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Question

Most of my life I have wondered why men have this pre-occupation with the almighty "blow job". It can be a subject of great contention for some women. My husband has told me on numerous occasions that this is a subject that men discuss AND one of his fellow associates stated one day: "Women would rule the world, if they would just give their husband's the blow job that they want." Hmmmmmmm...why is this? What is the fascination, the pre-occupation...the importance of it? Even the women's magazines like Cosmo and Glamour are trying to convince us women that this is something that we should be doing on a regular basis. If all you want to do is see naked and press the flesh...why is this such an important thing also? Do men really talk about this with each other?

I know that my younger counterparts do not have as many hang-ups about this act...but as a woman who was born in the late 1950's, I and others of time period were trained by our mothers to never consider this...this act was one that prostitutes and bad girls did. So, what do we do now that it is common practice?  ...Denise


Men And Breasts

Answer

You ask a very good question, Denise, so let me respond to it in a direct and succinct manner...men are wild about getting their whistles blown.  And there are quite a few reasons for this.  First of all, it feels really good.  There's something about being enveloped by the warm wetness of an insistent mouth, that really gets our blood boiling.  "But don't you get the same sensation being nestled inside a moist vagina?"  Yes...if your vagina has a tongue.  You see, oral sex is more of an ensemble piece than is vaginal sex.  A good blow job requires the mutual cooperation of lips, tongue, saliva, hand, and on very rare occasions, a receptive gullet.  Tough for your nether regions to compete with such a well-oiled oral team.

Secondly, oral sex is virtually stress-free for us.  Unlike regular sex where we have to be concerned about being hard enough, big enough, and long-lasting enough, "lingual love" carries with it no such angst-inducing pressures.  We are literally free to relax and enjoy ourselves, knowing that our orgasm will arrive at the appropriate time, no matter how soon that is.

Thirdly, in oral sex, the voyeur in us really has a chance to come into play.  Unless we have mirrors or video recording devices in our bedroom, we never really get to visually experience "normal sex" when we are actively participating in it.  But with oral sex, we have the opportunity to see you work your magic or our private parts.  We get to watch you pleasure us, which only further enhances our enjoyment of the act.  It's like we're starring in our own little pornographic film...and you know how much we enjoy our dirty movies.

Fourthly, oral sex is all about recreation, not procreation.  The goal is pleasure not progeny.  In other words, it's an opportunity to have a good time without the risk of eighteen years of financial commitment.  It's orgasm without a price tag – and we really like that.

And lastly, your willingness to unselfishly "service us" in this manner makes us feel good about ourselves.  You're catering to our needs without demanding anything in return.  Thus oral sex is a treat, of sorts, a little bonus given lovingly to us by someone who wants nothing more than to make us feel good.  And what's not to like about that.

I am not, however, saying that you must engage in this sexual practice in order to satisfy your man.  If the idea of engaging in such an act repulses you, and your vagina has been sexually doing all the heavy lifting for years without complaints from your man, then "why fix it if it ain't broke?"  On the other hand, if you're looking to spice up your sexual repertoire with a performance piece that's sure to earn you a standing ovation from your man's sexual apparatus, then a blowjob is the ticket.  It's the perfect gift for all occasions, and there's very little chance he'll want to exchange it, re-gift it, or return it for store credit.

If you have any questions about men, relationships, dating or a related topic, please feel free to email them to me at: *david@EveryManSeesYouNaked.com*. I will try to answer as many as I possibly can here in my column.

(C) 2008 David M. Matthews.  All Rights Reserved.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Sep 17, 2008
    • Denise,  I commend you for asking.

      How great is it to have David shed some light on the most intimate topic.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Sep 17, 2008
    • I GET IT NOW! THANKS DAVID! (my husband will be thanking you too! lol!)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Phillips wrote Sep 18, 2008
    • Funny that you post the banana picture. A few years ago, one of my good friends told me that her husband was turning 50 soon and she felt that never giving him oral sex was going to haunt her one day. They’d been married for 15 years already so I’m not sure why she was so neurotic about it. However, she insisted that I tell her how to do it....um....this was awkward. I am not reserved about many things, but my sex life is fairly private!! I wasn’t about to SHOW her...we‘re friends but not that close...ha ha....but she said she had no clue. So I told her to get a banana and stop worrying about gagging. The worry would make her heave. I am laughing.  The night of his birthday they went to a romantic little hotel up north. At about 10pm I got a call....he’s screaming THANK YOU and she’s saying “I DID IT“. Was this romantic? NO. Did I need to get a thank you at that particular moment? NO....but it did make me laugh. I’ve never looked at a banana the same.

