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A new survey has reinforced what many already believe men do not listen, women nag and couples argue most about money and parenting.

The survey commissioned by Relationship Services, and funded by Telecom’s Community Connection programme and the Lottery Grants Board, found 78 percent of couples experience ongoing disagreements.

Of those, 40 percent disagreed about money, 31 percent about work pressures, 29 percent about time pressures, 26 percent bickered over housework and 25 had disagreements about sex.

Relationship Services spokeswoman Hilary Smith said most people learn to deal with disagreements and those who seek counselling usually do so for the issues that arise regularly.

“Even in the happiest, longest lasting of relationships, couples disagree.”

The survey found couples in newer relationships (3-7 years) argued more than those in long term relationships (over 21 years).

It also revealed that couples with children disagreed more than those without.

Eighty six percent of people with children at home were likely to argue compared with 68 percent of those without children.

“Having children at home intensifies the stresses on parents but it also makes a difference to the way people deal with disagreements. Parents were more likely to take a team approach...because more is at stake,” Ms Smith said.

Of the men questioned 30.7 percent said nagging was a problem with their partners while 40.5 percent of women said not listening was.

“We were not surprised that the survey found a difference between men and women around communication.”

Ms Smith said the disagreements were a normal part of a relationship.

“For a quarter of people, disagreements and how they dealt with them actually had a positive impact on how they felt about their relationship and their partner.”

Source men


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Jul 9, 2008
    • well, from the stand point of a woman married almost 30 years, we rarely fight.  disagreements aren’t that common either.  I guess we’ve been together so long, we not only finish what the other says, we know what we‘re going to say before it leaves our brains! LOL

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie wrote Jul 19, 2008
    • Hi Dana,

      You will have that level of comfort it just takes time and patience... and by no means am I saying that it is easy, but it is definitely beautiful to be in a relationship with somebody you love for so long.

      I am so interested in hearing about you being married to your husband 2x. What made you get back together? I hope you write a blog about this!!! : )

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leeann wrote Aug 19, 2008
    • I have been married for 23 years. I met my husband when I was 19. I think having kids does intensifie stress on a marriage. My husband and I have great marriage. I love hanging out with husband. We get along very well. The trouble we have is our son doesn’t treat us to great these days. I have three other kids no problems with them. They are loving and kind and very helpful. If anyone is going through hard times raising a child. please let me know. Thanks ladies for all your stories.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Aug 19, 2008
    • I think it’s important to set boundaries and even more important to be consistent about them.

      How old is he? Team sports and controlling friends always helped me raising my kids.

      Having said that it’s easier said than done.

      Lots of luck to you and your hubby.

      Don’t give up, they do outgrow their stages.


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      JOEY Robertson wrote Sep 10, 2008
    • I’m a nag, but I’m learning to talk to the dog.  She just loves to listen.  My husband laughs, and it is really helping our marriage of 25 years.

      I’ve learned that timing is important in talking with my husband.  I never approach him when he walks in the door.  I simply say, “Hi honey“.  He needs to relax because he talks with people all day.  

      We as parents are models for our children.  When we bicker or fight, they worry.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      L J wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • i think that men don't listen and that's why women do nag!!!estatic

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