Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]


  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

We all know the routine.  The charity envelop arrives.  I "should" write a check for those poor undernourished children.  Or maybe I "should" get on that exercise equipment that has been sitting there gathering lots of dust.

Here is the problem with "should."  We know it's better for us and for the world if we do it, but sometimes we just can't seem to do it or just don't want to do it.  Sometimes we are too tired to get on that treadmill or we just don't feel like giving.

So, in the interest of simplicity, why not just simply DO OR DON'T?’

Forget playing the "shoulds" out in our heads, just make a decision and let go after that.

Yes, I want to write that check.  Then do it.

No? Toss that letter in your circular file.  That simple.
No workout today?  No problem, just let go of that giant "should" in your head. And relax.

Shoulds do us no good.  They take up space in our heads and crowd out our thoughts, leaving us overwhelmed and angry with ourselves.  Try this 3-step method instead.

When a should attacks your mind:

1.Reframe the sentence, focusing on your options, not judgments.  "I could give a donation, or I could skip it this time."

2.Decide.  Now.  "I think I will skip it today."

3.Back yourself up.  "It's fine that I am not donating."

4.Move on.  Stop all thoughts about that donation and instead, congratulate yourself on making a decision.  

Easy.  See how good it feels to leave some space open in your head away from all those upsetting negative thoughts.

Head over to my website for easy to use tips and strategies including free downloads!  Go to


Member Comments