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As I have pointed out many times before, men are visual creatures.  We see something, and if we find it to be at all sexually appealing, we are apt to become aroused.  Consequently, I think most would agree that sight is a primary sexual stimulator for the male of the species. What may surprise many people is that the sense that stands second-in-line for the title of "most likely to create a ruckus in our lower regions" is... sound . Sure touch  is important to us - but that requires active participation by a partner (or in solitary times, by our own helping hand).  In the case of sound, however, sometimes all we have to do is overhear something mildly provocative, whether intentionally or accidentally, to cause our penises to stand up and take notice.  And so powerful is this effect upon us, that what we hear doesn't even have to be actual words or sentences.  Sometimes grunts, groans, pants or moans can impact us just as much.

It should come as no shock, therefore, that many men find "vocal" partners to be particularly exciting.  Hearing our sexual co-conspirator's enthusiastic, extemporaneous verbal utterances gets us hot.  And if your gasps and heavy breathing are punctuated with brief, lewd language - so much the better.  In other words, many of us really get off on your talking dirty.  

It is important to note, however, when employing "naughty language," that not all words are equally...potent.  Use of clinical terms like "penis," "vagina," "breasts," "testicles," or heaven forbid, "sexual intercourse," while effectively communicating your meaning or desire, do very little to "heat things up" when spoken in the midst of an intimate encounter.  Rather it is the usually-forbidden terms, those four-letter vulgarities that are banned from the public airwaves, that prove to be the most effective and therefore, stimulating.  And in the language of passion, "brief" is always better.  "Lick me,"  "harder," or "yeah, like that," are always preferable to lengthier, perhaps more literate exclamations, like, "I find what you are doing to be quite stimulating and if you continue I sense a climax is in the offing."  In other words, dirty talk should be quick, fun, obscene, often grammatically incorrect, and above all...nasty.  It is, in fact, the graphic, apparently unrestrained nature of these outbursts that is responsible for their "sizzle."

It is interesting to note, that for some reason, even otherwise "innocent" terms can, when properly used, be sexually charged.  Unassuming words like, "wet," "juicy," "more" or "coming" can be totally titillating when correctly utilized in the heat of passion.  And while spritzing Fluffy with a hose will certainly annoy and anger your cat, in other circumstances exhortations about a wet pussy might have significantly more positive implications.

So what does all this mean?  Well, if you were looking to spice up your sex life, or make a hot encounter even steamier, you now have an additional tool in your sexual arsenal.  Or if you were just seeking further verification that men are "pervs" and get turned on by the weirdest stuff...your suspicions have unquestionably been confirmed.  In either case, you now know that any inclination you may have had to "add audio" to your lovemaking, is definitely "right-minded" as far as guys are concerned.  We applaud your asserting yourself and heartily encourage you to leave the silent majority and become the gutter-mouthed girl of our dreams.

If you have any questions about men, relationships, dating or a related topic, please feel free to email them to me at: I will try to answer as many as I possibly can here in my column. If you are interested in a more comprehensive compendium of musings on the male mind, check out David's [Link Removed] 

(C) 2009 David M. Matthews.  All Rights Reserved.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jul 20, 2009
    • So what happens if you say accidently yell out another man’s name? Does he even notice?  

      And I guess yelling out “shi*” probably isn’t going to do it either?

      Another great post!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Jul 20, 2009
    • Calm down, boy !

      Oh, I suppose that’s not what you wanted to hear!@!  LOL

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Jul 20, 2009
    • Great post, I am totally uninhibited vocally, not so much with talk but more of the gutteral moaning and whatnot. I can’t help it and don’t worry too much unless there are children/people in the next room, don’t want them thinking mommy is getting killed. I have been complimented on this, and have been told by previous partners that they enjoy it, and that it is a big turn on. The dirty talking for me doesn’t feel right, but I have gone the 4 letter word route on more than one occasion and that has also been appreciated.

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