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My BFF from the age of 9 is in a world of emotional pain. She agreed to let her 15-year-old daughter (my goddaughter/“niece“) go live with her dad, after GD got in trouble at school. BIG trouble. They found out she had been “sexting,” which is sending nude pix of yourself over your cell phone. She sent these pix to a boy, whose GF then saw them and posted them on the web. All three got in trouble, facing suspension/expulsion and appearances in Juvy Court.

BFF is getting drunk tonight, and blaming herself for all that has happened. Not only is she hearing "you failed" from the ex, her own, right-now husband is telling her the same shit! (He is another blog, another day.)

What really sucks is, the ex is a horrible person. Have you ever known anyone who, seriously, everyone who came in contact with him said, "I hate that guy! What an a-hole!"? That is him. When GD and her sis where little, he "stepped out" of their lives for about 2 years, and BFF has been battling him for child support and dr bills, etc etc ever since he came back. He has refused as recently as a few months ago to give $$ to BFF for dance lessons, but now, all of a sudden, he's ready to pay for everything by having GD move in with him, his wife, his SD and BioSon.

We‘re afraid that his new-found “fatherly concern” has more to do with a trust fund GD has coming to her in 3 years (he has a serious gambling and 900 number addiction.)

So, I am feeling low for BFF, and worried about GD. I want this to be one stupid mistake that she will learn from. I want to know she is not going to continually have this thrown back in her face any time she does something wrong (her SM sounds like the kind of person who will never let this rest.) Mostly, I just want BFF to have some peace.

No advice needed, just wanted to share what was on my mind tonight.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • I will pray for the best outcome. I never like to place blame on others for the action of another. I would hope the adults in this girl’s life will rally together and do what is in her best interest...including seeing that a lesson is well learned. Unfortunately in my experience, adults cannot always be counted on to act like adults. Hopefully, Cindy, you will have a chance to positively impact this crisis.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jean Walter wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • So Sorry Cindy!  I know how heart-wrenching this feels...Been there done that!
      It is never easy on anyone to go through this but especially the child involved!
      They will pull at both directions until they get the emotional, physical attention that they need.
      The grass is never greener on the other side and your GD will find this out.
      Being in her Dad’s home comes a new set of rules that she will have to abide to and may not like. It is a struggle that I know all to well!
      I hope your BFF will find the peace she needs...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • Oh, Lucinda, I’m so sorry, for you and your BFF. You are right, it sucks! Do you mind if I say a prayer for the family? Especially protection for GD and hope for BFF.

      Keep us posted, okay?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • This makes me so sad...I have played the blame game and it is terrible.
      Without getting any support from her now husband she must feel hopeless...I hope someone is with her or keeps checking on her...I will say some prayers.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • BFF also is at a loss because GD has been in counseling, and she has always sits GD down to talk about repercussions (this kid has boy cousins with illegit kids, juvy records, doesn’t run with the best crowd, etc)

      Bio-dad kept saying, she doesn’t need counseling, and would not pay any $$ to help with sessions. Ironically, what did the school system say when they all met about this? “She needs to be in counseling.”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • Hope everything works out in your friends favor and especially for the good of you god daughter.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • She definitely needs counceling!  I hope she will still go.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • All I can say is “WOW“...I am right now considering myself truly blessed for my two boys and their ability to stay out of trouble.  

      I really do feel for your friend.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Psalmist wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • OMG!  I can only imagine that kind of pain.  i know you can’t tell her what to do, but getting drunk is only going to add to her pain.  wow!  i..wow!  i’m speechless.  i will be praying!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 17, 2009
    • Lu,
      Your BFF is in my prayers. What a sad situation this is. I so feel for her. She’s lucky to have you for a friend.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jan 18, 2009
    • For me, there’s no worse feeling than when i don’t feel that my husband and i are a “team“.  Unity is so important when parenting and to have a spouse who demeans you as a parent is simply unacceptable.  

      I’m sorry your friend has to deal with this and i’m sorry that you‘re feeling so badly for her.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 20, 2009
    • Praying for your BFF!! Is this the friend with MS? I so hope the stress of this does not worsen the condition if it is.

      Sometimes we need to step back and pray for the best outcome while taking care of us. Sounds like she needs to try this for her own sanity. I cannot even imagine what this is doing to her. I will be sending her positive vibes for her sanity and pray the daughter wakes up soon.

      I hope the cell phone is now gone gone gone!!  

      I’m thinking a fab40 slap down to the ex and current hubby too!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 20, 2009
    • Yeah, Tracy, this is the one with MS. She ended up at the ER because she went numb on one side. They ruled out stroke or Bell’s palsy, and said they did not see any new lesions. Said it’s one of those things that may or may not happen again, and is prob related to stress. Ya think?

      This is supposed to be a temporary situation, but ex keeps saying, don’t you think it would be easier to just give me full custody? HA! Not a freakin’ chance.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Jan 20, 2009
    • Oh Lu! i am so sorry that your BFF is going through all this.. i will keep her, AND you in Prayer... please keep us posted!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • please let her know she can email me if she ever needs support MS wise. feel free to give her my email!! ♥



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • Thanks, Tracy! You are all so sweet. Thanks for the warm thoughts.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Jan 23, 2009
    • Hey Lu! how is your BFF doing?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 23, 2009
    • She is coping. Sounded a lot better when we talked earlier this week. Her main concern is that GD learned a lesson.



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