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OK...I’ve never done anything like this before so bear with me.  

Just short of a year ago my mom was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer.  While she and I were not as close as maybe we should have been we had many of the same interests...crafts, family history, music.  

Anyway, the diagnosis was received on Feb 29, 2008, and we were told six-months to a year.  Well,  she didn’t make a month.  On March 21, 2008, she lost her fight.  She left behind my dad of 44 years, my younger sister, both our husbands and four terrific grandkids.

I’ve been trying to figure out what I could have done to possibly make our relationship different.  Over the past 10 months I think I finally figured it out.  There was probably nothing I could have done different.  The relationship I had with her was nothing like the one she had with my sister.  For the longest time I struggled with that but I think I finally have accepted it.  

The say “time heals” and you know...I think it’s true.  Sure, I still think of her but I know that she’s looking down on me with acceptance of how I’m living my life without her.  I also know that if I need something I can call on her and she’ll guide me.  

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her but you know what?  I used to think about her everyday anyway.  I love you mom and I’m proud that you were my mom.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • Ann...I am very sorry about the loss of your mother.  I wish I could say it’s easy but it’s not and it is something we all have to experience unless we go before they do.  On the positive note....time does heal.  My father will be dead 11 years this coming Easter which just so happens to be the exact date he died..April 12, 1998.  After the first year it seemed like it had just happened..but as time goes on...it seems like forever. For me anyway.  I miss my father so much but if God gave him back to me just way he was when he died I was say “no thank you“...he is much better off with you.  The good news is..I will see him again one day and I take a tremendous amount of comfort in knowing that.  That is why I live my life the way God would have me...I strive for it anyway...but I do want to see my father again.  My mother has alzheimers and does not really know me anymore. So in a way I have already lost her....but it will all be okay.  I will see them again one day.  Take one day at a time....and live.........



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • My mom died three years ago from breast cancer that had spread to her brain and spine. She lasted much less time than the oncology doctors said, too. Being sad is normal, being glad and appreciative is too. But don’t beat yourself up searching for answers you will never know. Be content knowing you were loved, and she knew you loved her.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dennie05 wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • My mom also died of pancreatic cancer in dec 2007.  I think of her often, my family and I will say something like ....that looks like something grandma would like or wear....we laugh about times we had together and go on.  It seems to be the hardest when you see other people in the same situation (I guess because it brings back those memories of when they are so sick) and the helplessness you feel.  I was just in a movie (for the life of me...I can’t remember which one) and it had a scenes of mother/daughter relationships.  My own daughter (she’s is 18)....just knew it was killing me...reached over and held my hand. It’s great to have a mother...but also great to be a mother.  Time does heal and you go on...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Jan 25, 2009
    • beautifully put ladies! i agree with what they have said..

      i have not lost my momita, however she is very ill, and im not sure how much time she has.. i do know that when i moved here to PA 2 years ago, i did so with her blessing..

      our relationship has never been good.. last may, my children and i did a surprise visit, and you know, it was a very healing, and redemption took place!now our relationship is better than ever!

      i did lose my daddy 15 years ago.. he was my rock, loving me unconditionally always..*TIME* does heal all wounds.. yes i miss him, yes i think about him everyday, and i know he is looking down, and smiling because i am making it!

      out of my 3 children, my oldest is the only one who knew papa.. because her and i have kept him alive in our hearts, and talk about him, my younger children know him..

      thank you for sharing your heart felt post, and know we are here in anyway to give a listening ear, or a shoulder to use!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jan 25, 2009
    • I’m so sorry I know I’m lucky I still have both my parents - we talk daily and every year I take them away for 2 weeks so we have full on us time ....

      I’m a huge coward I try not to think about a time when they will not be on hand for guidance and just being my mum & dad.

      My heart reaches out to you



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Jan 25, 2009
    • I lost my mom to breast cancer in 1990. Time does heal. I was fortunate to have a good relationship with her but there was alot of dysfunction growing up and her death spurted a healing journey for me with many things in my childhood. I also lost my father in law in 1997 to pancreatic cancer and it was a true loss in every sense of the word. My FIl was my best friend. He was a very wise person. Time does heal but the hole they left is still there.



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