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I’ve been packing all morning.  It has to be done and since I’m the only one here, it’s my job.

My mom was a wonderful woman and the only thing I got of hers when she died is the musical figurines that I had given her throughout the years.  I treasure those figurines.

Mom died 18 years ago from a brain tumor.  It just hit her and from the time it was diagnosed to the time she left was only 5 days.  I held her hand when they turned off life support.  I didn’t want to let her go.

She was a very brave person.  When I was in 11th grade she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She took it like a trooper.  She always said that God was watching out for her.  I just wish I was as brave as her.

I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers.  They got first dibs on my mom’s things.  I didn’t mind, though, because I had my memories of my mom.

I just had to get this out.  Why? I don’t know.  I sit here crying as I’m typing this.  I know she is in a better place but I still miss her.  I find myself doing things the way she used to do them, and I smile every time.

I’m packing up those figurines and  putting extremely fragile on each box.  It brings back so many memories, some good some not so good.  But they are my memories, none the less.

The day of Mom’s funeral, I was snubbed by family and friends.  I felt like an outsider at my own mom’s burial.  I haven’t been to the grave site since.  I just hope my mom realized how much I Loved her before she took her last breath.  She will always be in my heart.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 11, 2012
    • Oh Sandi...... I’m sure you‘re mom knew you loved her. Even if you didn’t always get along.

      Hold on to those memories and cherish the time you did spend with her.

      heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 11, 2012
    • Let the tears flow, they are cleansing.  Then you’ll be able to pack those precious items with a smile.  heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jan 11, 2012
    • Your mom will always be looking down and watching over you, no one can change that.  You have some precious things to remember her by.heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jan 11, 2012
    • Sandy, Im
      so sorry you are hurting.Tulip is right, let the tears flow, then you will feel better   (((hugs)))



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mlvela71 wrote Jan 11, 2012
    • I lost my mom just over 3 yrs ago to pancreatic cancer.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about or talk to her for that matter (not in a crazy way happy ).  I still cry and it is cleansing, but I also remember to laugh with her too.  She was a funny lady!!  Always make time to laugh when thinking of your mom Sandy too!

      heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Diane17 wrote Jan 11, 2012
    • Sandy, I’m sorry you‘re hurting.  I too lost my mom back in 2007...almost 5 years ago.  This may sound silly but sometimes I pick up a picture of her and talk to her.  It helps me in a way.  I also remember a lot of her “sayings” that she would tell me.  And I’m realizing what a wise woman she was.  It is okay to grieve and remember the times spent with her, the good and not so good.  Hugs to you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 11, 2012
    • She knows, Sandi. She feels your love every day and your emotions right now are a sign that she’s sending her love back to you - directly to your heart. Cherished memories of those we loved so much and have lost are often bitter sweet. I don’t think the sense of loss ever really leaves us.heartbreakheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Jan 12, 2012
    • I leave the words to part of a song I learned in my earlier years, “memories don’t live like people do, they always stay with you whether things be good or bad“.  Enjoy all the memories.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Jan 13, 2012
    • I agree with tulip.  

      So sorry your going thru this my friend. I am sure your mom can feel your love for her at this moment and is with you.heart ((((hugz))))



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