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For almost 10 years I have been perfecting my image at the office.  I have the reputation of being a bad ass bitch with cojones bigger than any of the guys.  I can be as empathetic as the next guy, but all the employees know not to mess with me.  I am tough.  I am professional.  

Then today happens.  My boss, a 60-ish year old man, says I don’t look happy.  And what do I do?  I burst out crying.  Can you believe it?  Standing in the middle of the copy room I bust out in freaking tears.  Oh - and not just a little teary eyed, oh no.  We‘re talking full bore UGLY crying.  Oh...I’m f-i-i-i-i-n-e.  Really.  Sniff.  He looked at me like I had grown a second head or somthing.  The poor man stood there with his mouth hanging open and his eyes bugged out.  I could see the wheels spinning in his head.  WTH just happened here?  So what does he do?  He apologizes.  He tells me he’s sorry for upsetting me.  WHAT??

That poor guy.  He got caught somehwere between a PMS/pre-menopausal mood swing and a horrible fibromyalgia pain flare.  Mix in an insurmontable amount of work stress and stir until mixed well.  Then stand back, as the concoction is explosive.  Nitroglycerin has got nothing on me.  I went from zero to hysterical crazy woman in .3 seconds!  It’s a world record.  I think my boss was burned in the afterburn.  Poor guy.  Stand back everybody.  she’s got a hot flash and she’s gonna BLOW!

If I remember correctly, this is worse than that horrible morning after feeling.  That feeling you get when your sex drive got in the way of your common sense.  How will I face my boss tomorrow?  Well....I solved that problem by calling in sick.  Procrastination is a beautiful thing!  don’t want to deal with it?  Just wait until Monday.  Maybe he’ll forget!  Maybe my impression of a inmate at the institution will fade from his memory by then and I can go back to my former status of Queen Bitch.  

Is there a prayer for mental cleansing?  Could I ask God to please erase Mike’s memory of everything that happened today?  Could I induce just a smidgen of amnesia?  Maybe I could tell him I was inhabitated by aliens?  Temporary insanity is close to the truth.  Would it ruin my image if I used the PMS/Menopause card?

I think I’ll go have a some more pain meds and a little dark chocolate.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie wrote Sep 11, 2008
    • Oh my goodness you poor thing.  

      Honestly though- i don’t think that this one burst (no matter how bad you think it was) will really hurt your reputation.

      Go in there strong and don’t look back!!

      They will respect you even more when you walk in there with your head up!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Sep 11, 2008
    • Funny story for a reader, but I know you‘re not laughing.

      Why not come to work and announce that you always wanted to be an actress and decided to see if you had talent.

      Let us know how that goes.

      Yana

      p.s. If it’s any cancelation we are all there with you it’s called being fabulous.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 11, 2008
    • I love Yana’s suggestion! You know this could actually work out pretty well for you. You already have a reputation at the office, right? Well, add “unpredictable” and they will all be on their toes, even the boss. You‘re in control! I love it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ladybug wrote Sep 12, 2008
    • Chocolatier has the right idea. You don’t owe them an apology or an explanation. Would you feel sorry for a man in you office if he got bit by the “bitch“? I’m a proud bitch on wheels too when I’m working in a tough environment. Just smile and carry on. If anyone asks you could say (or snap at them)...‘what, you never saw pms before?’ That should scare the hell out of ‘em.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Queenbee wrote Sep 12, 2008
    • You know, it WAS kind of funny.  It’s so out of character for me....
      I appreciate everyone’s insight! Human, huh? That’s a tough one. At least I was wearing great shoes for the meltdown! It’s the little things, right?! I think most women that have been in Corporate America for a long time and have grown tired of banging their head on the glass ceiling can lay claim to at least one meltdown. I can usually maintain until I get out of the office. I guess my emotions were just a little too close to the surface yesterday.
      I wish I had a picture of my boss standing there staring at me....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Sep 13, 2008
    • OH  my gosh....I had a meltdown myself this week at work.  I didn’t burst into tears, but I did have them running out of the corners of my eyes as I sat in my chair in a training class at the financial institution that I work for.  There is a trainer in there (the warden) that is so sarcastic and I think she has something against me..but anyway....she upset me so bad that I thought I would burst into tears and I contemplated in just packing up my things right then and there and walking out.  But I didn’t.  I finally was released from that horrible jail cell.  I called my manager on the way out and she met me for lunch.  She informs me that other people and managers have had trouble from her as well....mainly her rude, sarcastic personality.  I told my manager I would learn the computer system on my own if I had to be subjected to the warden again.  She let me know right quick that she would be handling the warden.  All afternoon I felt like I had been crying for days....absolutely drained.  The reaction I had to this person was so out of character with me that it really scared me.  Something is going on with me....and next week I find out.  If it’s not my hormones....then I need to seek mental health.
      So Queenbee...I know how you feel.  

      You know...you do not owe anyone an explanation of that day.  Go to work...hold your head up high....and have a super day.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ladybug wrote Sep 15, 2008
    • Don’t start thinking you‘re crazy....that’s what mood swings are all about. My grandmother and her sisters used to talk about older family member’s conversations that they remembered. They say that the women in my family used to commit suicide over what we know now as menopausal symptoms. We have heavy menstrual cycles, difficult child birth experiences and hard menopause if not early menopause.  

      I know that feeling after a mood swing. Like having no control, weakness and vulnerability. But we are women who know what it is, maryclark. You‘re not alone! You’ve got to learn to laugh at it.
      I cried over a laxative commercial on the radio...o.k.?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Sep 15, 2008
    • Thanks ladybug!  Believe me...I have laughed about it and do...but would like to get some type of control over it and I will.  It’s just all starting to happen with me..and it’s foreign.  I’ll adjust.  But thanks so much for your input.  It’s great to have support.



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