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My Life in Red Lipstick

  My lips are my best feature, I think anyway......so.......I just love wearing lipstick.........I wear it even to sleep......and I have a fondness for bright red lipstick in particular.

I thought it would be fun to tell you about all of the “odd” places when I wore it and different things I have done while sporting candy apple red lips......  

1.  I wore it on a dude ranch in Colorado.....yes, I know.....me on a dude ranch.......doesn’t quite mesh, but it was a business thing, so I had to act like I was “into” it......the “ranch hands” looked at me like I had 3 heads when I walked up to the group for a day of horseback riding, nature walks and square dancing (oh boy) with bright red lips........at least I looked cute when I fell off the horse and was dosey doeing with my partner......eeh hah.......

2.  I wore red lipstick during my breast reduction operation.........the doctor was cute, so I wanted to look my best while he was cutting up my boobies.  

3.  While in labor I was donning some big red lips.....I know, I know...everyone was down at the “other end“, but I wanted to be able to give my babies a big smooch mark when they came “out“....  

4.  I had red lips during a soulful make out session......very seductive but very messy.  

5.  I wear it to go food shopping..........hey, never know when you are going to bump into an old boyfriend.  

6.  Why of course I wear it to the beach.  OK, a little weird, but this way everyone will look at my lips and not my hips.  

7.  One time I wore it to a business meeting.......during the meeting I was drinking water out of the bottle......after the meeting I was hob knobbing with the big shots from the company....talking to them, making contacts........I was feeling great..........until I got out into the car and looked into the rear view mirror.......I had a dam foo man chu red mustache!!!!!!!!!  From drinking the water....the way my lips hit the bottle.......it smeared the extremely bright red lipstick all over my upper lip!!!!   I WAS HORRIFIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

8.  I wore it to the gym........I figured my trainer would look at my pouty lips instead of my back bacon.

9.  I wore it to the first  meeting for one of my kids activities.....I had never seen or met any of the other parents before........when I walked in the room.........all of the makeup-less mom’s looked at me like I was a slut........I have to admit, I felt like a slut next to them......the next time I toned it down and wore a pale virginal pink.  

10.  And Finally..........my son’s swim season just started today......and you can be rest assured, that I will be stylin’ and profilin’ with an extremely bright red pout at every darn swim meet.

xo



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