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Just when you think you have heard it all, along comes Mo'Nique!  Here is what she says about her marriage to Sid—“Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me?  Yes. That’s not a deal-breaker,” she says. “That’s not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let’s end the marriage.‘”

And according to US.Magazine.com she says "she wouldn’t call it quits even if he had numerous flings."

We are sorry Mo'Nique, but you and people like you send a terrible message to those who are married – to those who are in love.  You are plain wrong and your message is not supported by any research on we have conducted around the world!  Here's why.

We have studied marriage on six continents of the world for 27+ years.  We have interviewed successfully married couples in over 40 countries.  And we find absolutely no support for your notion of marriage anywhere in the world!  Period!

Mo'Nique talks about her "prior marriages."  The truth is this is a recurring theme.  People who fail at marriage multiple times now think they are experts at marriage.  Worse yet, because they are celebrities their greatly publicized lifestyle becomes a model for others to follow about fidelity, good marriage, trust, truth, and successful relationships.

Her so-called marriage does NOT reflect the formula for success we have found and reported in our new book, Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (Jossey-Bass/Wiley, 2010).  

Comments attributed to Mo'Nique are, in fact, the antithesis to what we know and have learned about great marriages around the world over nearly three decades of research on [Link Removed].  

The problem is – and because she is a "celebrity" based on her Academy Award nomination for the movie entitled Precious – people listen to her irrespective of her expertise or knowledge base about what makes for great marriages.  They listen to her because of her celebrity status.  Bad idea!

The fact is trust is at the core of successful and long-term marriages.  In our thousands of interviews over the years, happily married couples have told us repeatedly and with passion – they would never engage in infidelity, they would never cheat on the one they love.  The key core elements of the best marriages are trust, respect, truthfulness, togetherness, and kindness.  There is no getting around these core conditions and still have a successful marriage.

People like Mo'Nique are not only delusional about what is required for a successful marriage, they do a great disservice to people who are in love and who are contemplating marriage.  

If we have learned one lesson from our interviews on six continents of the world over these past nearly three decades of research – you do not "sleep around," cheat on your spouse, or engage in "flings" and stay happily married.  It hardly ever happens!  Period!

[Link Removed] in love and marriage.  Love well!

By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz

**For [Link Removed]  .


Doctors, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Mar 19, 2010
    • Open marriage would NEVER work for me!  Why get married if those are acceptable practices - multiple partners.  I’m surprised she wouldn’t be worried about a disease or him getting another pregnant.tongue out



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Robinesque wrote Mar 19, 2010
    • It won’t last long.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 19, 2010
    • I agree why get married and I don’t think it will last but also were is the commitment ?  

      It baffles me when people make these comments ......... they just sound dumb not cool



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 19, 2010
    • Hey, my opinion is, if they ‘think’ they can do it, then more power to them. As long as the others they are with are aware of the situation and not married themselves.

      Eventually, it will fall apart, but hey live and let live.

      Totally not for me...my hubby would be kicked to the curb if he even asked to do this!! lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Allinet48 wrote Mar 20, 2010
    • Thank you for this-my feelings exactly.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wookiemom09 wrote Mar 20, 2010
    • Knew 2 couples who preached “open” marriage to me and my first husband.  He was for it and I was not.  One couple divorced after 11 years as she feel for one of her flings, divorced him and is working on husband 3.  Other couple is in process of divorcing after discovering he gave his wife an STD and she is sterile.  She is battling depression and looking as surgery to see if her tubes can be opened back up. I do not believe this open marriage is positive for anyone.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Veggie wrote Mar 21, 2010
    • Wouldn’t work for me... or him.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cristina Corral wrote Mar 22, 2010
    • I would go after him first and then find the girl(s)!

      That is a deal-breaker as the deal of marriage is to be committed to one in every sense of the word.

      Never in a day would i even romaticize about something so foolish!

      What type of message are we sending to our young daughter and sons?

      Mo‘nique; your craft was oscar worthy but your personal beliefs stink on an Academy level!



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