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pic     In all honesty, I love being an older woman.  

First of all, I have noticed a huge change in the way people act toward me. (Not my friends, we all act the same toward each other.) But acquaintences and people when I’m out and about running errands. I have no idea why, but I get a lot more positive attention with my white hair and wrinkles than I ever did as a younger woman with red hair and no wrinkles! And the attention is not condescending. It’s sweet and helpful.  

Now this could be that I live in a town where everyone is generally nice anyway. You‘re driving, someone will always let you into their lane. But still, I was in New York a few weeks ago and renting a car, and the guy gave me the best directions, and had me repeat the directions to make sure I got them right, and was just the sweetest person.

Also, supermarket check-out people talk to me more, and we laugh together; I’m more comfortable with my apartment neighbors; when I travel there is always a nice husky guy ready to help me put my carry-on in the overhead bin (when I was younger, this didn’t happen so much - maybe you guys have had better experiences).  

Here’s one possible reason: I think I’m radiating more “comfort” and ease at my age, than I ever did when I was in my 20’s and 30’s. Okay, and ‘40s. That’s my last offer.

I was a nervous young woman. Although I tried to keep my anxiety to myself, I do believe in “vibes,” and I think people picked up on my angsty vibes.

Also as a young woman, I had issues with men. In short, they scared the bejeebers out of me (except for men in my family and of course my beloved late husband, Mike).  

Whatever that was about, now that I’m older, men are nice to me but there is not that undertone of whatever it is men have an undertone of. I love that that part of my life is done. Lived it, got the t-shirt, and have some great journal entries.  

Yes, I would have preferred that Mike and I could have shared our years together, but he was called Home sooner than me, and I would prefer to wait to see him on the Other Side than to have to deal with miscellaneous men on this side while I’m waiting.

So, yes, I’ve got “stuff,” just like everyone else. But I’d rather have “stuff” as an older woman because I’ve had the time and experience to have learned how to deal with things better than I could, say, 20 years ago.

Do any of you, my FabSisters, notice being treated differently at different ages?

Peace,
Suzann
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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jun 18, 2010
    • That was a great blog, Suzann. I don’t think I’m there yet with the comfort in  myself. But I do believe that when we‘re nice and polite to others they treat us, for the most part, in kind. I smile and chat with strangers regardless of how I’m feeling at the moment. After all, it’s not their fault if I’m having an “off” day. But you probably are getting back exactly what you‘re giving. I bet you‘re a pretty nice person and you are treated as such.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 18, 2010
    • Yes I have with my gray strands showing more and more now the younger generation at my job is now begging to call me moma’ Denise lol.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Jun 18, 2010
    • For those of you in your 40s, you are beginning to feel the confidence that comes with knowing you’ve been there and done that. I realized decades ago that the only person’s opinion that really truly matters should be your own and that’s that. One of the women at work called me the “real-est person” she’s ever known because I say what I mean and mean what I say. The young women call me Miss and the older ones (younger than me) call me Ma.

      I feel more confident in myself now than I did in my 20s, 30s and 40s. It’s in my smile, it’s in my walk and it’s in my talk. Men never bother me, they’ve chased me but I never allow myself to get caught. I enjoy their company and those expecting me to be dependent on them were definitely in for a rude awakening. To me marriage is a partnership, a give and take, two whole souls making a greater whole entity. Men are intimidated by independent women! TOUGH!  

      Now that I’m half a century, I don’t cover up what I’ve earned. Society calls men with gray hair distinguished, and women with gray hair - old. That’s a double standard I won’t tolerate. My gray hair is silver threads of wisdom, and my wrinkles are the tracks of life well lived. Older women are elegant, confident and will give the younger ones reason to look forward to their later years, not fear them.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Jun 18, 2010
    • What fabulous observations and comments! Wow, I just love the women I’m privileged to know on this site. You all are brilliant. I learn a lot every time I turn on the computer and come here.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Jun 20, 2010
    • What getting older has done for me is given me the confidence to be myself. I am not here to impress anyone, my hair is dyed and funky, which allows me looks from those more normal people. They dont kno how I am brave enough to pull it off! they are doing the normal, in the box type of thing, and dont really kno what to think of me.
      I like my aggressivness and rowdiness. I am having the time of my life and dont really care to be NORMAL.

      People need to wake up and realize its the ride not the destination that is important. Have fun with stuff, be off the wall, after all this is no dress rehearsal!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Jun 21, 2010
    • You‘re right, Vicky, “this is no dress rehearsal.” You sound like a totally fun person!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kisbel65 wrote Aug 23, 2010
    • Suzann,

      I have read several of your post and I have to say I am very impressed by what I have read. One comment in particular resonated with me, “I was a nervous young woman. Although I tried to keep my anxiety to myself, I do believe in “vibes,” and I think people picked up on my angsty vibes”— that sounds like me since my teens. I am currently in perimenopause and more anxious than ever, so your post gave me hope. Do you believe that you were anxious your entire life and then after menopause your anxiety went away? I have heard that can happen  (a friend of mine swears that after menopause she is “more like a man” with less emotions), but I not sure that will happen for me since I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder in my teens or has it just been excess hormones all these years?



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