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Unfortunately my 9 year old has a cell phone because my husband thought it would be a good idea for some reason. I periodically check both of my kids phones to make sure that there is nothing inappropriate on them. I would have thought it would be my 15 year old before my 9 year old (Jordan)! Last week I was checking Jordan’s text messages and noticed a girl’s name over and over and over again so I read her messages. I could tell she was older just by the way she wrote. I also didn’t like the fact that it seemed like she was chasing after him. I could tell by his one word answers back to her that she was the one trying to initiate all of the conversations. I found out from Jordan that she is a sister of one of his friends that he plays with a lot & also that she is 12 years old. I just can’t rationalize why a 12 year old girl would be giving this much attention to a 9 year old boy!?!?!?  She texts him to tell him she is in school & bored, to say that she is going to sleep (at 9:30 at night!) to ask him if he is coming over to play that day...etc. Should I be worried or have things changed since I was a kid? When I was her age I never would have given the time of day to a 9 year old boy! Am I over reacting?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • Luvin40...

      If I were you, I would contact the girl’s parents and let her know you just don’t think that is appropriate and to make sure her daughter discontinues the text messaging and calling if that is going on... to your son. A 12 year old has no business texting a 9 year old boy..and what is she doing with a phone at school...that would be middle school??  Give her parents a chance to handle it but if they choose not to then maybe you should contact her school just to let them know she is texting while at school and change your son’s number. I wouldn’t put up with that for a minute.  Just my opinion.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • I agree with Mary. I’d alert the parents since there is an established relationship already with your son and this girl’s brother. I’d also get the straight story from your son and make sure he knows your intention with the parents to avoid any possible embarrassment.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • maryclark- thanks! Unfortunately, my husband and I had to leave on a business trip last week so I had to put this situation off to the side until I got back. I told my son not to erase any of the messages she has sent to him in case I need to show her parents. He seems to have no clue why she keeps bothering him and says he is going to tell her to quit. Should I give this girl the chance to stop first before going to her parents? That is my dilemma right now. I don’t want to make it uncomfortable for my son to go there to play with her brother if I don’t have to. But at the same time I know I have to think about his welfare first.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • I may be wrong, but the texts sound pretty innocent. It almost sounds like she is texting because it’s what kids do nowadays, not because she is feeling romantic towards him.

      I bought my niece (15) a cell phone for her birthday last year and her mom and my brother found some really suggestive texts/pictures sent to her by some boy.
      Since I purchased the phone for her, I contacted Verizon and had her phone number changed. It took all of 5 minutes to do it. After her phone was returned to her (it took a while!) she had a new number and a new respect for rules.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • Oh don’t we love the cell phones! I had a similiar situation when my daughter was 11 and her brothers 13 year old friend kept texting her. My kids got cells early as due to my MS and no driving they have to walk to and from school. So, we got the phones for this purpose.  

      I checked the phone periodically also and questioned my daughter and son as to why he was emailing her. It turned out to be harmless. They liked the same video games etc so he liked talking to her. I did have the chance to ‘speak’ to him also, and think that freaked him out. lol

      Is there a way you can speak to the girl in private? I asked my now 12 year old daughter why someone her age would text a 9 year old. She said, boredom! lol

      Keep cking his cell and see if she indeed stops. I agree talking to the parents can cause some embarrassment. But, if she does not stop and/or no good reason for this, then I would talk to the parents.

      Do you have a friendship with the mom? Maybe you can ask in a joking matter. Like, “Isn’t is funny xxxxx texts Jordan? Never thought they would end up being friends too‘” Or something to that effect!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • I agree with you, Mztracy. Knowing how sensitive some situations can be, I think I would only speak to the parents if I absolutely felt she was crossing the line.
      She even said in one of her texts that she is bored, there doesn’t appear to be anything else going on.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Rowe wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • I think kids should only have cell phones for emergencies and for communications with their parents when they are apart.
      I agree with Mary-contact the parents. If your child uses their phone for any other purpose than what you’ve allowed them to use it for, then take it away!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • They do have those phones that can be pre-programmed to certain numbers only. For a 9 year old that may be a bit more do-able.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindy Stewart Penkoff wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • I agree with inakika.  A cell phone for a nine year old should be used for emergencies only.  4 numbers only; mom, dad, a neighbor and 911, that is it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Christine Laureano wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • Here is my 2 cents...I have a 12 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. My daughter has a phone, and yes, texts her friends. I ask a lot of questions about who she in “talking” to. We have set some guidelines, that if she does not follow the phone is gone.  

      My son wants a phone, but will not get one until 5th grade -at least. They want the phones, but also have to be given the rules. They are given so much leaway with little responsibilty to for actions. Remember - we are the parents!

      I would contact the parents to see if they are aware that their daughter is texting a 9 year old. Personally, I would questions if a 12 year old was texting my 9 year old. You may want to contact your phone company to see if they can restrict the texting - or eliminate it. My daughter had a scary prank done to her through her cell. I went directly to the parents.

      Children lose their innocence so early, we don’t need to help them along.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • Well, our 12 and 13 years old want cell phones and thankfully my hubby and I are on the same page where this is concerned, we think they are too young. Now, I will say that my 12 year olds bio dad wants to buy them (our 8 year old too) cell phones, but I’m not allowing him to do that. For one, I don’t want to be stuck with a bill when he can’t/won’t pay it, but I’m just not ready for it. My hubby’s 8 yr old mom got him one and when he’s with us, it stays with dad.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Nov 12, 2008
    • Thanks for all the advice ladies! I found pictures that he sent of himself to her yesterday. When I asked him why he had sent them he told me she had asked him to. She told him she wanted to show it to a friend of hers. Maybe she just thinks he is an adorable “little” boy & means nothing by it but I don’t want to take the chance. I told him I will give him the chance first to tell her that he can not text with her anymore & if that does not work, I will go to her parents. I have not met either one of them yet so I’m not sure how they will react having some stranger tell them their daughter is crossing the line with the texts. Hopefully she will stop on her own so it won’t come to that. Maybe she does do it out of boredom but I’m sure she has friends her own age she can text when she is bored. I told my son to tell her that we don’t think he is old enough to have ANY girls calling or texting him. That way in case it is innocent, she won’t feel like we are accusing her of something she may not be intending to be doing. Wish me luck! I hate confrontations but will do it if it needs to be done!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Nov 12, 2008
    • I think that was a great way to start handling it Luvin40.  Like you said she might be texting him out of boredom...but he really isn’t old enough for all of that.  And asking him to send pics of himself...something about that just doesn’t sit too well with me.  But I think you handled it in the right manner.  If that were my daughter doing that I would want you to call me.  I would want to know.  Good luck....



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