He actually told me he was dying of cancer to get me back into his life (the cancer was a lie).  Like a fool, I let my emotions get the best of me (he knew what buttons to push), and I went to see him.  He proceeded to tell me I had no friends, no life, and that I was nothing without him.  Obviously, I left within minutes and haven’t seen him since.  I’m not over the hurt or the humiliation-but I am in a much better place without him.  

      I guess we do find strength within us that we don’t even know was there.  Life is very difficult- financially and sometimes emotionally- but for the most part it’s much better.  I,too, am finally finding out that I like myself.  Maybe that’s healing?  Good luck to you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Oct 26, 2008
    • Evelyn, you hang in there and keep talking to us. I am so thrilled to hear you say that you  are liking yourself. The first big step to healing. You have to love yourself first. The word of God says we need to love others as we love ourselves. We have to learn to take care of ourselves. Then we can take care of others.

       Lovehearts- I understand the loneliness and how you feel stripped. You  get through it one day at a time. I cannot begin to describe all my ex did to me. People that know my  story say I could be on Oprah. No thanks... I do not want to relive it.

      The Lord will give you all you have lost and more. I do not know why we have to walk these valleys, some are so unfair. There is a lesson to be learned in it, I am sure of that.

      I am so sorry . I know your heart is shattered. Please add me as a friend. I would love to keep in touch with you.

      Evelyn, I would love to add you as a friend also.

      Maybe, the Lord allowed me to go through hell to be able to share and help other women who are walking down that road. Whatever the reason is, I am glad to be here talking to you both.

      Take Care !!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lovehearts wrote Oct 27, 2008
    • thanks for the encouraging words darla5.  i am affiliated with the woman’s opportunity center in my area for support and i am amazed at the stories out there of other women the story is the same but the names are changed.  we think we are building a future with soneone and sacrifice all and then our world is turned upside down.  my faith has certainly given me the strength to walk through this and i trust in my Lord that He has a better plan for me.

      blessings !!!



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