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Cast of Characters:

Nick:  My Colorado born and bred husband, wilderness guide, rock climber, kayaker, kick ass skier, major risk taker.

Don:  Former Naval pilot, commercial pilot, skydiver, kick ass skier, Harley rider, major risk taker.

Randy:  Former pastry chef (I know this sounds wimpy but it's not), businessman, kick ass skier, rafter, major risk taker.

3 husbands and 3 wives, the best of friends, gathered together this past Friday night to christen Don and his wife's new condo with good friendship, good food and for the men...good Scotch.  A lot of Scotch.  A ridiculous amount of Scotch.

This is when the men turned into boys.

The men were in rare form, laughing, slapping each other on the backs, and doing your basic guy yukking it up.  We left for dinner in town and I, being the only non-drinker of the group, was the designated driver.  Don's wife Susie was sitting in front with me.

Suddenly Susie says, "That darn Don.  He's rolled down the window and has climbed onto the roof of the car and is hanging on for dear life!"

I thought she was joking.  I prayed she was joking.  She wasn't.  

I looked at the speedometer.  55 mph and alcohol soaked, testosterone on over-drive Don was on the roof of the car!  WTF?   I was suddenly regretting my decision to be sober.  

My heart was pounding.   I was slowly...ever so slowly putting the brakes on the car.  The men were screaming, "Don't stop!  Don't slow down!  You'll make it worse!"  We made it to the restaurant with Don's body intact (his mind was long gone) and I was not a happy camper.

Inside the restaurant, I chided Don for his foolish and reckless behavior and told him he shouldn't be making such risky alcohol induced decisions, especially when I was at the wheel.

Don looked met straight in the face, and although quite drunk said in the most sober of voices, "On the contrary Mary.  This had nothing to do with alcohol.  That little climbing onto the top of the roof was NOTHING compared to the many stunts I've pulled in my life.  I'll be damned if I don't live my life and live it to the fullest, and if I die in the process, then so be it!  Life is short and I'm going to enjoy it to the max!"

I didn't get it.  I thought I must be drunk because nothing he said made any rational or logical sense.   Nick and Randy all nodded enthusiastically with emphatic agreement.  I just scratched my head and thought, "These damn men.  How old are they, what kind of irresponsible decisions are they making?  They are fathers and husbands!  This is a definite regression.  This kind of behavior makes Peter Pan look bad".

On the way home, we turned off the 2-lane highway into the residential area the condo called home.  Once again, Don bellowed out, "Pull over!  We need to get on the roof of the car!"  As if in a trance, I pulled over.  There was no talking sense to these guys.  

I was grateful they were getting on the roof of the car while it was actually not in motion. I drove very carefully while these merry men were on the top of the roof yelling, whooping and hollering.  At one point, I could see Don sliding down the windshield of the car giving me a bird's eye view of the moon...well his moon, well actually his pale white rear end.

The windshield wiper and fluid were deployed only retaliation for this act of savageness and rudeness.

Once safely home, I looked at the Three Stooges.  

Getting ready to lecture them yet once again, I was stopped in my tracks.

I've never seen them look happier.  I've never seen them look more vibrant and young.  I've never seen them look so totally free and unencumbered.  And I looked at myself.  What a drag I'd been, what a Debbie Downer, what a dud.

Women make fun of the way their men need to play.  Men play golf, football, baseball, cards.  They play with cars, tools, and themselves.

I suddenly had a new appreciation for the playfulness of men.  They taught me something that night.  One should never grow old, one should never stop being a kid and one should never take oneself too seriously.

Boys will be boys and men will be boys...and, at the end of the day, that's a very good thing.

*I am fully aware of the obvious dangerous risks Don took that night.  From my point of view, I was the driver and would have been held liable had anything horrible happened. I was not happy about this. If you knew Don, and he is a rare man, he never felt that he was endangering himself (if you knew what he does in real life, you would understand).  And, all men involved are devoted husbands and fathers and possess actual intelligence.  No lecturing please...I’ve already done that.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Sep 19, 2008
    • Great story, can’t believe you survived this without a heart attack. Men....can’t live with them and can’t live without them.

      It’s funny how as years pass nothing really changes. Boys will be boys, regardless of how old they are.  

      What really amazes me is that even though men have their buddies that they consider their closest friends, the things they talk about vs the things we women talk about never cease to amaze me.

      We had my husbands h.s. friend visit us for few days. My husband took time off, spent almost two days with him. I took the guy to early dinner and drove him to the airport. Time spent together was maximum an hour and a half.

      When I got in bed that night, I told my husband how bad I feel for our friend. He was dumbfounded, “why?” he asked.

      I looked at him in disbelieve, “he is devastated“, I said.” His marriage is almost over, he is having an affair, his son is experimenting with drugs and his daughter married a guy he detests.”

      My husband looked at me in disbelieve. I was shocked, I said: “Excuse me, what the hell did you guys talk about for two days“, he said

      U.S. Open,  Economy, retirement.... I said, you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Kelly-Williams, M.A. wrote Sep 19, 2008
    • Yana, this is so true!  Your story is a perfect example of this.  When Nick came back from his camping trip, I said how was it?  What did you talk about?  Did you talk about your

      He was on the floor laughing.  “Hell no!  We just played.”

      This man is a deep soulful person, but when he gets around his friends, well, he’s just one of the stooges.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ebony Princess wrote Sep 19, 2008
    • That is too funny Yanna.  When I was reading your response, I remembered a story similiar to your story, when I was married.  My ex-husband had friends over for the super bowl and one of his friends had confided in me some things he was not pleased with in his marriage.  When he was gone, I asked my then husband what did he think about what George has said about his wife.  My husband was angry with me for having such an intimate conversation with his friend.  I lately looked at the big picture and realized that my husband probably felt very foolish that he didn’t have a clue of what was going on in his best friends life.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Sep 19, 2008
    • Men don’t tell each other their real issues because they think the other one has it all together. So it takes women like us to help them pull it together.

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