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Instead of the usual "good morning" my husband hears every day, the first thing out of my mouth was, "Honey, don't you think I should get a breast lift?"


My husband who was brushing his teeth at the time, turned, looked at me, put away his tooth brush and said: "Why would you want to do that? "Well" I said, as women get older gravity takes it's toll and breasts begin to sag. My husband nodded in acceptance that my explanation made perfect sense and said, "So let's talk when and if your breast will sag.”

As I stood there dumbstruck, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. The only plausible thing at that moment was to have a smile plastered all over my face and utter, "You're absolutely right, why worry about it now".

As I walked back to my bed I found myself getting back in, rather than making the bed and getting dressed. As I curled into a fetal position and closed my eyes, I remembered the words of my aunt, "Men only see what we want them to see", she said, and added, "Plus they loose their eyesight sooner then we do".  I clearly recall that her words didn't mean much to me then, but as I played them inside my head I began to see the rational.

This is when I got up, took a note pad and found myself writing:

New Year Resolution for 2008

I will NOT ask my husband if I look fat or bloated.

I will NO longer obsess about my thighs, or my behind or my breast for that matter.

I will NOT nag or complain about things that are forgotten by the next day.

I will NOT get upset at him because he is constantly late, after all, I should know better after so many years.

Instead I will tell him:

How much I love him.

How happy he makes me feel.

How much effort it takes to look this good.

And finally I will make sure that he doesn't get his eyes checked for at least a decade.

Ladies, love your-self, respect yourself and take pride in yourself.  The rest will follow.


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kendal wrote Jan 10, 2008
    • yana, great article. It has taken me many years to realize this, but whatever we point out to our partners is what they will see.  

      As humans we point out what we feel is wrong with ourselves, but realistically, people only pay attention and realize flaws (not only men) when we highlight those flaws, and make evident that we have gained weight (ie: do I look fat?) .  

      That is a horrible question to ask because we are setting ourselves up for unnecessary negative attention.

      after years of experience, i have finally learned, ONLY POINT OUT YOUR POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES...if you dont like something about yourself, work on it, but dont put it on the front page of the new york times!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Jan 10, 2008
    • Think of yourself as PERFECT, after all we are 40 and Fabulous!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shelly Molaschi wrote Jan 10, 2008
    • Yana, you write like you talk.  That is the sign of a skillful writer!  But you know that already. . .I hope.

      Thanks for making me smile.

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Camie Dunbar wrote Jan 11, 2008
    • I second that motion...although it does hurt business happy!

      Have an “uplifting” day!

      Love ya!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne Lyken-Garner wrote Jan 12, 2008
    • Hi Yana, You gave me a chuckle with this article.  It’s very well written and amusingly uplifting.

      Thanks for sharing.


            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sandra Chaplin wrote Aug 24, 2008
    • Yana, first off I like to thank you for welcoming me to this website, after reading the article above and being in my late forties I can contest to the fact that gravity has taking it's toll on me and my body, the light of it all is that if I don't love myself and who I am, This will be so depressing to me. I don't look like I did twenty years ago and I can't bring those days back, I do have the now and to make myself happy I need to not feel sorry for myself but be thankful that I do have the breath of life and can truly count myself to be blessed and well off than most, and truly have nothing to complain about. Thank you for this site because I was truly feeling that no one understood what it mean to be forty-plus.

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Nov 9, 2008
    • I love that, sometimes at least, guys DO get it!

      Scott has been very active in re-training me to enjoy my body and all its curves, rather than freakishly obsess over it. I love how confident he is when we‘re out together, and how proud he is to have me with him.

      It does a tremendous number on my self-esteem, and has been paramount in whipping my attitude about myself right back into shape.

      Great post, Yana!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 9, 2008
    • I love it Yana..thanks for the re-focus...My breasts have always been a sore spot for me and only me..Hubby is just fine with them...I would have loved to get my ‘girlies’ done but he won’t have any of it..Apart from those, I’m really happy with the way I look now..Ok..Time to stop

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 9, 2008
    • Good.. no more Bombing talk or threat!  We are safe!  Finally!!!

      Also I like the idea of not having his eyes checked.
      He borrowed my bifocals all the time.. now I am hiding all of them.

            Report  Reply

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