So PETA thinks we need to spare cows the humiliation and drudgery of hooking their ninnies up to a pumping machine for hours at a time just so we can eat ice cream. They’ve asked Ben & Jerry’s to replace cow’s milk with human’s.

Hmm. Those poor cows probably started out young and trim, flouncing their perky udders for all those bulls to snort over. Then comes along some sweet talking dairy farmer, enticing cutie cow with an armful of alfalfa and a story about how he’s gonna turn her into the next Elsie. Next thing you now, she’s strapped to a machine that’s pumpin’ and suckin’ away for eight hours a day, seven days a week. After years of this torment, with her boombas dried up, shriveled and dragging in the hay, she’s turned out to pasture. Instead of Elsie, she ends up as Elmer.

Okay, PETA thinks it’s cruelty to suck a cow dry but okay for moms? Hmm, Why not. Kids have been doing that for years.