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HI guys I’m new to Fab40 but I’m really enjoying the blogs. I would like your input on something. I just came out of a 14 year relationship and finding it very hard to move on. My ex has since moved on about 1 week after I moved out. I’m 44, he’s 38 and now dating a 21 year old. I can’t get ove the fact that he moved on so quickly nor can I het over her age. She looks like a child to him and not much bigger than our 9yr old daughter. I haven’t forgiven him for it and I don’t think I can get pass it. I want to relocate to another island to put the distance between us and to try and start over because I’m afraid if I stay here I would only wait around. What should I do?




Member Comments

    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • hey honey everyone is different and men do move quickly it must be hard if you have a child and presumably see each other due to that and live in a small place.

      There is not set time so heal in your own time but you do need to find a distraction honey



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • He’s acting out in the same way a lot of men do. Many years ago when my first husband and I divorced he did the same thing and I have several friends whose ex’s took on youngsters as their first girlfriends. None of these relationships lasted long.

      Do you want him back if the opportunity presented itself?

      It might be a lot less hurtful for you to relocate yourself to a place where the chance of running into him is decreased.



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • You have to do whatever it takes to keep your own life moving forward.  If that means moving to a different island, go for it.



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • Eventually you will get past this and come out stronger and better for it! Move if you need to however you‘re feelings and emotions will travel with you. And how will it be for your daughter to be away from her dad?

      Heartbreak takes a while so I say try to find things that YOU enjoy doing or things you wanted to do but didn’t because of him or whatever.

      And DO you really want a man that prefers children to real women????

      Welcome BTW!



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Joanmarie wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • You need to do whatever it is that you need to do to make yourself strong and stay healthy.
      Your daughter will respect you for that.  It may take her a few years, but she will.

      Welcome to the site!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Charm167 wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • Thank you so much ladies I appreciate your honest comments. I really do feel it would be in my best interest to leave the island and put the distance between us.Right now I‘, still pretty much in love with him and can’t seem to shake it off. He plays on my vulnerability well and I find myself being place in a position where he wants me to accept her and play second fiddle. My daughter understands what I want to do and why; the factor in that is I would be taking her out of a private school to move to an out island where there are only public schools so that’s his argument. It has been affecting my health so I know I need to trylu do whats best for me.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • Ditto to what has already been said...heart



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