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I just need to vent.  This seems like the appropriate palce for now.  Soooo..., Mr . Romantic?

I just discovered my husband is Mr. Romantic.  While I can attest to the fact that we have had a few romantic moments in our relationship.  I would not give him that nickname.

However my husband feels as though that should be his nickname.  Why is this an issue?  Not because he shared this information with me.  I happened to look through in old cell phone and was able to see old emails. First red flag went up the other day when he took the phone out of storage to charge it.  Why?  I didn’t ask.  I just let it go.

Today I came home from work phone is all charged and on the mantle.  Why didnt I just leave it.  I don’t trust my husband as far as I can throw him.  So there is really no need to look.  I just wanted to see what was the reason for him charging the phone.  Assuming the last item he requested would be on the screen.  It wasn’t there were old appointments.  So, I just glanced thru the phone to see if I could determine anything.

Scroll, scroll, scroll nothing interesting.  Get to emails, heart sinks once again.  How many times in our relationship has my heart had this sinking feeling?  I am not sure I have lost count.  

Ahhh..., I am not intentionally keeping you in suspense.  Just trying to sort thru my feelings as I type this. was the result of my search this time.  Apparently Andrew is on the prowl again.  Andrew is my husbands middle name.  It is the name he uses when he is picking up women.  So he has a profile on under his middle name and his pseudonym is “Mr. Romantic“.  Yes, I would know this because it’s the same name he used when I first met me.

So this brings me to my current crossroad.  What do I want to do with this information?  These emails were of course from last year.  However he is still active on  I know this because I signed up for it to see if he was still on there and of course his profile is still existent.  I tried to send him a mesage of course I did not
use my name. I was just going to shout LIAR. Guess
what he pays for the service in order to send winks and
what not.  I could not send him a message because I do not and will not pay for the service.

Now that I have posted this there is so much more I need to get out to help me move on.  I am rather sleepy now so more tomorrow.

Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Cappelletti wrote Mar 24, 2010
    • I can only imagine how you must be feeling.  You are the only one who can decide what is best for you- I would recommend speaking with a professional counselor.  You can’t change him, but you can be a better and healthier you.
      Best to you,

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 24, 2010
    • oh honey - you need to sort this as it’s eating you up inside and it will cause you more heartache than him trust me.

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tabbie wrote Mar 24, 2010
    • lol...  Hi Dana and Vicki.
      hmmm..., I don’t mean to sound pitiful. Perhaps that is how I come off. Like I said just venting. I did lay awake trying to figure out what to do. But, when the sun rose I knew exactly what to do.
      There is this thing christians say, “Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning“.  It may be in the bible somewhere but it is not one I committed to memory.  Hmmm...  Just hope my pastor won’t see that I don’t remember.

      Now lets get a few things clear.  I did not actually cry.  I am “Fabulously 40” after all.  But,  I did ponder for a very long while.  There are children to be considered.  Not birth children but they are ours legally.  And, I just can’t see upsetting their atmosphere because of their idiot grand father.

      All that to say it is not eating me alive.  Dana has the correct idea.  My Pastor constantly says, “work on you. When you change he will change.  Not because you are changing him.  But because he will see the change in you.  And if he doesn’t change then the hell with him.  LOL...,  My pastor does not say the hell with him part.  I added that for fun.

      Seriously,  I am working on me.  I will find a counselor.  They are always good to have around.

      Thank you both for your support!!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote Mar 24, 2010
    • This is the one of the reasons I’m in the process of  a divorce now. The big question to you right now with thinking about it “Do you trust him?”

       If you don’t have trust you don’t have a marriage with or without kids. Do you want to look behind your shoulder at him for the rest of your life?

       Is there any other sign that he might be looking for some one else? Walking to another room or go outside when his phone rings? Going out without you knowing about it? Staying longer at work when he’s usually on time? Talking about the same things that happen weeks ago? Doesn’t let you in on what’s going on today?

      You have some soul searching to do and find out what’s best for you.

      Best of luckheart

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tabbie wrote Mar 24, 2010
    • Nope none of that stuff is happening right now..  And it has happened in the past  so I know all of the signs.  Trust me ladies I do have a handle on the situation.

      To answer your question.  No, I do not trust him.  You are correct in saying that withoit trust there is no marriage.  The soul searching has been done and was actually complete a while ago.  I have just been procrastinating.  

      My children have been through a lot in their young lives.  As my 8 year old told me I am his security.   I will not just uproot their lives just for my own happiness.  I must make a plan and work my plan.  Because of who they are to him I can not just walk away and take them with me.  I love them as if they were my own.  My happiness will come with the counseling and putting myself first.  I will not dwell on this trivial issue.  

      My big picture is so much more important than this at the moment.  It really did help to just post it and hear other comments.  What’s that Kelly Clarkson song?  “I am already gone”

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