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I’m new to this site, so I hope nobody minds that I let out alittle fustration? I feel like screaming, yelling & mostly crying.. You see my mom was diagnose with Parkinson’s Disease about 2 months ago, along with that, back in (2007) she starting having mini-strokes she has been in & out of the hospital sinces then. My mom has always been a very strong independent lady, she has been both mom & dad to me, my sister & 2 brothers sinces (1971). My dad died almost 38 yrs ago & she really didn’t have time to grief, because she went straight to work because she had 4 kids she had to take care of..Even though we didn’t have the very best, I know for sure we ALWAYS had her attention, she always spend time with us & most of all we had her LOVE & we still do.

Now to see her the way she is breaks my heart. But she is still making sure that we are ok & doing good..She depends more on me to do things for her..I’m the 3rd one born, I take her to appts, make sure she has all her medications & things she might need. Today she was admitted into the hospital & she had another stroke & her shakes seem to come right after another & worst. Her doctor says it will be getting worst. She lost her eye site alittle over a yr ago & that NEVER held her back on still wanting to do things for herself. Even though she does things at a very slow pace she still gets it done. I admire her for that.. I also have to be here for my family, even though I know they can do for themselves. She tells me that I need to be there for them,& it’s not fair that I’m the one she depends on the most, but I ALWAYS tell her “You always took care of me,I WANT to take care of you” she was ALWAYS there for me, so now it’s my turn..

It’s NOT fair!!! I have a strong faith in GOD, but WHY? She is who I am, who I have become.. I CAN‘T see the rest of my life without herfrown I call her everyday & everyday we tell each other that we love each other.. My boys are stilling growing & have so much to look forward too. Am I been selfish? Asking God to let me keep her as long as I can? Thank you for letting me get some of this off my chest..



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Notmac wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • It’s you mom, its not selfish to want her with you for longer.  I lost my mom in August of 2001 to cancer, it was awful.  I would have loved to have her around longer.  I eventually got to the point that I would not have wished her back, but I always have wished for just a little more time with her, if that is selfish....it is also because you love your mom.  I am thankful that I had a good relationship with my mom, no regretts, I am thankful for you that you sound like you also have a great relationship with your mom.  Love her and let her know how much you appriciate her, and all she has done for you, you never know how much time you will have her.  Hang in there!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • 1. Welcome
      2. No apology necessary - this site created by Yana is for us to connect, vent, cry, laugh, and everything....
      3. Sorry to hear about the illness of your mother.  She is such a strong woman and guess who has learned greatly from her???  



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kelly Robertson wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • I hear ya, sister, and I’m so sorry for your pain. I love my mom too, an amazing woman.

      From a spiritual aspect, your mom’s challenges exist to serve in one way or another, believe it or not. Heaven, a place where we’ll all be some day, is beautiful: Our pets and other family members are there waiting for us, there’s no pain and no sickness - just love and peace.  

      You cannot control anything but YOU and YOUR ATTITUDE. Give gratitude for the time you have with your mom, and pray for her healing. There’s power in prayer but ultimately, it’s all GOD’s plan and there’s a plan for all of us (Spiritualism teaches that before we come into the physical life, we CHOOSE our parents, our lives, our challenges—everything, meant to help us grow and help those around us grow).
      If your mom passes, you’ll be happy that she’s not sick any more and I promise you, she’ll be waiting for you when it’s your time.  I’ve read that when we cross over, it’s “standing room only” on the other side - isn’t that a beautiful thought!?!  

      Sending Angels your way (Raphael is the healing Archangel - give him a yell and he’ll be there in an instant—you’ll be able to feel him, he’s that big!). love, kelly



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Toddlein wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • I know how you feel and I’m sorry for your pain! I too talk to mom everyday and she also means the world to me.
      You are being a great daughter and I too would do the same. Enjoy every minute you have with your mother and keep your faith ♥
      You sound like you are a strong lady and you are definately doing alot right now. No you are not being selfish...your mother is very fortunate to have such a loving daughter.
      Vent anytime...it helps ♥
      Sandi



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • Thank you for your kind words & I will cherish everyday I have with her.. Because I know when the time does come she will be with my dad, they will be together again..Sorry to hear about your mom, Thank you for being there..Hope to hear from you again..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • Thank you for the invitation & having time to hear me out..I look up to my mom she is my mentor & I will cherish everyday I have with her..I am strong because of her & will be there for her, for as long as I will have her..Thank you again, hope to hear from you soon.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • Thank you for your kind words..I too believe that when you go to heaven that there is no more pain..She will still be the beautiful, strong, loving, caring mom that I love so..And she will be with my dad again (the love of her life).. Thank you again, Hope to hear from you soon.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • Thank you for letting me vent, it does help. I apprieciate  everybody on this site having time to hear me out.. I’m glad I joined & making new & wonderful friends.Thank you again for your kind words..Hope to hear from you soon.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Sickinger wrote Jul 8, 2009
    • GM, I know this is an old post, but I wasn’t here yet when you posted. OMG sweetie, my heart breaks for you!
      I know that you are aware now of my situation with my parents, but, believe it or not (and it will come out in a later blog) I was the one who took care of my Mom when she was sick before she passed, too. I know how hard it is to watch them suffer and carry the responsibility on your shoulders. My Mom had strokes, too and was paralyzed on the left side of her body for the last 4 years of her life and had to be totally cared for. That was left up to me. I wouldn’t have traded that for the world though. Even though she never loved me, I loved her with all my heart and would do it all over again.
      You just cherish every moment that you still have with her while she is here. I’m not going to tell you that when she is gone that time will heal and it will get easier as others say, because I have learned that not to be true. It hurts. It hurts just as bad now a year and a half later as it did the day I lost her, but she still lives with me...in my heart. She lives in Maisie. She was her pride and joy just as she is mine and I can look at that child and find comfort in knowing that she is still with us.
      Just love her and do the best you can do with her and NEVER...and I mean NEVER...fail to tell her how much you love her. I’m sure she knows, but it will help you later...trust me.
      If you ever need to talk, you know where I am.



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