Friday night, I felt so unattractive. I was in a bad mode and all of my fears and doubts were preying on me. My husband doesn’t know what to say or do during these times. He does his deer in the woods stance and stays still,just watching me. I couldn’t take it and I left to go to Walmart to get a few things I needed. On the way to Walmart I just started crying. My monthly, let everything loose cry. I got what I needed at Walmart and even sent a funny text message to my daughter because the woman in front of me in line had “DO DO” tatooed on her arm. Then on the way home, I cryed again. I was still crying when I got home. I wanted my husband to hold me and say that everything would be ok, but I know if he would have tried to hold me, I probably would have pulled away. The thing is when I am in this mode, I don’t know what I want and anything any one does will be wrong. When it is over I feel stupid. I think about it and ask myself what is wrong with me? I have these modes once a month, right before I have my monthly. The next day, we took the dogs to the park and our big dog pooed in the back seat and our little dog was very upset about it because once the big one pooed she tried to come over on his side. I laughed so hard I cried. I think my husband sighed a big sigh of relief.