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As I sit here in the living room listening to my daughter blow drying her hair a tear slowly rolls down my cheek and onto my t-shirt. I have been dreading this moment since the day my little lamb was born. Today she is off to meet her friends at Seaside Heights, New Jersey, and for those of you that don’t know anything about it, just think of a beach resort filled with young teenagers without their parents, and you will know the sorrow and fear I am feeling right now. My daughter just turned 16 on the 14th of May, had a wonderful Sweet 16 party on the 9th and it has been madness ever since.
Some of the High School’s around here had their senior prom last night and of course, my baby, my sophomore baby, has a bunch of friends that are seniors and they invited her to the “Beach House” they rented. Not to mention that she came home at 6:45 am because she met most of them at a teen club in the city last night. Yup, the big New York City!! My baby, my sweet little baby out so late, no, early. I couldn’t sleep, not even a snooze, still can’t. But, I know my baby, she is so smart and so educated that I allowed her to go out and I trusted her enough to say yes, sure, go have fun. Oh, she didn’t go alone, she went with two other kids, one girl and one boy.
Letting her go and experiencing life is one of the hardest things I have done in a very long time. Today will be no different. But what do we do as parents? We raised them, we know our children, well most of should at least, right? We were once that age so I went against my selfishness and let my daughter experience life on her own. But, I will never tell her grandparents that I let her go. Nope, never. Nicolette is my daughter so it’s my decision and I decided against them.
Wow, the blow dryer has stopped, now she is either putting on makeup or flat-ironing her hair. The time is getting closer for her to leave and I feel the butterflies accumulate in my stomach and think, no damn it, those are not butterflies stupid, you are making yourself sick. I am now taking long, deep breaths to make myself appear confident and certain that I made the right decision, there is no turning back now. That would destroy my daughter and I happen to love our relationship.
I just asked my daughter who was taking her to Jersey because yesterday it was me taking her and she named two boys names. Holy crap, are you kidding me right now??? So I reply, oh, and when are they coming to get you? She looked down for a second and then off to the left (not a good sign - means she is going to make something up!) but she must have changed her mind then and looked directly at me and said, they are Stevie’s friends, you haven’t met them but they were going and wanted to save you the trip. Ha ha ha, would you look at that, they wanted to save me the trip. I wanted to scream, that is not what I asked you, but I simply smiled and said, “Cool, what time are they coming to get you?” With which my sweet daughter casually responded, “I don’t know Mom.”
Hmm, this is getting interesting. The time is now 12:25 pm, no clue when the “friends” are arriving, but it is getting later and later by the second! I am feeling a little better, thinking that there will be less time for her to be at the beach house since she will be home tomorrow at 5:00 pm. Or around that time anyway. As I read this back I am thinking that I must sound like a crazy person using reasoning like that. What was I thinking? An hour away is too long.
Well, me sitting here isn’t helping the situation with my nerves either. I am going to take a shower and embrace the day instead of sitting here over thinking and driving myself nuts.
After all, we were kids once............