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I gave myself the end of this year to get out and regain my freedom, Some might know my story some might not, It is a longggggggggggg story about 25 years of hell. I have made a list of things to get done so I can move out.
1. finish my book with my editor.
2. Hide as much money as I can.
3. Buy things I will need when I do get out with out him noticing, Put everything in big storage caners
4. Make copy’s of important paper. so I can have them to file my divorce
5 find a way to get a car because I do not have one
6. get a cell phone
9.when it is closer to the end of the year find an apartment for me to rent. pay two months rent so I can find a job once out.
10. find a good attorneys

If any one know what else I need to add to the list let me know
, I can use any support I can get
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Member Comments

    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Feb 16, 2011
    • Hi Janice,  

      I’m so sorry to hear you‘re facing this and hope the best for you.  

      Open a checking account in your name only as soon as you can. Ask a friend or family if you can have the bank statements mailed to their address so he never sees them. I’d suggest a PO box, but you may not have the money for it.  

      Think of everything you could sell of yours with a monetary value that he won’t notice missing.  

      Definitely make copies of all important documents of financials and put them where he’s not going to find them. Include a copy of your marriage license for your attorney.  

      Annie is right about you may want to use the anonymous option here for questions and correspondence, and change or add a password on your computer.  

      Hugs,
      Cathie



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Feb 16, 2011
    • Get a credit card in your name only.  

      The second you leave, withdraw as much money as you can from your joint checking and savings accounts.

       Anything you buy on a joint credit card before you leave, he has to pay half of the bills for.  You can get money at essentially 50% off right before you leave by buying stuff at Land’s End on the joint credit card; have it shipped to a friend’s house, keep receipts and boxes it came in. Buy this stuff the night before you leave and cancel the credit card the next day so he can’t rage at you about it or charge up a bunch of stuff that you have to pay half of. The day you‘re leaving, cancel all credit cards you two of you have.  (Keep the one in your name only for credit reference.) After you’ve moved out, return all the stuff to Land’s End and request a check to your new address rather than reimbursement on the joint credit card you paid for it with.  

      Pack up breakables you wish to keep (dishes, crystal)and take it to family/friends for safekeeping.  If you don’t want these valuables, ship them to a company call Replacements Inc and they will buy them from you (check out the Internet for the website and make sure they are interested in your patterns).  I sold all my wedding china this way.  

       Try to buy a car with a loan signed by both of you.  He’ll be responsible for half the loan post divorce.

      Get the pets, if there are any, out of harm’s way before you leave.  

       Don’t forget to ask for spousal support from the second you leave until the day the divorce is settled.

      After you‘re gone, do not believe a word he says about anything!  Be prepared to keep yourself safe.  Maybe stay with friends or relatives for a while.

      Good luck!



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Feb 16, 2011
    • Do not get the apartment before you leave!!!!  Way too big a risk that background checks and such will get back to your husband.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Feb 18, 2011
    • I have to agree with Anne about the apartment. If you‘re wanting to prepare without him knowing of it, don’t do anything that could alert him to your intentions.  

      Cathie



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