Today was an extremely traumatic day for me.  I went to the beauty shop to get a trim and I left the shop with the length of my hair being less than two inches long.   I was devastated!

Over the past few months I have noticed that my full, thick and lovely locks of hair have been shedding and breaking off by the handfuls.  I have always prided myself in having very kinky, thick and long hair but now I was facing the hair graveyard because of emotional stress, my constant hair care neglect, product experimentation, and the continual use of excessive heat.  All of these things finally pushed my (usually strong) kinky hair beyond her health limits.

My stylist explained that she would have to “trim my hair” substantially to get it back at a healthy state. I hesitantly agreed to move ahead with the hair care plan.  However, the moment she began to cut off my damaged tresses I began to feel a flood of emotions.  

I wanted to yell, “Stop, please don’t cut off my hair! But I remained silent because I knew it was time.”  She saw my distressed look and asked me, “Are you okay?  Do you need some time before I go ahead with the cut?” I courageously looked her in the eyes and said, ” No, I am ready.  It’s hard for me to let it go but I know that it is time.”

Then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, ” Why have you been holding on to this damaged hair? Why is it so hard for you to let go? How did you let your hair get in this condition?”  I was also hit with a revelation that in many ways I demonstrated that same laissez faire behavior in other areas in my life. More specifically, for the past year I have been working so much that I haven’t been taking the time to handle my personal business.  Plus, unfortunately I have taken many of my personal gifts and attributes for granted.  

As the stylist cut off my damaged tresses; a thousand thoughts flooded my mind.

snip..snip..."What if your hair doesn't grow back? You know you're are getting older. Who will find you attractive?"  

snip...snip..."You know that a woman's hair is her glory? Will you ever be attractive anymore? Didn't Samson lose his strength this way?"  

snip...snip..."The men in your life loved your hair when it was big and long? Remember.... he use to love you."  

Before the first lock of hair could hit the floor the tears began to flow and my mind’s questions quickly transitioned into statements of doubt.

sniff...sniff.."I'm not as pretty without my big hair. My hair makes me pretty. I am no longer pretty."  

sniff..sniff..."I was totally neglectful to the things that I loved and that's why they are gone. I am being punished."  

sniff...sniff.."Is she really going to charge me $200 for this??!!! My hair looks a hot MESS."  

On the surface level, it was only my hair but I realized that my hair also told a story about who I have allowed myself to become.  My hair made a statement.  Somewhere along my journey I became distracted from my self-care journey.

I am the sister that would seek out and receive massages religiously every week.

I am the sister that made sure that the perm was touched up every 4 weeks, the twists were done every two months and  my hair was well moisturized and “greased“. (smile)

Well, I guess my hair is just symbolic of where I am in my life transition.

- It’s time to let damaged goods go if it takes away from my overall health.  Damaged hair, damaged feelings and emotions, damaged people.....

- It’s important to give myself a healthy start and commit to self-care.  Whether that consists of scheduling consistent trips to the hair saloon, going to the doctor, getting massages, taking my vitamins, etc.

- It’s important to make time to take care of me.  This may mean taking the extra 20 minutes to lotion my body thoroughly after a shower, 15 extra minutes before bedtime for a nightly facial, 30 additional minutes in the morning for meditation, 30 extra minutes of prayer.

Well, the one positive thing about today’s traumatic hair experience is that it is important to handle first things first!  

Let me go find my silk hair bonnet to put on.  It’s a long hair journey back to health, but I am ready for the task.

Good Night!