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In the past three years or so, i have moved several times. Twice to Nashville, and now Im in Dalton, Ga. Im lost and really confused right now.
Luckly for me i have a man, who will go that extra mile to try and keep me happy, but maybe not so good for him, im thinking. All of this moves have surrounded my kids, whom i love very much. And maybe i just didn’t want to let go of them who knows. It has been a whole lot of heartache for me.
We are broke now and living with my daughter, granddaughter and her husband, which was our plan when we came here. So that part is fine i guess.
We came here because my only daughter and the granddaughter i have help raised for the past two years decided to move down here. But we also felt like the job situation was so bad in Indiana, that we would do better here.
Its not horrilbe here, i mean i have my own room and my own space. Got my little doggies with me.  But at 47, i feel like a freaking gyspy, moving around all the time. And a big failure.  I have given up jobs, and places to live because of my kids, and grandkids. Now i am here, and i keep seeing the end, being very dramatic there, so pardon me.  I have been a CNA for the last five years and i loved it. But i have alot of back issues now, and other problems. And im just not sure what to do with myself anymore. My hubby keeps trying to talk me into going into nursing which is going to mean school.  And all i can see right now is that i am 47 years old. My mom has had breast cancer twice now, i have lost most of my family to cancer. None of them have lived to 80 even. I just keep thinking what a waste of a life.  Its not all bad but sometimes it is. I think maybe the menopause thing is causing some of my depressions. Any advice is helpful right now. I really missed the group and hope i can get back on it full time.  




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Feb 3, 2013
    • Hi Tracy,  

       I’m sorry you are having such a rough time of it right now. I do hope things improve soon for you. Have you been able to see a Dr for the depression? Also I would look into a desk type job with the back issues. Hang in there , and write anytime you wanna talk. Diane



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tracy Lynn Brown wrote Feb 3, 2013
    • Thank you so much. Unfornately i dont have insurance nor a doctor right now. I need to have alot of things checked out, No 1 mamograms that im behind on, and secrectly dread. I think the only way i could do a desk job was with some schooling.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Feb 3, 2013
    • Some physical therapy or an excersise class might do wonders for your back, depending on what is wrong with it of course.  But strengthening the muscles is always a good thing.

      Glad to see you back posting here.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Feb 4, 2013
    • Tracy, I’m glad to see you back here. I know through the years it’s been trying for you. I understand what’s going with with back issues and CNA work. It’s a difficult job and very taxing physically. I am in nursing school right now, second semester, and will be an LPN by the end of summer, if I pass my board exam. Then RN school for 2 more semesters. It has not been easy,I must tell you. The pre requisites along were tough, the first semester of actual nursing school was tough, but now in the second semester, I’m so glad I did it. I’ll be able to take the nursing degree and pursue a number of avenues with it. Whatever you decide, do it for you so that your heart feel right.heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tracy Lynn Brown wrote Feb 5, 2013
    • I have missed you all so much, and it is so nice to get on here and hear your advice. I dont really have those kinds of relationships in the outside world, i do have a mom, and i do love her, but we just dont connect.  I would love to go back to school, and nursing is something that i have allways wanted to do, but fear of failing has held me back



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Feb 5, 2013
    • Great to see you again, Tracy.  Sorry to hear all this is going on, you have a lot on your plate.  Just a suggestion, but how about looking into a trade school which would not require a lot of schooling and checking with your local social services office to see if you could get some help financially and medically while you are in school.

      Cancer is a big scare, but if you keep a check on things early on, it will help you in a big way.

      Remember we are here to always lend an ear!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tracy Lynn Brown wrote Feb 5, 2013
    • yes i really do need to get help with the medical stuff, and im sure i could. My mom has had breast cancer twice now, once in each breast, and my grandmother died of what i thought was lung cancer and later was informed they thought it started in her ovaries, we havent had the testing but it is pretty good beat that we are carrying the brca gene. My moms brother also passed with bone cancer, we also all smoked besides my mom.
      I know that i play russian roulette with my health. Which i am more than intellegent enough to know better, but my smoking is an addiction.  I have dreaded becoming older because i know how much my risks are increasing and its very scary to me.  So im sticking my head in the sand.  Need a kick in the ass im sure. lol  I have spent three months up here being depressed and feeling sorry for myself cause im soon to be 48 and i dont want to be old to be honest. crazy i know.



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