      As far as women not liking it or being unsure—-it’s not the end of the world....it’s actually awesome having that much control and making your partner worship you. If just for that moment.... ;)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wife2gregg wrote Sep 21, 2008
    • My husband and I both laughingly enjoyed the man’s perspective, with my hubby applauding all the way.  Thankfully, what’s “good for the goose is also good for the gander“.  :) At least at my house :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amazingrace wrote Sep 21, 2008
    • My opinion - much more intimate than sex - Great info David! I will take you up on your offer and email you a few questions of my own!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Link wrote Sep 22, 2008
    • Nothing suprising here.  Men wanting/loving oral sex...that’s old news.  Of course they want it and love it.  They become like a little puppy when you do it too.  I enjoy oral sex why is it any surpise that a man wants to enjoy the same.  I haven’t been feeling up to it lately...but I might just have to surprise my man to remind him of what he has with me. :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ramccray wrote Sep 23, 2008
    • Oral sex is a very important part of a sexual relationship in my book. I enjoy it very much and my man goes crazy.
      I was raised to believe that sex, period, was something only “bad girl“s” did. Imagine my surprise on my wedding night. I am extremely glad my husband introduced me to oral sex. Don’t knock it til you try it girl’s. “Swallow”  that pride just a little, your relationship with your man could change dramatically.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Oct 3, 2008
    • My Momma(A perfect lady)  told me on my wedding day, as she was adjusting my fingertip white veil.  She said, a little advice for a happy marriage.  Comming from someone that has seen marriages fall apart, and someone that has a great marriage.

      Be a perfect lady by day, a perfect mother, homemaker, and wife.  

      In bed she said, dont be a lady... be a the biggest slut in bed, you can imagine.  She said, I know this sounds odd but its true.  I was a blushing bride that day thanks to mom.  My dads advice... tell me you dont want to do this and to hell with everyone Ill walk you out of here and back you up one hundred percent.  Should have taken that advice too.

      I did exactly that.. and both my exes.. call me crying about what ever came over them to divorce me.  Can they ever have me back.. (Hell NO) and how lucky the man in my life is.  And can they have at least my Lazanga recipe.. please !!! ( NOPE !!)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lues1 wrote Oct 5, 2008
    • Never thought I would be writing about BJ’s on the internet but here goes.The advice her mother gave her on her wedding day was great and if you are a slut in the bedroom your man will not have to look elsewhere.My husband is always amazed at my eagerness to do this but never complains. Communication is also a big part that enhance sit for both. Ladies who are not experienced start slow and do what you can, experiment until you find your niche and he will think of you a little differently. Ask for what you want and you just might get it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Oct 5, 2008
    • Thanks Lues1... Your right about communication.   So funny about what you wrote about never talking about BJ’s..  

      Momma was right !



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Phillips wrote Oct 6, 2008
    • I love this....especially not giving away the recipe. What comes around goes around. I had a no-take-back policy with my ex husband...thank goodness I stuck to my guns. In the 7+ years I’ve been divorced, I haven’t regretted my decision once.
      As far as the BJs go....I so agree with the lady vs wild woman thing. I also want my guy to be a professional (but not without a sense of humor) and a great Dad (he’s both!) but in the bedroom, I love that he’s a passionate wild man.

      There’s something to be said about having an awesome sex life that no one would ever imagine because you both look like you are scout leaders in public. ;)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deovolente wrote Oct 13, 2008
    • When I was 18, I was so innocent that I thought you pursed your lips and blew on his appendage!!!  hahaha  lol
      Now, at 42 I can tell you that I LOVE being a BJ girl that knows that when I take on my role with my husband, I can make him scream for more! Now that’s a GREAT feeling!
      And for all you that have the ability to uhmmmmm “take in the protein” while giving your husband the thrill of his life...this is over-the-top for most guys!!!  So come on gals!  You CAN do it!!!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Oct 13, 2008
    • Hot Ladies.... all of us.. OUCH !!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lues1 wrote Oct 13, 2008
    • Protein shakes are all part of it and a much appreciated ending.Before I remarried I dated a guy who had never had anyone do that him until he had orgasm so I surprised him and did that on a great romantic weekend.He said no one has ever done something so intimate just for me with no concern for herself and stated he woudld never forget.It was quite sweet but a girl can’t help it if she can suck and egg out of a bottle! LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sktrmom wrote Oct 17, 2008
    • My mother told me the same “exact” thing. This came from a woman that never explained sex to me when I was growing up!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lues1 wrote Oct 17, 2008
    • That must have been nice to have some guidance from a parent.I learned everything in the backseat of a car and then in a cheap apartment. But gee no complaints here learning is half the fun!!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Nov 5, 2009
    • All I have to add is a “secret” I was told and don’t remember who said it. I am not too crazy about the bitter taste of protein but it can be enhanced by consuming pineapple juice more than alcohol. Get him to drink it for at least a week and then tell us what You think.

      Oral sex is probably safer for my hearttongue out



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tammy Slater-Kendrick wrote Nov 11, 2009
    • I just kind of stumbled onto this older post, but have to add a little “toast” I heard once. I believe it’s Jamaican:

      Here“s to woman, creature divine.
      Blooms every month, bears every nine.
      She’s the only creature, this side of hell
      that can take the fruit from the nut,
      without breaking the shell!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Cappelletti wrote Apr 6, 2010
    • Love the question, the answer and all the great comments.  If you are in a committed relationship relax, enjoy and experiment.  Your level of intimacy will explode.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Timbuktu wrote Apr 9, 2010
    • Here’s a little thing to consider. Know why oral cancer is rising in young non-smokers and non-drinkers? Yep, oral sex (both ways) is a serious contender for culprit. It’s the HPV 16 and HPV 18 the same that can cause cervical cancer.  

      Timbuktu



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Author S C Cunningham wrote Mar 24, 2013
    • wonderful piece, made me smile, thank you, you may add that it is also delish fun for (some of) us women happy



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